*rant* What would you do?

[Anonymous]

Are these things,
a) inappropriate on their own
b) inappropriate once added up
c) not inappropriate just weird

when a man calls you princess all the time, when a man walks past you and put his hand on the small of your back, when a man keeps grabbing your hand, when a man simulates oral, when I had to reach as high as I could to take something from the top shelf and then I look back to see him just stand there gawking. When I was brand new there and he literally walked in the womens changing area and was
”waiting for me”.

Sometimes when two other coworkers are there who are close with our boss, he acts with such respect and regard.
So instead of being grossed out I am sad and so angry that the workplace doesn’t think much of me to let him act this way.

I can’t quit because I need the job.

[Anonymous]

You're not clear at all about the nature of your job, but it seems a male is making you uncomfortable there? You have three choices: 1. Tell him to stop it, 2. Tell management and ask them to stop it, or 3. Get another job somewhere else.

I don't doubt you need employment, but I do doubt you're in the only job you could find if you tried; it sounds like you work in a gym or other environment where hiring is probably relatively continuous for most such businesses.

[Anonymous]

Have you ever told him to stop?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have you ever told him to stop?

Yes several times. Now I’ve given up. -op

[Anonymous]

Have you told your boss/his boss? You can’t be sad and angry that this happens if you haven’t told anyone about it.

[Anonymous]

To the person calling me airheaded, the reason why I’m asking if this is inappropriate or just weird is because people have told me I am in fact overreacting.

[Anonymous]

OP, that sucks. The truth is it’s going to be tricky to navigate. Unless you have a really good boss or corporate structure, it may well be that no one will help you. And even if you do, they’ll probably just fire him, and other employees might retaliate.

If you can find another job, that might be the best option.

In the meantime, try to schedule so that you’re not alone with him. I think you could also ask your boss to not work alone with him.

Whenever anything happens, send yourself an email saying what it was and what time. Just the facts. If it ever comes to a conflict, you will be glad to have the records.

[Anonymous]

If someone at work called me a princess I would say "My name is Lauren." If he said it again I'd say "This is sexual harassment, please call me Lauren." If he did it a third time I'd report him.

If a man put his hand on the small of my back at work I'd say "Please don't touch me." If he did it again I'd say "I told you not to touch me. If you do it again this is harassment." If he did it a third time I'd report him.

If a man at work grabbed my hand I'd pull it away and say "Don't touch me." If he did it again I'd report him.

OP, write down dates and times each time something like this happens. Tell the man in clear language to stop. Not, "Um, I actually kind of don't like when you do that ok?" But "Don't touch me." "You may only call me Lauren." Clear language.

[Anonymous]

This sounds like Peggy from “Med Men” wrote this post.

If it’s authentic, OP should quit.

If it’s a play on the show, she should quit -then fall in love with her new boss- hope the new boss goes into business with the old boss- then get dropped by the new boss- remain a steadfast confidante to the old boss- kick ass at her actual job- make friends with one of the senior partners- blend into the buyout in order to succeed- then fall in love with her once-misogynistic co-worker.

And oh yeah, stay fast friends with the princess guy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Are these things,
a) inappropriate on their own
b) inappropriate once added up
c) not inappropriate just weird

when a man calls you princess all the time, when a man walks past you and put his hand on the small of your back, when a man keeps grabbing your hand, when a man simulates oral, when I had to reach as high as I could to take something from the top shelf and then I look back to see him just stand there gawking. When I was brand new there and he literally walked in the womens changing area and was
”waiting for me”.

Sometimes when two other coworkers are there who are close with our boss, he acts with such respect and regard.
So instead of being grossed out I am sad and so angry that the workplace doesn’t think much of me to let him act this way.

I can’t quit because I need the job.

Ugh. Sorry you're going through this, OP.

As a man, non of these are ever acceptable in any circumstance - alone or in aggregate. I'm sorry you feel stuck, but you I would think you have a harassment case if you're so inclined.

[Anonymous]

(d) it’s not “inappropriate.” It’s harassment and unacceptable.

- a man

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If someone at work called me a princess I would say "My name is Lauren." If he said it again I'd say "This is sexual harassment, please call me Lauren." If he did it a third time I'd report him.

If a man put his hand on the small of my back at work I'd say "Please don't touch me." If he did it again I'd say "I told you not to touch me. If you do it again this is harassment." If he did it a third time I'd report him.

If a man at work grabbed my hand I'd pull it away and say "Don't touch me." If he did it again I'd report him.

OP, write down dates and times each time something like this happens. Tell the man in clear language to stop. Not, "Um, I actually kind of don't like when you do that ok?" But "Don't touch me." "You may only call me Lauren." Clear language.

Third time??? Nope. One time. Stop. Report to HR.

[Anonymous]

Report to HR ASAP. And remember that retaliation for a report is also illegal—the company is not allowed to fire, demote, or otherwise punish you for reporting harassing conduct.