When you feel like an outsider in your chosen profession…

[Anonymous]

Not trying to start a political fight, or a DEI discussion (I’m not diverse) but my profession- law- sometimes feels like it is full of people from similar backgrounds, culture and yes, religion (again, I have no interest in starting a fight, so relax people).

Anyone else feel this way about their profession? Whatever it is. I know I need to get over it, and feel lucky that I am from a relatively privileged position as a MC American, but sometimes it feels like I’ll always be an outsider among most of my work peers.

[Anonymous]

Law

[Anonymous]

What particularly makes you feel like an outsider? Figuring that out was helpful for me.

I am also a lawyer and felt the same way in private practice, even as a partner. In retrospect, I think most of my colleagues felt like outsiders too and just put up a good front, so I didn’t realize how isolated many of them felt until after I left.

I moved in-house and it’s been great because my “peers” are now not other lawyers, although I still do work with lawyers too.

However, my most sustained contact is with people at my company in other professions (accountants, safety, BD, etc). This broader scope of interactions has helped me feel like less of an outsider because it’s less homogeneous professionally and there’s more actual diversity there too.

So while I know what you mean, I hope you’re able to feel empowered to change this if that’s something that would make a difference to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What particularly makes you feel like an outsider? Figuring that out was helpful for me.

I am also a lawyer and felt the same way in private practice, even as a partner. In retrospect, I think most of my colleagues felt like outsiders too and just put up a good front, so I didn’t realize how isolated many of them felt until after I left.

I moved in-house and it’s been great because my “peers” are now not other lawyers, although I still do work with lawyers too.

However, my most sustained contact is with people at my company in other professions (accountants, safety, BD, etc). This broader scope of interactions has helped me feel like less of an outsider because it’s less homogeneous professionally and there’s more actual diversity there too.

So while I know what you mean, I hope you’re able to feel empowered to change this if that’s something that would make a difference to you.

Op here. That’s true, my larger company is less homogeneous, but my division is very similar in background. Similar in background, from the same area, went to the same schools and then to know each other or at least have cross paths socially, golf clubs etc. I’m originally from out of state.

The lower lever staff in my dept are more diverse, but every single senior level person other than one, is from a similar background.

I’m not even remotely saying they all don’t deserve to be there or they’re not qualified (all very smart and credentialed) but it does make me feel like an outsider

[Anonymous]

Law +1

[Anonymous]

Went to UVA for law school, lots of kids from wealthy families, same thing in biglaw. I dunno, just kinda is what it is.

I find the people in government to be much more down to earth.

[Anonymous]

My entire career my profession has been filled with white people at the senior levels. I’m a POC. So yeah I guess I get it OP - the feeling of being not like everyone else. Not much I can do about it. I just focused on my skills, my development, going after opportunities that were right for me. Not saying it was easy. You feel like you have to ‘work at belonging’ - on top of working the job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My entire career my profession has been filled with white people at the senior levels. I’m a POC. So yeah I guess I get it OP - the feeling of being not like everyone else. Not much I can do about it. I just focused on my skills, my development, going after opportunities that were right for me. Not saying it was easy. You feel like you have to ‘work at belonging’ - on top of working the job.

I feel this way at work. White woman. You need to talk about sports and normcore things to socialize. My big boss had a 20 minute late day convo with us about 1980s WWF stars the other day. Andre the Giant, etc. My brain is inwardly screaming a lot.

[Anonymous]

Also a woman in law (public policy, gov affairs) and I relate. It’s hard. I can’t swim with these people—happy hours, volunteer committees, and golf tournaments make me want to cry. I’m not antisocial, I just can’t do “shallow” that well. I’m good at the hard analytical work, and the strategic thinking— but not the relationships. I see people with half the skill progressing in their careers because they are good at leveraging their relationships into new opportunities. It doesn’t come naturally to me and I feel like a fraud when I try.

[Anonymous]

I thought it was lonely not coming from a wealthy family but now I find myself surrounded by colleagues who all attend church while I am not religious. Very surprising turn here in 2025 USA.