Help me work out the pros and cons on this job change

[Anonymous]

I keep going back and forth on this on my own, with my spouse, and with other people I know, and just can't decide. Hoping the various opinions on this website might help me figure it out. Feel free to be as blunt and honest as you want! Here's the scenario:

I currently have an ultra-flexible part time job. I'm technically an independent contractor which means I set my own hours, can work where and when I want, and can even turn down offered work if I need to. The downside is that my income and hours fluctuate. Some months I barely have any work and I might make just 1-2k. Other months I'm very busy and can make as much as 6-7k, while still only working part-time (usually less than 20 hours, I only have a handful of 20+ hour weeks a year).

I took this job when my kids were really young, around the time Covid started, and it was a godsend. It enabled me to work in my industry, bring in money (usually between 25-35k per year) while also not having to pay for full time childcare at a time when childcare was really annoying and hard to find. Obviously we are well beyond Covid now and my kids are in school, but the flexibility continues to come in handy, especially in the summer but really all year. We have no nearby family and my spouse travels a lot for work. So I've continued to take the tradeoff of pretty low overall pay (though my hourly rate is actually pretty high, so I'm really getting bang for my buck in terms the work I put in) for maximum flexibility and a ton of independence.

However, I'd love to make more money. I've turned down a few full time jobs (making between 180-200k) after much discussion with my spouse, because of the stress it would put on my family. Some of the jobs involve travel and we just have no idea how we would handle that even with all the extra income because my spouse also travels -- it just sounds very stressful. One of the jobs I've been offered was no travel but is similar to what I did before having kids and it's incredibly stressful, involves managing a global team which means checking email 18-20 hours a day and having to stay in touch during vacations. So I've turned these offers down. But I still fantasize about having a more regular job and making more money.

I was recently semi-offered (not a firm offer but if I went through the application process my odds of getting it are close to 100%) a job at a prior employer. It would pay somewhere between 90 and 120k and it is a very chill job. No travel at all except maybe one conference a year that we could plan well in advance for. I could work from home 2-3 days a week. And not super stressful. Lots of deadlines but short turn arounds on small projects. And like now, I'd be a solo contributor so I wouldn't manage anyone or need to be on call during off hours.

I cannot decide whether this would be a good move or not. In terms of title and the work I would do, it is actually kind of a step down from my current job, and it locks me into a standard work schedule and will force me to change how my family operates as a result. However it's 3-4x what I currently make, without having to take a super stressful job. It's just a regular 9-5 and it has a lot of WFH at a time when that can be harder to find.

I see the pluses. I see the minuses. I can't decide. My spouse and I have gone round in circles on it -- one day he's all for it and the next day he's got reservations, and I'm the same.

WWYD??

[Anonymous]

Honestly, it depends on how strong your marriage is, how much money your husband makes, how old your kids are, and whether you could pick up your part-time contract work if you decide the full-time job isn’t working out. Your age is also a factor if you think there might be a window of time beyond which you’re not going to be employable anymore.

[Anonymous]

Agree we need more info about HH, mortgage, expenses, spouse job security, etc. But based on what you posted the new job sounds low key enough that you wouldn't be hugely impacted. Personally I would take it unless your DH is already making millions and/or you have a child with special needs.

[Anonymous]

Op here. Good questions. Details are complicated.

DH does well, we could live on his income alone but the money I bring in helps us pad out retirement and college savings. We're not rich but we have enough.

The extra money would go towards my retirement (would be nice to be able to contribute to a 401k again after being self-employed for so long, I miss the simplicity of that). Also a good chunk of it would go towards outsourcing things I currently do -- we'd do weekly cleaners, spend a lot more on childcare especially in the summer, probably outsource more meals. Otherwise, the additional income would just go into ordinary savings or some investment vehicles. It would not be transformational for us now or in retirement. Just nice to have.

One of our kids has autism, which has been a major reason I've stayed part time so long. We are in a really good place with it right now though, and have seen some major leaps in independence in the last year, plus got her into a new school that has better support for her. That's what has made it possible for me to feel like I could take a full time job, and that's also a major part of why I've turned down these offers for higher paying jobs -- I want to keep things fairly simple and easy where I can. But this new job opportunity feels about as simple and easy as you can get while still being full time.

[Anonymous]

OP again, answering more questions.

I'm 45, DH is 47. We plan to retire in our late 50s and are on target for that. I could actually see continuing to work after DH retires in my current job, because it's so flexible. I could do this forever, basically.

But I don't think it would be easy to get a gig like this again if I took this other job and it didn't work out. Potentially, there are a number of firms who need the kind of work I do and there are only so many people who do it. But it would be very subject to timing and there is zero guarantee I'd be able to find something like this again.

[Anonymous]

I’m someone who just downshifted and am LOVING having the flexibility of not having a structured 9-5 I’m expected to be at 5 days a week. Truly can’t express how magical this summer has been with my kids compared to the normal summer camp full time two parent working shuffle so, keep that in mind as I answer.

