My best friend is convinced she potty trained her 18months old

[Anonymous]

I watch my best friends son for 2 hours a week so that they her and her DH can attend marriage counseling. I loved watching him but now that she has “potty trained” him all he does is pee/poop on himself the whole time and I am starting to dread it.

He does not talk yet, so I’m supposed to just take him every 20 mins or so but he does not go and then just pees everywhere and sometimes poops as well. I asked her if he does better for her and she said some days he has up to 9-10 accidents but some days a really good and he has only 2.

I asked her if he could use a pull up and she got upset and said that’s against the program that she’s using to potty train him. What do I do?

[Anonymous]

Stop watching him, plain and simple. It is really unfair of your "friend" to do this to you.

[Anonymous]

OMG I would draw a hard line and tell her that I can only watch him again if he wears a pull up. Let her decide. You don't have to explain anything, just say that's your limit and see how she handles it.

[Anonymous]

Is it a time of day he could play in the backyard so at least the pee/poop isn’t all over your house?

Or put pull ups over his underwear so it’s contained?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is to you? My 18 mo was potty trained

Some 18 month olds are. This one isn’t.

[Anonymous]

I'd probably insist on the pull ups/diapers.

A stressful time for the parents is not really a great time to start potty training, especially early. Normally I'd say 18months is okay to start, but not in their circumstances.

You may just need to talk to her calmly bc she may be fixating on potty training bc of other issues in her life. She may not be able to see this, but this worth trying to talk to her and reassure her.

[Anonymous]

Just stop babysitting for her. That's unworkable.

[Anonymous]

“Sure, I’m happy to watch Larlo while you go to counseling. But I can’t do it unless he’s in a diaper or pull-up. Let me know how you want to proceed.”

[Anonymous]

I would NEVER agree to this. You are not a daycare. Her child can wear pull ups for 2 hours and she can still work on potty training at home when her child is with her. To put this burden on you is insane.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I watch my best friends son for 2 hours a week so that they her and her DH can attend marriage counseling. I loved watching him but now that she has “potty trained” him all he does is pee/poop on himself the whole time and I am starting to dread it.

He does not talk yet, so I’m supposed to just take him every 20 mins or so but he does not go and then just pees everywhere and sometimes poops as well. I asked her if he does better for her and she said some days he has up to 9-10 accidents but some days a really good and he has only 2.

I asked her if he could use a pull up and she got upset and said that’s against the program that she’s using to potty train him. What do I do?

You say you can't watch him unless he's wearing a pull-up.

[Anonymous]

If you don’t feel comfortable telling her you won’t watch him anymore without the pull-up, I would just put a diaper on him under the underwear while he’s over, then undo the tabs and slip it off before he goes home. This child doesn’t sound ready for potty training at all, it sounds like elimination communication if anything. I had a kid that potty trained themselves at that age but they told me they wanted to after seeing older siblings, I just noticed their diapers were never wet and they always went on the potty so I stopped buying them.

[Anonymous]

He is not potty trained. Kids who can tell when they need to go, and can hold it until the 2 min to get to toilet are potty trained. He is not.

[Anonymous]

Is it your house or hers? I’d refuse to let that baby inside my house without a diaper on. If it’s her house, let him sit in pee and poop for the two hours a week until she’s home. It’s not going to kill him if it’s only once a week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:“Sure, I’m happy to watch Larlo while you go to counseling. But I can’t do it unless he’s in a diaper or pull-up. Let me know how you want to proceed.”

Basically this.

[Anonymous]

I agree with the above advice about setting a boundary with the pull up. I am sure she is just overwhelmed and wasn't thinking straight when you brought it up the first time. You're a good friend.