Teen daughter got a tattoo

[Anonymous]

DD (16) got a stick-and-poke tattoo from a friend. I'm so angry, I'm shaking. Obviously, this was not done with my permission. It's not in a conspicuous place (it's a rib tattoo -- I only saw it because we were swimming today, and now I'm questioning how long she's had it and been hiding it from me). I'm not a tattoo prude, I myself have my mother's initials tatted on my arm. And it's not a bad tattoo, even; it's of flowers and is surprisingly well-done. But I have always had the rule, NO TATTOOS UNTIL YOU TURN 18. I mean, no one would find this to be unreasonable, right? But she went and did this. I'm definitely going to punish her, I'm mostly just posting so that I can get out my anger and don't go too far.

[Anonymous]

I’d ground her for 2 weeks. No screens, cats, etc. Old school ‘go to your room’ style.

[Anonymous]

Why do you have the rule? Are you just punishing her for disobeying you? I’d say at 16 you should have a better reason than thst.

[Anonymous]

Eh.

[Anonymous]

When you say, “from a friend”, do you mean she did not get tattooed in a tattoo parlor and got tattooed in someone’s basement? If so, I would come down pretty hard. The risk of infection and hep c or worse is reckless behavior apart from her disobeying your explicit instructions to wait until 18.

[Anonymous]

I think you should take her to the doctor and see what she needs to get tested for at this point, after getting a prison style tattoo at someone's home. I too would be concerned about Hep C.

No more going over to others houses if that's what she does there. Getting grounded for just a couple fo weeks isn't going to work.

[Anonymous]

Did you explain to your daughter why no tattoos until she's 18?
Maybe she would have made a wiser decision.


When I was a kid, if the why wasn't explained to me, I often did things to find out what would happen.
So, when my parents said no smoking because it causes cancer, I decided not to smoke - I surely didn't want cancer.
However, when they said "don't stick anything in the outlet" I did it any way because they hadn't told me why. Wish they had. It really hurt when I stuck that paper clip in.

At this point I'd just explain why you didn't want her to get the tattoo (worried about infection or whatever your reasons were) and then punish her for not following home rules.
Since it was an at home tattoo, I'd get her tested for infections.

[Anonymous]

It's done.

[Anonymous]

I would lock her in the basement in chains for the next two years

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you should take her to the doctor and see what she needs to get tested for at this point, after getting a prison style tattoo at someone's home. I too would be concerned about Hep C.

No more going over to others houses if that's what she does there. Getting grounded for just a couple fo weeks isn't going to work.

This. Def get her tested in a few weeks.

[Anonymous]

I mean 16 or 18, it doesn’t really matter. The problem is that it’s stick and poke.

[Anonymous]

My rule is that you have to want the same one for two years without forgetting or changing your mind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would lock her in the basement in chains for the next two years

Calm down Norman Nordstrom.

[Anonymous]

Meh. When she's 18, she will probably get something larger tattooed over it. I agree with being concerned over the health and safety issue of having an amateur do the job. Personally, I wouldn't punish and would just reinforce having it done in a safe environment by a professional.

[Anonymous]

I'm glad she didn't get an infection.

Punishment won't matter if she will go to these lengths to get something you don't want her to have.

It will just make you look weak.

Figure out how to talk to her about safety since she just has to wait you out.