Needed: EXCELLENT Psychiatrist!

[Anonymous]

I need someone to recommend an EXCELLENT psychiatrist. My DH and I have been to therapy but have gotten nowhere because the therapist have both said that DH needs medication. He suffers from very bad depression (he's great one day, horrible the next) and clearly needs medication. We have private insurance and must use someone who accepts insurance because our co-pays are high and I can't pay out of pocket in hopes of getting reimbursed. I've always been an anti-med person, so I want someone who is compassionate and caring.

[Anonymous]

PP here. Forgot to mention we live in VA.

[Anonymous]

To get a very good one, you might have to pay out of pocket.

[Anonymous]

If you have a therapist, ask that person for referrals. Or ask your primary care doc.

[Anonymous]

I'd recommend Constance Dunlap -- 2440 M St NW. SHe is compassionate and caring, but does not accept insurance. I agree with PP, IME many therapists don't accept insurance, you may have to pay out of pocket and seek reimbursement if you can.

One more thought, and forgive me please if I seem presumptuous, but from what you've posted here (and I fully recognize that there's more to the story) it seems like you're doing a bit of doctor shopping? Excellence in a medical professional = coming up with the appropriate diagnosis and treatment, in a manner that promotes an appropriate therapist-patient relationship. It doesn't mean proposing only those therapies that you the patient agree with. You describe yourself as anti-med, but what about your husband? Is he anti-med too? If two therapists already have suggested that he try anti-depressants, then you shouldn't be surprised if a third does as well. It's not necessarily a measure of the doctor's excellence, rather of your husband's illness, that's at work here.

I'm so sorry that you're having a hard time (I'm married to an untreated depressive possibly bi-polar man, so I know it's not easy.)

Take care.

[Anonymous]

OP here. To the PP, my husband was diagnosed as being bipolar but that was at least 8 years ago. He has moved 2 more times since he saw that therapist. He has had his ups and downs and is currently at a low point in his life. While I've always been against meds, he has been as well but we've been come to the agreement that something has to give and the meds are worth a try. I do think that some doctors overprescribe meds for their financial gain and that some diseases, such as depression, are diagnosed too often. However, we're now willing for my husband to try medication because I see no other options left. If you don't mind, can you tell me what has helped your husband w/out meds?

[Anonymous]

I have serious depression that runs in my family. When I was a teenager my father hung himself from a cieling fan. He was bi-polar (we think), but refused meds. I would like to think that if my father had complied with congnative combined with prescription thearapy he would still be here today. I whole heartedly agree that meds are WAYYYY over prescribed-there is a huge difference between being depressed over something and being depressed all the time over just being alive. A lot of people screw their lives up and then get depressed about the mess they've made and then pop a pill to make it better.

My sister inherited the depression from him and she has had a terrible time since her early 20's and has been on and off meds. Its like one big experiment trying to find a med that works best because the doctors really don't know how these thinks work. Right now my sister is on a "high" and has been as such since February. She has been exercising religiously, eats a very healthy diet of no processed foods and little animal protien/fats, meditates, does not drink-at all, and keeps a regular sleep/wake up schedule. She has to live a very controled life to maintain. However, given her history, I am just waiting for another "low" spell where we will all be in pins and needles watching her suffer terribly. She normally will not take meds because she obsesses about them when she's on them. When I say obsesses, I mean OBSESSES, but that's a whole nother story...

All I can do is echo what some PPs said. Good doctors in the mental health field normally will not take insurance. Sadly insurance companies have cracked away at doctors ability to make a living for their higly skilled and schooled expertise and I'm afraid that in the future this may become mainstream practice for all specialized healthcare providers if the insurance companies keep the current status quo.

