Dealing with bullying

[Anonymous]

My 13 yo ds came back in district after being at a private school for a couple of years. He is very nerdy, has ADHD and severe anxiety and is trying hard to be a cool kid. A group of wanna be tough boys are targeting him in his classes. They are picking on him and it’s only been 3 days. I want to talk to the administration but I’m not sure how to handle this. I do not want to make it worse for him. Has anyone else dealt with something like this and how did you handle it?

[Anonymous]

I grew up in a very rough school. If you are dealing with serious gang issues, I would consult with the local police before talking to administration. If it’s what you are describing, step in if they are threatening to put on hands or do. I wish my parents noticed that I had gotten beaten up at 14.

[Anonymous]

I continue to believe that the best response is for your kid to pick the mouthiest one, wait for a provocation (ideally one involving physical contact) and then throw themselves onto the offender like the third badger in line to get on the Ark until pulled off by a teacher.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I continue to believe that the best response is for your kid to pick the mouthiest one, wait for a provocation (ideally one involving physical contact) and then throw themselves onto the offender like the third badger in line to get on the Ark until pulled off by a teacher.

You don’t get it. This isn’t 1950 anymore where the hatchet gets buried after a little scrap. Kids in “crews” these days will exact revenge by waiting for you to be alone and then jumping you or by vandalizing your house at night. They will create a long running fraud that will escalate.

[Anonymous]

Op: this is a suburban district. These kids are wannabe thugs. But they are targeting him, picking on him and destroying his self esteem

[Anonymous]

Homeschool

[Anonymous]

OP how many classes is this happening in? What are they doing? What do you know about the teachers in the classes where it's happening? What is your DS saying to you about it?

[Anonymous]

In 2 maybe 3 classes. I received a call from the school today saying that they were talking to the kids involved and it was being resolved. But my ds told me things were still going on after that with these kids. I plan to contact the school on Monday and monitor this closely

[Anonymous]

Ask them what exactly they’re doing to resolve it AND be sure it is documented in your son’s records.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ask them what exactly they’re doing to resolve it AND be sure it is documented in your son’s records.

Yup

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In 2 maybe 3 classes. I received a call from the school today saying that they were talking to the kids involved and it was being resolved. But my ds told me things were still going on after that with these kids. I plan to contact the school on Monday and monitor this closely

Document everything.

I am sorry this is happening.

[Anonymous]

Look up the district bullying policy that usually indicates the process. Document and work the process. If the principal isn’t responsive to above them.

[Anonymous]

Report it in writing, demand an effective response and elevate quickly if you don't get it. Document everything. Everything.

[Anonymous]

You should have kept him in private.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You should have kept him in private.

It wasn’t working out for a variety of reasons