Do any of you know parents intimidated by their own children?

[Anonymous]

This dynamic is fascinating to me.

[Anonymous]

As an elementary school principal, I’ve seen a few cases over the years. They’ve typically been with 4th, 5th and 6th graders.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As an elementary school principal, I’ve seen a few cases over the years. They’ve typically been with 4th, 5th and 6th graders.

Can you share specifics/how do you think the dynamic came about?

[Anonymous]

Intimidated in what way?

My youngest teen is gifted and has benefited from her older siblings to achieve stratospheric levels of snark and sardonic humor at a younger age. She uses her quick wits to run dialectical rings around everyone in the family. I confess she intimidates me sometimes. I hope she uses her powers for good. Deep down, she's a kind-hearted person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As an elementary school principal, I’ve seen a few cases over the years. They’ve typically been with 4th, 5th and 6th graders.

Can you share specifics/how do you think the dynamic came about?

Parents insecure in their skills as parents and really as people. Kid has shown some volatility, aggressive and/or maladaptive behavior, and parents think they can manage it by keeping the kid happy. If the kid doesn’t get upset, then they don’t have to deal with the aggression. By 5th grade, the kid is upping the ante.

[Anonymous]

My mom was. Kind of still is. I feel bad for her, but there’s nothing I can do about it—her parents convinced her that she was just not good enough. It’s absurd, but I have no ability to overcome that.

[Anonymous]

There was a point when I was a teenager when my mother mentioned that one time when she was going down the stairs and I was behind her she got scared I was going to push her.

[Anonymous]

I feel this way about our child. She is brilliant, compassionate, and deeply introspective. It's a combination no one in our families seems to have achieved. Parenting her is kind of like being Lois on Family Guy (she is Stewie, but not evil) - we take care of the day to day needs, but there's way more going on in her brain than we can really handle. Still figuring it all out. But I don't think it's a bad thing to be in awe of your kids, as long as you maintain a safe and authoritative (not authoritarian) figure as a parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mom was. Kind of still is. I feel bad for her, but there’s nothing I can do about it—her parents convinced her that she was just not good enough. It’s absurd, but I have no ability to overcome that.

My mom is like this too- mainly with one of my sisters who is very pushy and dominering. My mom lets her walk all over her and make big decisions.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely never.

[Anonymous]

It could be a likely cause of the permissive parenting here in DCUM world, yes. Parents afraid to say no and set boundaries.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It could be a likely cause of the permissive parenting here in DCUM world, yes. Parents afraid to say no and set boundaries.

I'm one of the PPs above who mentioned my mom- the funny thing is my parents were very strict when we were kids, it's been more of an issue when we became adults. She suffers from low self-esteem and honestly I think my domineering sister does too, as is common with bullies in general.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mom was. Kind of still is. I feel bad for her, but there’s nothing I can do about it—her parents convinced her that she was just not good enough. It’s absurd, but I have no ability to overcome that.

Aren’t you a peach.