But if this would just be extra padding and you’re already on track to retire in your late 50s I would probably stay put. But this is totally a personality thing. I greatly greatly appreciate flexibility and control over my day and time. Also remember that working full time costs money. Like you said you’d be putting some of those costs into more care for your kids, cleaning people, commuting costs a couple days a week, likely lunches at work some, wear and tear on a car, etc etc. It’s a big pay increase for sure but also, dang with a traveling spouse the flexibility you have is pretty great.

That being said if mentally you really need the change and you see yourself wanting to go full time for sure as your kids get older than go for it. But it sounds like this could be a great thing to do in early retirement, continues to bring some padding for you all, allow you some mental stimulation without a lot of hours, give you family the time and attention it needs. That’s what most of us want. It’s hard not to try to optimize but you seem pretty optimized.

[Anonymous]

Also I would try to answer these questions for yourself: how do you want to be spending your time? You could probably do some math if you’re that kind of person on like hourly rate at this new gig and your current one and then the value you are providing your family. What does your family value most? More comfortable retirement later or more comfortable and flexible schedule now? How will this impact the kids in terms of time at home vs aftercare, time in camps etc (how much will you need to invest financially in these things). As the person that downshifted when we had these convos we realized that we valued flexibility to a huge extent in our family. We want to be able to spend a few weeks up north in the summer for example. We value time at home for our kids. Probably more than many families and that isnt a right or wrong - there are lots of ways to make up a family and raise great kids, you have to figure out what are the foundational values for you. Then try to build your life from there and make decisions from there. Made it a little easier for me. There isn’t a right decision here and another opportunity will probably come.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Also I would try to answer these questions for yourself: how do you want to be spending your time? You could probably do some math if you’re that kind of person on like hourly rate at this new gig and your current one and then the value you are providing your family. What does your family value most? More comfortable retirement later or more comfortable and flexible schedule now? How will this impact the kids in terms of time at home vs aftercare, time in camps etc (how much will you need to invest financially in these things). As the person that downshifted when we had these convos we realized that we valued flexibility to a huge extent in our family. We want to be able to spend a few weeks up north in the summer for example. We value time at home for our kids. Probably more than many families and that isnt a right or wrong - there are lots of ways to make up a family and raise great kids, you have to figure out what are the foundational values for you. Then try to build your life from there and make decisions from there. Made it a little easier for me. There isn’t a right decision here and another opportunity will probably come.

OP here. I really appreciate this. I've run the numbers and yes I'd be taking a huge hourly paycut if I take this job (from $95/hr to about half that). I do really value flexibility and time with my kids -- the only reason I'm even considering this job is because it's fairly flexible for a 9-5 job, with the WFH option and not a super high level of responsibility. But obviously my current job is maximally flexible and we really lean on that flexibility, especially in the summer and around holidays. We basically never have to scramble for childcare because I can almost always shift my working hours to the evening or weekend, so a sudden illness or last minute schedule change just doesn't phase us. We can also do things like go visit my ILs for a couple weeks but I will work while I'm there and DH spends time with the kids and his family, and it's a very easy for us to fit in everything we want to fit in without having to stress about vacation time or childcare. We would be giving up that.

I agree there isn't a wrong answer here and it's good to remember that this isn't my last chance to change jobs, I can stay where I am and then make another decision next year or the year after that and not really have given up too much.

I do sometimes get paranoid as 50 approaches, and wonder if opportunities like this will dry up at that point? This isn't some high paying c-suite job, though. Could I get a regular 9-5 with a decent but not spectacular salary in my 50s if I wanted? I truly have no idea.

[Anonymous]

Pp here (so same person and perspective but just seeing your update!). What you have seems incredibly ideal and it’s hard to imagine you wouldn’t miss that flexibility after having it so many years especially with a traveling spouse. Is there any possibility to ramp up the amount of contract work you receive in the future? It seems like your biggest hold up about this is making more. To make more in this position you’d need more projects - is that out of your control completely? Just wondering if there is any medium here where you keep this but increase your hours when you want to but I would assume you thought of that and it’s not something you can really control.

The concern about 50+ makes sense though you’re not saying you’re going to want some crazy high six figure role and you seem to have experience people are looking for if you wanted to make a shift but of course I’m a random person on dcum without full info

[Anonymous]

Make a list of pluses and minuses. Try ChatGPT to iterate and brainstorm.

[Anonymous]

In my experience, if a new opportunity didn't set your world on fire and involved such complicated analysis, don't do it. It's just work.

[Anonymous]

Do both?

[Anonymous]

Omg keep the flexibility. Try to say yes to more projects and raise your rates. Or set yourself up as an LLC or something so if you are still feeling like you want more in a few years you can hire an assistant.

I have turned down so many things to keep my flexibility and I am taking 4 weeks completely off with my kids this summer. I would pay so much for that.

I have so much respect for independent contractors and people who are their own business. It’s so cool.