Those who itch to get out more

[Anonymous]

Does anyone as a parent ever feel cooped up in their home? Meaning, you bought a nice home to raise your family and everything is set up for family living but you often get this itchy feeling to get out freely like you did in your 20's. But instead you turn on Netflix and watch a documentary to stay home with your family.

If you have that feeling more than your partner, what did you do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does anyone as a parent ever feel cooped up in their home? Meaning, you bought a nice home to raise your family and everything is set up for family living but you often get this itchy feeling to get out freely like you did in your 20's. But instead you turn on Netflix and watch a documentary to stay home with your family.

If you have that feeling more than your partner, what did you do?

Me!!! I have had this problem since before we had kids. DH was on 80% travel and just wanted to eat at home and relax inside on weekends. I felt jittery and cooped up all the time. I still feel that way, but it was at its worse when my child was toddler-early elementary age.

We recently moved into a larger house, in part because DH is partially WFH and DD needed more space to have friends over. Meanwhile, I'm looking around and wondering why I have to take care of this big house if I'm always at work or hoping to be somewhere more interesting. I'm happiest when we're on vacation in a major walkable city and I can just wake up early and wander while DH and DD sleep in or putter around.

My retirement will be spent in an apartment in NYC.

[Anonymous]

Just go out if you want. Just stay in if you want.

[Anonymous]

My kids are all young adults now, but I was in that position, and I still got out a lot.

I'd just pack a picnic lunch and tell my kids to get in the minivan and we'd set off somewhere for a little hike, or even just go to a far away (like an hour or two drive) playground.
We got a membership at a Science museum that had reciprocal agreements with other science/children's museums and plan day trips around visiting them.
National Park "America the Beautiful" passes are a great deal too--It's $80 for an annual membership and you get in free to National Parks/sites. There are so many within a few hours drive of DC.

I didn't "get out" like I used to in my early 20s--like going to clubs and bars, if that's what you meant though.

[Anonymous]

For me:

Business travel each quarter.
Book club
Run club
Tennis team (super low key)
Monthly happy hour with moms who had summarily aged kids. (Kids did not attend)

Now that ours are older I’m happy being home with a book.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids are all young adults now, but I was in that position, and I still got out a lot.

I'd just pack a picnic lunch and tell my kids to get in the minivan and we'd set off somewhere for a little hike, or even just go to a far away (like an hour or two drive) playground.
We got a membership at a Science museum that had reciprocal agreements with other science/children's museums and plan day trips around visiting them.
National Park "America the Beautiful" passes are a great deal too--It's $80 for an annual membership and you get in free to National Parks/sites. There are so many within a few hours drive of DC.

I didn't "get out" like I used to in my early 20s--like going to clubs and bars, if that's what you meant though.

Any hints on getting the tweens/teens to go along with this? I did this a lot when my kids were younger. We’d pack a picnic to the park, explore trails, creeks or distant playgrounds. Now they’re 11, 13, 15 and generally not interested. One might be but the others want to just stay home. They’re busy during the school year but have a had a pretty chill summer and still don’t want to get out. I still want to though but am struggling with ideas. I know exploring playgrounds are out but trails and chilling at the creek should still be fun!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids are all young adults now, but I was in that position, and I still got out a lot.

I'd just pack a picnic lunch and tell my kids to get in the minivan and we'd set off somewhere for a little hike, or even just go to a far away (like an hour or two drive) playground.
We got a membership at a Science museum that had reciprocal agreements with other science/children's museums and plan day trips around visiting them.
National Park "America the Beautiful" passes are a great deal too--It's $80 for an annual membership and you get in free to National Parks/sites. There are so many within a few hours drive of DC.

I didn't "get out" like I used to in my early 20s--like going to clubs and bars, if that's what you meant though.

Any hints on getting the tweens/teens to go along with this? I did this a lot when my kids were younger. We’d pack a picnic to the park, explore trails, creeks or distant playgrounds. Now they’re 11, 13, 15 and generally not interested. One might be but the others want to just stay home. They’re busy during the school year but have a had a pretty chill summer and still don’t want to get out. I still want to though but am struggling with ideas. I know exploring playgrounds are out but trails and chilling at the creek should still be fun!

