Does everyone have a family member who stresses them out?

[Anonymous]

I have a bipolar brother who has always been difficult. Now we have elderly parents who need care and dealing with both my brother and parents have been extremely stressful. I have my own three kids to take care of and my parents and brother are much more work. My parents and brother are 100% dependent on me.

A friend told me every family has someone in their family who has hurt them or causes them great stress whether it is betrayal, abandonment, special needs, disability, substance abuse, etc.

Do you have a family member who causes you great stress?

I wonder what it would be like to have family who can actually be helpful and pleasant.

[Anonymous]

Yes. In any group of 5 or more humans there's going to be problems, statistically speaking.

[Anonymous]

Yes. One of our kids is just very very difficult.

[Anonymous]

Yes, situation with 2 brothers now. It’s exhausting but we do the best we can.

[Anonymous]

You must not have ever met my SIL.

HER life is perfect. Her family of origin is supportive, loving and perfect. Her marriage is romantic, inspiring (her words) and perfect. Her children are magical (her words). Her entire life is #blessed (her post from the most recent social media vacation pic her parents paid for)

But let's get real. It's all fake.

Life is challenging, for some more than others, and we all need to give each other a little grace. I sympathize and empathize with you more than you know.

[Anonymous]

Yes.

[Anonymous]

I have four siblings and the only one who doesn't stress me out is the one who lives across the country and doesn't communicate with anyone. Sometimes I look at other families and am envious of the bonds they have. Caring for elderly parents doesn't help the cause at all.

[Anonymous]

Yes, my husband. He occasionally has explosive anger episodes. He refuses to acknowledge he has a problem, and thinks it's always someone else's fault (usually mine) for provoking him.

Sigh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, my husband. He occasionally has explosive anger episodes. He refuses to acknowledge he has a problem, and thinks it's always someone else's fault (usually mine) for provoking him.

Sigh.

Sorry. My dad was like this, and my brother is like this now.

[Anonymous]

Yes, my mother. She has a paranoia where she thinks everyone is out to get her personally. Everything from Comcast, banks, airlines, family members, cleaning people, etc. She has burned many bridges as a result. It is exhausting.

[Anonymous]

Ugh, so sorry OP, and yes, I can emphathize. I have an older brother, my only sibling, who is bipolar. He was manic, psychotic, delusional- you name it— for years, including while our parents were dying. He lived with them, supposedly caring for them, but truly making everything worse. He is only now waking up and taking the steps to get better and turn his life around, going to a psychiatrist to get diagnosed for the first time, and taking meds. I’m relieved, but also sad this enlightenment didn’t come when our parents were still alive. But I am not holding my breath. He’s thrown a ton of money down the drain, turned my hair white, and ruined his relationships with my kids and husband.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ugh, so sorry OP, and yes, I can emphathize. I have an older brother, my only sibling, who is bipolar. He was manic, psychotic, delusional- you name it— for years, including while our parents were dying. He lived with them, supposedly caring for them, but truly making everything worse. He is only now waking up and taking the steps to get better and turn his life around, going to a psychiatrist to get diagnosed for the first time, and taking meds. I’m relieved, but also sad this enlightenment didn’t come when our parents were still alive. But I am not holding my breath. He’s thrown a ton of money down the drain, turned my hair white, and ruined his relationships with my kids and husband.

Op here. My brother lives with my parents now. He does help care for them. At the same time makes everything worse. My bipolar brother is much more problematic than my elderly parents. I don’t know what will happen when my parents eventually pass.

DH is supportive but I find myself snapping at him for not being supportive enough and I know that isn’t fair. I feel drained.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ugh, so sorry OP, and yes, I can emphathize. I have an older brother, my only sibling, who is bipolar. He was manic, psychotic, delusional- you name it— for years, including while our parents were dying. He lived with them, supposedly caring for them, but truly making everything worse. He is only now waking up and taking the steps to get better and turn his life around, going to a psychiatrist to get diagnosed for the first time, and taking meds. I’m relieved, but also sad this enlightenment didn’t come when our parents were still alive. But I am not holding my breath. He’s thrown a ton of money down the drain, turned my hair white, and ruined his relationships with my kids and husband.

Op here. My brother lives with my parents now. He does help care for them. At the same time makes everything worse. My bipolar brother is much more problematic than my elderly parents. I don’t know what will happen when my parents eventually pass.

DH is supportive but I find myself snapping at him for not being supportive enough and I know that isn’t fair. I feel drained.

In what ways is your brother problematic? Dealing with similar situation which is why I’m asking. It’s exhausting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ugh, so sorry OP, and yes, I can emphathize. I have an older brother, my only sibling, who is bipolar. He was manic, psychotic, delusional- you name it— for years, including while our parents were dying. He lived with them, supposedly caring for them, but truly making everything worse. He is only now waking up and taking the steps to get better and turn his life around, going to a psychiatrist to get diagnosed for the first time, and taking meds. I’m relieved, but also sad this enlightenment didn’t come when our parents were still alive. But I am not holding my breath. He’s thrown a ton of money down the drain, turned my hair white, and ruined his relationships with my kids and husband.

Op here. My brother lives with my parents now. He does help care for them. At the same time makes everything worse. My bipolar brother is much more problematic than my elderly parents. I don’t know what will happen when my parents eventually pass.

DH is supportive but I find myself snapping at him for not being supportive enough and I know that isn’t fair. I feel drained.

In what ways is your brother problematic? Dealing with similar situation which is why I’m asking. It’s exhausting.

He yells a lot. He is manic when he is off his meds. He was recently hospitalized and now on too many meds that he is depressed and lethargic. My dad needs care around the clock and my mom has her own health issues and weak. He causes great stress to our entire family.

He has good days and bad days. My dad’s deteriorating health has been a trigger and now it feels like everyday is a bad day.