[Anonymous]

check out washingtonian.com- and search psychiatrists- you can also subscribe for checkpoint.com- reviewed by dr's- worth it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. To the PP, my husband was diagnosed as being bipolar but that was at least 8 years ago. He has moved 2 more times since he saw that therapist. He has had his ups and downs and is currently at a low point in his life. While I've always been against meds, he has been as well but we've been come to the agreement that something has to give and the meds are worth a try. I do think that some doctors overprescribe meds for their financial gain and that some diseases, such as depression, are diagnosed too often. However, we're now willing for my husband to try medication because I see no other options left. If you don't mind, can you tell me what has helped your husband w/out meds?

Hey OP, 19:54 PP here. Please accept my apologies for the doctor shopping observation, I'm now clear that there was a bunch of time btwn each of those prior diagnoses. I get it now.

As for what has helped my husband, um, nothing. To illustrate my point -- I had typed two earlier responses to you, one that was lost when he pulled the cord from my laptop in a manic paranoid rage, and one that was lost when I backed out of the page, for fear that he would read what I had typed. (He's obsessed with the idea that I will leave him for someone who makes more money than he and that I communicate with that person over the Internet, among other things. Nevermind that he has all of my passwords and can check my email as often as he likes. He doesn't realize that I will leave him just to be able to get a good night's sleep again.) I've tried everything I can think of, and he's now aware of the impact that his behavior has on me and his daughter, but he can't seem to stop himself, which only makes him feel more like shit, which only fuels more rage and lashing out at me. Nice circular thing, that.

Needless to say, he woke the baby with tonight's rage, and I spent a bunch of time getting her back to sleep after he finally stormed out. This response is much shorter tham the prior posts, mostly because I ain't got it in me to recreate them, but: GET HIM TO A DOCTOR, GET TREATMENT. NOW. Before you're the one being kept awake until 6 am by someone in a manic rage.

Another thought, try the Women's Ctr in VA, Fairfax, I think. They offer sliding scale counseling services and referrals. At least they could point you in the right direction.

Take care.

[Anonymous]

I'm a shrink and I agree that there's a great deal of overmedicating, but with bipolar disorder the need for meds is usually clear. Try Liza Gold, MD in VA. She's excellent.

[Anonymous]

19:54 and 00:05, it sounds like you recognize you and your child may be in serious, serious danger. Your husband is engaging in classic abusive behavior which frequently escalates and escalates.

If this doesn't resonate with you, forgive me for being so pushy, but . . . please learn more about your risks and safety planning by calling Women Empowered Against Violence in DC 202-452-9550, or the Women's Center in Fairfax VA (which you recommended to OP). Tel. is 703-281-2657. Women's Center has a domestic violence program described on their website as follows:

Domestic Abuse programs provide support, education, safety planning, court accompaniment, and resource information for victims of domestic violence. The Center also maintains an attorney referral network, provides a variety of training programs, and has an on-site multilingual resource room and system advocates to assist individuals and their families.

Good luck.

[Anonymous]

00:05 poster- thanks for your post. It must be very difficult to live with your husband. My husband sounds a lot like yours. My husband never monitors my computer use or has ever asked for my passwords, but he has woken me up in a rage when something wasn't going his way. Dealing with my husband is worse than dealing with a kid throwing a temper tantrum. I completely know where you're coming from and what you're dealing with. My husband has agreed to see a psychiatrist and I told him I would get him an appointment ASAP so I have some hope. Is your husband completely opposed to seeing a psychiatrist and/or taking meds?

[Anonymous]

00:05 poster here. Thank you ladies, for your sympathy and concern. OP, my husband isn't opposed to the idea of therapy and medication, in theory at least. But we have no medical insurance and a smaller than shoestring budget right now. I'm working on finding a job (am at home currently) in my old line of work that will give us benefits and some more $$, but without having to work 80 hr weeks again. So we'll see what his tune is when the financial obstacles have been removed.

Sorry to have sort of hijacked your thread, but it did feel really good to get that off my chest. Thanks again, and best of everything to you and your DH.

[Anonymous]

PP, would you be comfortable emailing me? This is the OP. I feel so alone and I feel like no one out there feels like me (trapped). I don't need to know your real name or anything specific, I just thought we could email and get some things off our chests.

[bigmaman]

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