Away games and sitting on the bench

[Anonymous]

New to travel DD is 2012 team.
Tournament this past weekend and she had limited playing time. Sunday was 7 mins total.
I don’t want to be that parent approaching the coach but I also don’t need to waste a weekend day driving DD anywhere from 1-2 hours each way for an away game for her to sit on the bench for the majority. If there are 14+ kids going is it ok to not go? Talk to the coach? Or do we suck it up and go?

[Anonymous]

FWIW I've schlepped 3 hours to have my kid (12) ride the bench the entire game. You can vote with your money but the coach doesn't really care about your complaints.

[Anonymous]

Most coaches say they play to win in tournaments. So they play what they think are the best. A good conversation is what your DD needs to work on to get there.

[Anonymous]

Find a different team where she can play more.

[Anonymous]

It's a lot of money to ride the bench. I'd look for a new team or just be honest and tell the coach, if she's not good enough to play at least a fair amount, then she does not belong on the team. Soccer is incredibly subjective. There is no reason a child should be paying for travel and not playing at least half a game.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like travel might not be a good fit for your family if that's how you're thinking.

How badly does your daughter want to play competitively? If she really wants it, reflect with her after games, ask her coach for feedback, and talk honestly with her about steps she can take to improve and get more game time. If she doesn't care that much, MSI Classic or something like that could be better aligned with your goals as a family. Some of the MSI D1 Classic teams are competitive against lower level travel teams, but not nearly as demanding in terms of practice schedule and travel distance.

[Anonymous]

I don't understand why parents put up with this. As a coach, I can tell you that any player on a team U14 and under should get at least one half playing time. They are developing and it is ok for a team to lose a game or two. Unfortunately, you get coaches with high egos and they want to win at all cost (including your kid's playing time, money and development). Always, always do your due diligence before accepting to join a team. Don't be afraid to discuss this with your coach now (in a professional way) so that he/she is aware that you are worried. If it your player continues to not get playing time, brining it up to the Director. There are plenty of clubs in the DMV for your player.

Note - At U15 and up it is when the best players get the most playing time. Developmental stage is still active but winning is more important now.

Good luck and sorry to hear you wasted your whole weekend just to go see your team play and your player be an spectator too. This is not health for players U14 and under. They start to question their soccer abilities, skills and self confidence. Not healthy and a good coach knows that very well. There are many bad coaches here. There are many good coaches too. Just find the right one for your player. Ask many questions, before you commit to a team.

[Anonymous]

Straight out of the money manifesto. Americans are fleeced to the fullest. Especially by foreign coaches.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Note - At U15 and up it is when the best players get the most playing time. Developmental stage is still active but winning is more important now.

But if coach not going to play kid more than 10 minutes, why accept them on team?

[Anonymous]

For anyone who successfully discussed playing time with coach, what approach worked best?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:New to travel DD is 2012 team.
Tournament this past weekend and she had limited playing time. Sunday was 7 mins total.
I don’t want to be that parent approaching the coach but I also don’t need to waste a weekend day driving DD anywhere from 1-2 hours each way for an away game for her to sit on the bench for the majority. If there are 14+ kids going is it ok to not go? Talk to the coach? Or do we suck it up and go?

Don’t some coaches do the 5 minute play time to be able to say played the kid but also give message for kid to leave team? Or is that later in season?

[Anonymous]

This is OP. When she tried out and got on the team I specifically asked if she would be actually playing versus sitting on the bench. The coach said yes she’ll be playing. So I’m feeling a bit duped but it’s only been a tournament so far not regular games so maybe that’s part of it? The first reg game is an away game and going to that for her to sit most of it is whats bothering me. I’m just not sure whether to be quiet for now, or say something.

[Anonymous]

Are we talking ECNL or GA team?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. When she tried out and got on the team I specifically asked if she would be actually playing versus sitting on the bench. The coach said yes she’ll be playing. So I’m feeling a bit duped but it’s only been a tournament so far not regular games so maybe that’s part of it? The first reg game is an away game and going to that for her to sit most of it is whats bothering me. I’m just not sure whether to be quiet for now, or say something.

OP, I would have a two-pronged approach. To your dd, I'd emphasize that supporting your team is part of the game and that working harder/improving will likely lead to more minutes. To the coach, I'd enquire about their philosophy about game minutes, gently ask if there are things she could do to get more playing time, and ask the coach for a heads up if they don't think dd is going to play much so that you can either skip or send her with another family who can do the driving.

But once you get their philosophy -- one that you do or don't agree with -- you will know where you stand and can make decisions as to stay or go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. When she tried out and got on the team I specifically asked if she would be actually playing versus sitting on the bench. The coach said yes she’ll be playing. So I’m feeling a bit duped but it’s only been a tournament so far not regular games so maybe that’s part of it? The first reg game is an away game and going to that for her to sit most of it is whats bothering me. I’m just not sure whether to be quiet for now, or say something.

OP, I would have a two-pronged approach. To your dd, I'd emphasize that supporting your team is part of the game and that working harder/improving will likely lead to more minutes. To the coach, I'd enquire about their philosophy about game minutes, gently ask if there are things she could do to get more playing time, and ask the coach for a heads up if they don't think dd is going to play much so that you can either skip or send her with another family who can do the driving.

But once you get their philosophy -- one that you do or don't agree with -- you will know where you stand and can make decisions as to stay or go.

This is helpful, thank you.