Hostess Gift

[Anonymous]

Had argument w DD about bringing gift to college friend’s house this weekend. I think it’s ill-mannered and rude not to bring something. She thinks it’s just my opinion. I feel I didn’t pass on values well enough.

[Anonymous]

I think if your child is a polite guest than it will be fine.

Hostess gifts are nice, but there are several other things that go into being a good guest that are more important. Not making a mess, being respectful of house rules, speaking politely with friend's parents, etc.

People generally want less stuff/clutter in their house, have dietary restrictions that make food gifts difficult etc. I don't think hostess gifts are as important as they used to be.

[Anonymous]

She probably won't leave a thank you note or email either, huh.

[Anonymous]

I would laugh w her about it and say yes, I am old fashioned and just do it for me…bring a nice consumable

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would laugh w her about it and say yes, I am old fashioned and just do it for me…bring a nice consumable

She said I got irate. Maybe I did. It is the way I was raised. I wouldn’t think twice. I would definitely bring a gift. Maybe I should have bought. We have a great cake at a local bakery, but she didn’t want to drag on train.

[Anonymous]

I don't expect my children's college friends to bring any gift. Most are short on money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She probably won't leave a thank you note or email either, huh.

She can act respectful of house rules and be polite. That's enough and verbally thank them in a sincere manner at arrival and departure, that's good enough.

[Anonymous]

If she’s staying w her college friend at the clllege friend’s parents’ house, then send her with something. If it’s just her college friend’s apartment, then that’s maybe okay - trust that your daughter knows their relationship dynamic and what’s expected. I don’t think it would be so crazy for your daughter to bring a bottle of wine, a nice box of herbal tea, a little bit of chocolate or something else that’s thoughtful and really not that hard to tuck into a bag for the train

[Anonymous]

If she says thank you and clears he plate and offers to clean dishes or load the dishwasher or walk the dog or something along those lines, I think she will be fine. I wouldn't care.

[Anonymous]

I even bring host/hostess gifts to my OWN parents when I visit them. 😁 It might be a bottle of wine, a personalized tea towel with some nice teas (they love tea), pastries, nice candies, etc., but its always something!

[Anonymous]

It’s ok to send something afterwards too, with a note. Flowers etc.

[Anonymous]

Mine would WANT to bring a gift and would have spent time thinking about it. You raised your child poorly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mine would WANT to bring a gift and would have spent time thinking about it. You raised your child poorly.

I didn’t actually. I’ve always modeled very thoughtful guest behavior and arrived w food to friend’s beach house in high school. And made her write thank yous etc. You don’t know me to judge/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mine would WANT to bring a gift and would have spent time thinking about it. You raised your child poorly.

I didn’t actually. I’ve always modeled very thoughtful guest behavior and arrived w food to friend’s beach house in high school. And made her write thank yous etc. You don’t know me to judge/

Same. I'm always giving gifts and dressing properly but kids are casual about these things. They are nice and polite so at least there is some consolation for the hosts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mine would WANT to bring a gift and would have spent time thinking about it. You raised your child poorly.

Your parents raised you poorly.