13yo wants to play a sport but can't find one she likes
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Anonymous
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13yo DD is not all that naturally athletic and has never really been into sports. Has tried various ones in the past, including tennis, cross country, squash, gymnastics, swimming, ice skating... I may be forgetting a couple. Currently plays field hockey but doesn't love it. Also does some rock climbing and wishes she liked it more but keeps at it. All of her friends have at least one sport they are serious about, and she also values fitness and I think just wants to be active in some kind of structured way, but hasn't found her place. Of course many sports are no longer options to start at this age because the kids are so advanced, but I am curious if there are any we might be missing that could be worth a try and that are often initiated more in the teen years, or aren't as competitive.
Any suggestions welcome. I get where she's coming from and want to try to support her, and I think she feels somewhat discouraged that she just can't find an activity she enjoys. |
Anonymous
| Crew? Volleyball? Is she tall, fast? What are her attributes? |
Anonymous
| Maybe a martial art like tae kwon do? |
Anonymous
Her attributes are many in my biased opinion  but not so much in the athletic realm. She is small and light for her age, pretty slender, she does have long arms and legs (proportionally, she's probably around the 20th percentile height wise for her age). I had wondered about track or cross country because I think she is reasonably fast but she just doesn't enjoy running. I think there are ways she likes the spirit of a team but she finds it stressful too. I can see her in more solitary sports in a way. I'd hoped rock climbing would be a hit but I think she just doesn't love it, though doesn't hate it either.
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Anonymous
| Ultimate frisbee is a lot of fun and might suit. Lots of opportunities in the DC area to play. |
Anonymous
In Arlington for example: https://www.yula-ulti.org/middle-school-ultimate |
Anonymous
| Does she care if she's good at it? If not, I think that makes it a lot easier...and it makes sense to pick things that are not team sports so she can just appreciate her own progress without feeling like she's bringing the team down. Possibilities you didn't list include racewalking (usually done on a track team; Potomac Valley Track Club teaches it), archery, fencing, bowling, weight lifting (power or olympic), and speed skating. If her goal is just to be fit, she could hike, bicycle, run, kayak, horseback ride, swim, etc. without doing it through organized sports. Some gyms will let a kid her age work out--many will require a parent to accompany her. Also if she likes a sport but isn't good at it, could she be a scorekeeper, referee, student manager, sportswriter for the school/local newspaper, or something similar? I have friends who became gymnastic judges, softball umpires, and fencing judges...it's possible to do this at the rec level, or to get really into it and wind up judging at the D1 or international level. |
Anonymous
| Wrestling? Growing in popularity for girls. |
Anonymous
| I'd see if she can try crew. Everyone at her age is a beginner, so she's not out of place. If she's small, she could be a coxswain or potentially be in a lightweight boat. |
Anonymous
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My 2 dds (11 and 13) are in a youth bowling league.
This is at Bowlero, but I assume the other bowling allies have too. |
Anonymous
| Coxswain for crew, flag football, or taekwondo |
Anonymous
| She doesn't have to be on a team. She can use a ball machine at a tennis court and take semi-private lessons with a friend around the same level. She can go to public skate hours at an ice skating rink. She can find yoga for teens and take yoga classes. She can go bowling with friends. |
Anonymous
| Rowing |
Anonymous
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Pickleball, softball, fencing (there’s a place in Arlington w/ beginner leasons), try track if she’s only tried cross country? Is she at all into dance? Lots of dance places have intro class for tweens/teens. If she’s at all into dance or gymnastics, she could try beginner cheerleading. She’d be a good flyer. She might be the right build to be a coxswain?
One of my kids had always hated soccer but changed his mind and did rec at 13 & 14. Then he ended up making jv as a freshman. There were other beginners on rec with him. |
Anonymous
| Girls rugby! Ilona Maher is a superstar! |