+1 I'd like to know too. mine are so happy to be home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does anyone as a parent ever feel cooped up in their home? Meaning, you bought a nice home to raise your family and everything is set up for family living but you often get this itchy feeling to get out freely like you did in your 20's. But instead you turn on Netflix and watch a documentary to stay home with your family.

If you have that feeling more than your partner, what did you do?

Me!!! I have had this problem since before we had kids. DH was on 80% travel and just wanted to eat at home and relax inside on weekends. I felt jittery and cooped up all the time. I still feel that way, but it was at its worse when my child was toddler-early elementary age.

We recently moved into a larger house, in part because DH is partially WFH and DD needed more space to have friends over. Meanwhile, I'm looking around and wondering why I have to take care of this big house if I'm always at work or hoping to be somewhere more interesting. I'm happiest when we're on vacation in a major walkable city and I can just wake up early and wander while DH and DD sleep in or putter around.

My retirement will be spent in an apartment in NYC.

Yes!! exactly, that would be amazing. Living in the burbs is so boring.

[Anonymous]

It was really, really hard when DS was <5.

Now that he's older and voices his own opinion, I just give him options. "I'm going to _________. Do you want to come, or stay home with Dad?" Or if DH wants to come with me, it's "Just a heads up, Saturday morning we are all going to ___________. You can choose how to spend Sunday."

For my mental health, I have to get out and explore and do new things. For DH's, he has to sit at home and do nothing. Neither of us is wrong, but both are miserable doing what the other wants all the time.

[Anonymous]

Yes absolutely. We don't live in the burbs so we don't have much outdoor space and I need to be in green places.

I like go to on an evening run on a creek path near me around 8 PM when the sun is setting and the fireflies are coming out. I also really like running in the city after work around Christmas time when people's lights are up.

In the summer we're at the pool a couple days a week. In spring and fall when it's not raining we do day hikes and weekend camping trips (kids do have to be dragged). I also get pretty into vacation planning.

[Anonymous]

For my mental health, I have to get out and explore and do new things. For DH's, he has to sit at home and do nothing. Neither of us is wrong, but both are miserable doing what the other wants all the time.

Thank you, this helps me understand my situation.

[Anonymous]

Living in the suburbs with school aged children is Hell.

[Anonymous]

For me, it helped to plant a lot of stuff. I have a normal sized suburban yard, but I put in a vegetable garden and a rose garden and a small orchard of semi-dwarf fruit trees.

Not everything worked out, but planning it and doing it and watching things grow really delighted me and made me feel alive in a way that I hadn’t for a long time.

[Anonymous]

I am married with an infant and my husband and I are never leaving downtown DC for exactly this reason. It gives us both peace of mind knowing that we can always walk right outside and get a latte and take a stroll or call a sitter for a night out in our neighborhood. Our condo is small and other costs are high but it’s worth it to us to have the freedom that city life brings. If we move anywhere in the next five years, it will be to Manhattan. The suburbs feel like sacrificing everything just for a little more space.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am married with an infant and my husband and I are never leaving downtown DC for exactly this reason. It gives us both peace of mind knowing that we can always walk right outside and get a latte and take a stroll or call a sitter for a night out in our neighborhood. Our condo is small and other costs are high but it’s worth it to us to have the freedom that city life brings. If we move anywhere in the next five years, it will be to Manhattan. The suburbs feel like sacrificing everything just for a little more space.

+1. We are in DC too and DH is a homebody while I am not.

I do things with my child free friends like dinner out, theater, etc…a few times a month.

I do things with my DS also on the weekends. Today we checked out a not so well known museum that was a gem. We go to festivals, concerts, art workshops, etc…

We also do things with DH as a family like going to a Nats game this weekend.

I’m never leaving the city and DH knew this when we were dating. He would be fine in the burbs. It would be torture for me.

The key also for me is just having 1 child which frees up much more time and not as big a deal for the other parent to watch.