Just super down

[Anonymous]

It’s my birthday. I have never been someone who expects people to make a big deal over my birthday so I’m not sure why this is hitting me so hard but today just stinks. My kids have come a long way but thing thing that’s still miserable is how much they fight with each other. My husband has been working constantly so I have really struggled to get 1:1 time with either of them and so they are worse than usual from being together every waking moment they don’t have an activity. I know the both love me and want me to be happy but they have just been so awful today. I have already dealt with one meltdown and mad everyone go inside because I couldn’t handle the public humiliation of how horribly they were behaving in front of our neighbors.

To some extent I know this is normal and they can’t really help it but they definitely have been better than this in the past. My husband is the opposite of helpful. I’m hiding in my home office to try and pull myself together because I know my younger one in particular desperately wants me to have a good birthday. So I will try to pretend later so they aren’t sad. Just so tired of feeling like a failure and just embarrassed down to my bones in public and feeling like I never want to leave my house again.

[Anonymous]

So sorry! Siblings Without Rivalry was a pivotal book for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So sorry! Siblings Without Rivalry was a pivotal book for me.

Really? Do you have SN kids? I have read it and found it entirely unhelpful, though I guess that was a couple years ago. I guess I could try it again-OP

[Anonymous]

Yes, both are. Recognizing them individually, not comparing and making sure each bucket is full. Monumental changes in our house especially with incorporating 1:1 time w/ each kid.

[Anonymous]

Dear OP, I’m so sorry to hear this. My birthday was yesterday and it was also just dreadful for similar reasons. Like really, really terrible. Like I cried multiple times and I rarely cry. I was like can’t you even behave for one day? But no….

[Anonymous]

You’re not a failure!!!
Who cares what the neighbors think??
I truly hope you found some genuine joy and did not feel you had to fake it.
If not, declare it birthday week and have another go at it. Cake every night! Why not?

[Anonymous]

Im so sorry, it can be hard. I’m a single mom with two SN kids, and my birthday didn’t even occur to them, despite me mentioning it the week prior (preteens can be distracted about their perception of time). I felt self-pity for the day and then picked myself up and moved on. My kids are good people, it just happened. And yes, mine fight all the time also… I send them to different floors of the house on weekends, and on weekdays have carefully planned activities for them that ensure minimum interaction. I hope it will get better with age.