Have recently had some very negative interactions with a co worker

[Anonymous]

I don’t report to her but she is a level up from me. I might have ignored but others came to me to vent and complain about how difficult, negative and disruptive this person often is.

I have a direct line to her boss fwiw.

Should I speak to her boss? I can work it in informally. Or should I speak to her directly? Or leave it?

The irony is that our co does many trainings every year on building a culture of kindness and collaboration, and constructive criticism, and this person is responsible for leading those goals for her group. She’s also made herself the little helper when we have group trainings and she passes out sheets listing our values, etc. and then scolds people for not paying enough attention in lectures and that sort of thing.

Meanwhile she’s the biggest nightmare.

[Anonymous]

Report her for what exactly? She’s mean and unlikable?

Unfortunately, you’ll have to figure out a way to manage your uncomfortable interactions with her. There isn’t much a manager can do about someone who is unpleasant. If she’s breaking a company policy and putting the company at risk, then you can bring it up.

[Anonymous]

I dont report to her.

Not that I would ‘report’ her in the HR official sense.

And the reason I included all the background on our cultural goals is that our co makes a HUGE deal of it. It is the primary focus of our self goals every year etc.

And the other people complaining our on the client side. We are service side. So they are complaining it impacts their projects.

Personally I would want to know if one of my reports was difficult, but maybe that’s me. And yes, you can do something about it. People are expected to have both soft and hard skills.

[Anonymous]

I guarantee that her boss knows she’s difficult. But it probably won’t hurt anything to talk to her boss about it. Don’t expect anything to change and be willing for her to find out.

[Anonymous]

Just keep venting with the others that come to you to vent. It'll bubble up. Gossip away and be really cliquey and then look in her direction a lot.

[Anonymous]

I assume you are friends with her boss?

Let me explain something:
You only have so much complaining capital in the workforce before you look like a troublemaker.

You get a little extra capital if the people you're complaining to are your actual friends, vs just friendly work people.

So regardless of the actual merits of the case (this is very important, I don't care who is right or wrong here), you want to consider whether it's worth it to you to expend a little of that capital.

That's all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I assume you are friends with her boss?

Let me explain something:
You only have so much complaining capital in the workforce before you look like a troublemaker.

You get a little extra capital if the people you're complaining to are your actual friends, vs just friendly work people.

So regardless of the actual merits of the case (this is very important, I don't care who is right or wrong here), you want to consider whether it's worth it to you to expend a little of that capital.

That's all.

This is really good advice.

I’m not friends with her boss but we work together and have a solid working relationship, or rather I work for her. The boss is C suite. So yes, I don’t want to pester her with whiny crap. You make an excellent point.

But it seems like this will be taken care of on its own. The business lead from one team is taking it to her boss. Difficult employee acted up in front of her today, and she’s pissed.

[Anonymous]

Having the same problem I have/had a work buddy for years we mainly talked politics lately he gets super annoying and heated and very moralistic. I basically have to stop talking to him.

[Anonymous]

No one thinks op should actually speak to the other employee??