Not sure how to title this.
My 16 year is headed off to a 6 week "camp" for the summer. Camp in quotes because it's mainly an educational program with lots of freedom to explore the nearby tourist town after class and on weekends. Bikes are explicitly allowed. She really wants to join the local gym. She is a regular gym goer and they have a very reasonable student rate, so getting there is the only issue. It's 2 miles from her camp. The first 1.5 miles is through the small town, with plenty of bike lanes. The last 0.5 miles is on a busier, 4 lane road. I called the gym, and it's possible to cross the road at a light just outside town and then proceed on a side walk (either walking or biking on the sidewalk). They warned that you have to be careful at the light and road, as this is a tourist town in summer with lots of drivers unfamiliar with the area I wouldn't call my kid particularly cautious, but she's not particularly daring either. I think she'd roll her eyes at safety warnings but ultimately comply. We let her drive independently, and she's been doing well with that for 6 months. All that being said, would you be comfortable with this? |
Oh! And we are going up to get her settled in, so we can confirm the pathway ourselves. |
Sorry! One last detail. My 85 year old aunt lives in the area. She'd be loaning us the bike. She, herself; has no issue biking in the town but doesn't like the idea of venturing beyond it and certainly not on the highway itself |
Yes. I would be fine with that. It sounds similar to the route my kids ride to school.
Sounds like a great way to get some age appropriate independence. |
I'd ride it a few times with her to test it out before making a decision. |
I just wrote that I think this is fine. But are you referring to the four lane road as “the highway”? Maybe I am imagining it wrong. |
Yes. I have not been there myself, so I'm relying on my aunt and the gym manager to describe. Basically, it's an area in western mass with various small touristy "villages" connected by highways that are 2-4 lanes. The highways are winding, have no bike lanes, and are filled with tourists. An easy no go. The towns themselves are self contained and very bikeable. |
You’re too much of a helicopter parent. Let her be, she can manage a 2 mile bike ride, it’s really odd to jump on forums and ask for advice in this situation and call the gym for advice on crossing the street. It’s a 10 minute bike ride!
My kid is going to school by bike since 2nd grade and I know a girl doing a 7 mile to school trip every day over 4 lane streets. It’s not that big of a deal. General safety is flashing lights for front and back and a high visibility jacket and helmet if you’re worried. |
OP here. Please keep in mind a lot of this is context. We live in an area where she can walk a mile, along busy roads, to a Starbucks or grocery store. Other than that, she regularly drives herself to the gym, school, out with friends. So she has a ton of freedom, just not in this context.I'm sure if we had been gradually loosening the reins on biking I'd be more comfortable with it, but other than bike paths, she doesn't have that much experience biking. |
Honestly, the use of an 85 year old’s bike sounds more dangerous to me than anything else you mentioned. Is it used often and regularly maintained? Or are the tires and brake blocks 10+ years old? Does your child know how to change a flat tire? Stay calm and coast to a stop in case of a malfunction? Put the chain back on? Can you bring your child’s own bike, so the size and fit is comfortable? +1 to front and rear lights and a high vis vest and helmet. |
This is the least of my worries. My husband is a serious biker/bike mechanic. He can easily assess the bike and can even tune it up. My kid can't change a tire, but she doesn't panic when the chain goes off and she can replace it. Plus, this will be tourist town biking. Really slow with lots of stops. She's used to biking on a multiuse path which is much higher speed. And yes. My daughter is really tall and will Be borrowing my late uncles bike. They were not your average elderly couple. Really active and the stuff is very well maintained. |
Oh! And that's just her road biking experience. She's also done a lot of mountain biking. The only new wrinkle in this... which is what makes me nervous... is traffic. |
Yes - I let my son with adhd bike at 12. From North Potomac to Dicks Sporting Goods at Rio. He had to navigate traffic and lights. Giving him responsibility and independence makes him responsible and independent. You might find the same from your daughter |
She's 16. I had a job and often only came home to sleep at night for a few hours at that age. Rest of the time was at school, work, dating, hanging with friends, etc.
Let her grow up. |
You are completely insane.
The reason kids have so much anxiety is because their parents don't give them any leeway to do MILDLY dangerous things to build their confidence. A 16 yr old can go ride a bike and figure it out. Toss her a helmet and move on with life. Surely you see how nuts it is that a teenager who drives has a mommy calling a gym to ask about crossing the street? |