How do you all split costs with extended family?
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Anonymous
| We'll be going on a trip with some in laws (MIL, FIL, SIL, BIL, and their kids). This will be in a city and we plan to meet up to do things together, like museums, dinner, attractions. How do people handle this money wise? I guess museums it is easy for everyone to buy their own tickets but what about dinners? Are you all venmo'ing family members? It seems so messy. |
Anonymous
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My DH bares all costs for his family, obviously makes sense for his parents as he financially supports them fully but for others just because he likes it.
In our family, there is actual immediate split but everyone is cautious to make it up to the person who pays. |
Anonymous
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Just ask for separate checks when you sit down.
"Me, him, and these two kids will be on our bill." |
Anonymous
| *there is no actual immediate split |
Anonymous
| Separate checks with DH’s side of the family, where all siblings are around the same financial level. If we go out with my brother he insists on paying for everyone even when we protest, but he is ridiculously wealthy and likes to treat us to places we could never afford on our own. On both sides the kids will take turns paying for the parents. |
Anonymous
| It’s annoying, especially when someone is entitled and/or struggling. I just started, when ordering, noting our party to the waiter. It was awkward the first time, the second time someone made a passive aggressive joke, and then it was fine by dinner. |
Anonymous
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What is the in laws are rich? Would you expect them to pay?
What if the children are rich(er)? Would you expect them to take care of the bill for the parents? |
Anonymous
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Tickets we would buy separately.
Sit down meals we would probably take turns (like switch off between the two families, and MIL/FIL would also insist on picking up some tabs too). But $ isn’t a big issue for any of us and we’d be likely to order similarly (no one having a ton of alcoholic beverages or whatever). Otherwise, just do separate tabs. |
Anonymous
| My in laws (and parents) would pay for every single dinner if we let them. We would offer to pay at least once. |
Anonymous
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With DH’s family they generally take turns picking up the bill with FIL paying a few times more than the kids.
In my family we split it. One person pays and we keep track and settle up at the end of the trip, not after each meal. We don’t fo out to eat a lot so this is mainly grocery expenses from the vacation that we split. |
Anonymous
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In our family, the grandparents usually pay (both sides). Occasionally my husband will push to pay, and my dad will say sure.
If splitting, it's usually with my sister and family or my husband's brother and family (no grandparents around), we ask for separate checks or venmo each other after. |
Anonymous
Separate bills. Let the server know when you order. |
Anonymous
+1 |
Anonymous
| With DH's side of the family, everyone books their own big items like flights/hotels/rental cars. If someone is booking a bunch of stuff in advance they let everyone know the total cost per person and we venmo/mail checks. My ILs normally pick-up the dinner tabs but sometimes DH and his siblings split it. I'm an only child and when we travel with my parents they pay for everything, but they are pretty wealthy and consider our trips a gift. |
Anonymous
| We'd take turns paying for meals. We're the kind of family that argues about who gets to pay. |