Which of these 3 options in NYC as a primary earning mom who has to RTO?
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
|
1. Live in a 1000 square foot apartment and send my kids to $65k per kid per year privates (bad public options where we live) so that I can commute into an office and spend most of my time on teams calls but still keep my commute to 30 mins and make it home by 6.30 and save a small amount each year
2. Live in a larger apartment/ house, send my kids to $65k per year privates (same issue as above) and commute just under an hour to work where I am in teams calls 80% of the time with colleagues across the country and save a small amount each year 3. Move to the suburbs and spend no money on school, more money on taxes, have a larger home, but commute 3 hours a day 3-4 times a week so that I can be in person in an office where i am on teams calls. Save more each year but potentially quit and burn out because I am bad at making peace with substantial inconvenience. in a world where no option is perfect, what is the option? |
Anonymous
| Send kids public in the city. It can be done. |
Anonymous
| There must be cheaper options between public and 65/year. |
Anonymous
| Another plan. |
Anonymous
| Move to live where the colleagues across the country live. Pick someplace fun with good public schools. Visit NYC on vacation. Send your kids to NYU and Columbia as geographic diversity picks. |
Anonymous
|
I'd pick option 2, but DH would pick 3.
It all comes down to what you value. |
Anonymous
|
You've ruled out several other options for unknown reasons.
1. There are some good public schools in NYC. There's no need to spend $65,000 a year for private school. This is especially true for smart kids. 2. There are private schools which cost less than $65,000 a year. |
Anonymous
| 1000 fr apartment in the city and look for a different job. You can’t possibly be qualified for one job only in NYC. Also can you move outside of NYC (with your kid and job)? |
Anonymous
|
I guess option 2 if 1 gets you home “early” at 6:30. That seems very late for being the shortest commute. At least with 2 you get some space.
But these all sound terrible and I would look for a new job before settling into any of these situations |
Anonymous
Seriously. |
Anonymous
| None of the options are great, but I have always prioritized commute so I think option 1 is the best option of those presented. |
Anonymous
| Larger nice apartment in a closer suburb with good schools. If you are in NYC that means Brownsville, Pelham, Bayside. All 40 min away. |
Anonymous
| My parents chose not to move out of NYC to Westchester because they both worked and felt that it would be too difficult to get home quickly in the event of an emergency. |
Anonymous
|
I would move within the city to be in a better public school district and focus on keeping my commute under an hour.
However, it is pretty clear from your post that you are (understandably) disgusted with the RTO situation, so I would take into account that you may wind up searching for and finding a different job eventually. |
Anonymous
|
Look for a new job.
Look outside the city for areas that have shorter commutes. CT or NJ. Friends moved from Brooklyn to Princeton NJ and commute 3x a week into the city. The woman who is the breadwinner gets up and takes an early train so the total commute is a little over an hour. Public schools in Princeton let you drop off at 8 am and they have good after school programs. I will pick up her kid from afterschool if she has to work late in the city or her husband is MIA. People help each other and it’s not a problem. I know people who did this in CT or a suburb closer to NYC in NJ. Honestly I would just look for a new role and see what happens. That cost for private is insane! |