Daycare sickness dilemma
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Anonymous
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I had 2 under 2 and had to put both in daycare after I went back to work. Out of the two years, my older one had 8 ear infections and had to have her ear tubes inserted. My younger one went through 3 times of hand foot mouth and what's worse was my husband and I AND my mother got hfm from caring for her. Last but not least, we have experienced almost every child virus including RSV, eczema, diarrhea, fever, stye, pink eye etc etc
Both of them started daycare 6 months and 3 months respectively and we had two very rough winters. Our kids got sent home frequently, and they also got sick from going to daycare at the first place. It seems I'm paying for getting sick myself and inconveniencing myself for having to pick up and caring for sick kids during work days. Guess what? This is our last week with our daycare, and sure enough, both got sent home the exact same afternoon, with the policy of 24-hour fever free, they have to miss tomorrow's school, which means I have to watch my kids and work....... For those looking for daycare options, if possible, home daycare or nanny share is the way to go. Daycare is good for socialization, but the sicknesses never end and daycare will never be clean enough for kids to not get sick. |
Anonymous
| I’m sorry OP, it sucks. I had two in daycare during the COVID years and before rapid testing was widely available we had to keep them home until we got a negative OCR test (which could take days). I still haven’t recovered. But hey it’s your last week!! That’s worth celebrating. |
Anonymous
| Sounds like you had really bad luck. My kids also got sick a lot when they started daycare, but now they don’t get sick very often at all. While parents definitely should be aware that illness at daycare is possible, I wouldn’t make that the main reason for choosing a different type of care unless you have a child who is immunocompromised. We’ve been really happy with our daycare and I would recommend it to anyone. |
Anonymous
| Yeah this is why it's better to be a SAHM or have a nanny!! My children never got sick. |
Anonymous
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With my daughter who was in daycare, she was sick every 2-3 weeks. Like clockwork. Ear infections, flu, hand food and mouth, RSV (twice - so bad it gave her asthma), pneumonia, stomach viruses, roseola, double ear infections. It was the worst few years of my life. I was pumping and she wouldn’t take bottles at daycare or would eat very little and then nurse all night, so I was sleep deprived and depressed being back at work (had to go back at 16 weeks and was not ready, physically or emotionally). The infant room was not quiet or dark like at home so she couldn’t nap there. She came home miserable and exhausted. The workers would send us pictures of her during the day and her eyes looked dead inside. It made me cry sometimes, she just hated it and we could tell. One day I picked her up and a complete stranger was holding her and feeding her and it made me feel like the worst mother in the world. It was terrifying to leave her with a rotating cast of staff who I knew little of, even at an accredited, well reviewed, licensed center that we had been on a waitlist for a year for a slot for (before I got pregnant) and that we had picked after touring 8 other centers, some of which were downright miserable places.
With the illnesses, DH and I fought frequently over who would stay home with her, because both of us had demanding in-person jobs and no family support. The time off caused strain with coworkers who hated picking up the slack and tension with our bosses. It became a huge issue in our marriage and a huge family stressor. Who will take her to the doctor this time, clean up the diarrhea all over the bed, the vomit all over the sheets, force the antibiotics in her that she will fight you on taking, etc. It was all so extremely hard, but it’s what we could afford at the time. I feel strongly that starting her in a center at 16 weeks was a terrible decision for her health and immune system. We eventually switched to a home daycare (another waitlist we had been on but didn’t get into initially) but her immune system was so battered that she was still constantly ill. It continued through early elementary but we would get sometimes 3-4 weeks in between the illnesses. With our second child, we knew we would do whatever we could to keep them out of daycare. I stayed home much longer, and then we used a nanny. We paid through the teeth for a very mediocre nanny, but keeping the second kid out of daycare for 3 years was worth every penny, because his illnesses were less frequent and she could come care for him when he was mildly ill. It picked up in preschool, but was still nowhere near the awful experience with our daughter. I know daycare works for some, but it was awful for our family and speaking honestly, I 10/10 do not recommend to anyone. It’s awful what we ask working families and babies to do for the sake of capitalism. |
Anonymous
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My kid was sick every 3 weeks even with a nanny share … I can’t imagine how much worse it would have been in daycare.
Honestly though childcare for an infant/toddler sucks no matter what. It’s a big reason why I only had 1 kid. A big part of me regrets not quitting work or going PT … but OTOH I got divorced and am now glad I am financially stable. |
Anonymous
| We were sort of forced into a nanny situation due to circumstances out of our control and I’ve never ever regretted it. Huge financial hit compared to what we prepared for, 1000% worth it. Yes kids get sick, but at 3 months is just awful awful awful. |
Anonymous
| Just wanted to say that daycare has been great for us. Babies get sick in every childcare situation. A lot of kids who don’t go to daycare young just get everything in preschool and kindergarten. There’s no right or wrong way but daycare is great for a lot of families. |
Anonymous
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Our family had terrible streaks of illness with daycare. It was awful and the reason we switched to a nanny. Our kids (and us) were immediately much healthier after we quit daycare. It made a tremendous difference.
I do think different daycares are better or worse about cleaning and stopping the spread of illness. Ours was particularly awful and wouldn't call if your kid had a fever, so that meant you didn't have to leave work, but it also meant all the kids were always, always, always sick. |
Anonymous
I really think this is a lie that daycare parents tells themselves. It's not the same. Older kids don't put absolutely everything in their mouths. Older kids know to aim when puking, can blow their noses, and are hardier when sick. Bigger kids can put themselves back to sleep and don't have to be rocked all night. And kids really don't get sick as often in other childcare. Not even close. |
Anonymous
Yes, this. My friends who think this are the ones who dose their kids sick with a fever and send them in, never keep them home with a bad cold, ignore terrible coughs unless the daycare sends them home, and will be out at the park less than a day after their kid was puking. Downplaying illness like that means more workdays and less impact on working parents, but it’s cruel to kids and screws other parents. |
Anonymous
Again, not true but if you need to believe this to defend your own decisions to quit your job, hire a nanny whose on her phone all day, whatever, feel free. I just don’t understand the ongoing need on DCUM to put down daycare but I know that it is great and working for my family. I don’t care if another family wants to do something else but it’s apparently its of desperate importance to others to let me know how negligent, down market, whatever they think my decision is. It doesn’t bother me. Be bothered by your own life. |
Anonymous
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Keep in mind the majority of daycare parents are perfectly happy with it. I wouldn’t make decisions based on the experience of the people who leave.
Each of my kids experienced their most sick days around the age of 1 year to about 16 months. Sick days were rare after that until my older went to kindergarten and caught flu twice in one year. Although this seems like it was a really bad year for flu in general. |
Anonymous
Insecure much? OP is just sharing her own experience with daycare. Glad it worked for your family but it does not work for many , illness being one of the many reasons….. |
Anonymous
| This is such a joke. Do whatever you want for childcare but stop scaring people about daycare under the guise of the kids getting sick. My two are 3.5 and 2, we basically never have to keep the kids home bc they are sick. Your kid sounds weak. |