Coming to terms with the loneliness?
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
|
For the past year my husband has been working an overnight rotation. We thought we could see the finish line, but then his schedule was extended for another six months, possibly longer. If this position becomes permanent, which it might, the schedule could also become permanent.
*Before someone suggests it, we moved here for this position and there’s no easy way for him to quit or find new employment. His days off aren’t much better. The first day off is pretty much a wash because he sleeps half the day, especially if they fall on a weekend and I’m home. He also tends to stay on a similar sleep schedule, staying up later than me and sleeping in later than me. In the beginning I embraced the quiet of the house at night alone. I cooked what I wanted, binge watched all the things I wanted, found hobbies, joined a book club. But you still come home to an empty house, and it’s becoming lonely; more lonely than I anticipated. I miss evening companionship. My bed is beginning to feel too empty. I realize this all sounds melodramatic, like, people have real issues. But I feel how I feel and I’m looking for suggestions from anyone who might have similar experience, people whose spouses also work nights, or travel, or are away for some other reason. How do you cope with the loneliness and lack of companionship in the evenings? |
Anonymous
|
Get a hot water bottle for winter. When I sleep with one it reminds me of napping with a toddler and puts me right to sleep. The cozy warmth effect is quite pleasant.
I recommend the Fashy water bottle (German) from Amazon and filling it with your hottest tap water. Don't bother boiling water. |
Anonymous
| This is what dogs were made for. Get a bigger one you need to walk in the evenings who will give you some socialization with neighbors and local business owners then spend the night with you streaming and curling up in bed. |
Anonymous
| I would not be able to live in this situation long term. He needs to 1) talk to his boss about this schedule and change it 2) find new employment or 3) you divorce. |
Anonymous
+1 |
Anonymous
| WTF to the two people that suggested a water bottle and a dog. Are you serious? She wants her husband not a replacement of him. OP, this is not sustainable for a relationship. You both need to sit down and figure out alternative jobs or schedules. |
Anonymous
|
My friend had a similar schedule as an ER weekend night nurse. Her schedule made her a vampire not only on the nights she worked, but also when she didn't, as her sleep schedule couldn't just be suddenly reversed. It completely impacted her social life and several years into it, her health as she just couldn't get on a good eating/sleeping/exercise schedule. She finally switched jobs and works during normal hours after some pretty significant medical conditions and finally a scare that put her in the hospital.
If your DH is in the medical field, it will eventually end, and he'll have more flexibility to choose his schedule if he's doing residency, fellowship, etc. It might be helpful to know what line of work he is in... |
Anonymous
I had only one small helpful hint to offer. Sometimes big problems can be patched temporarily with some small fixes. You'd be surprised how a comfort item can help. That's why stuffies work for little kids. WTF DCUMers who can't handle anything less than a miracle solution without rudely attacking other people. "Have a great day, lol!" |
Anonymous
I thought the same exact thing 🥴🥴 |
Anonymous
More useful than writing "Sorry for your loss (of companionship). Or picking on other posters. |