Why are lawyers so boring??

[Anonymous]

My job has a lot of legal compliance elements, and so I attend a lot of webinars and whatnot to stay up to date.

And without fail, the lawyer delivering the information has the dynamism of tofu. Flat affect, too many unexplained terms of art, just droning the content, often directly off the slides.

I know a ton of lawyers, and they are normal people. So why is it that when they get in front of an audience, any personality or humor just *poof* disappears? Is there a law school class about delivering the flattest presentation possible? I'm not even sleepy-- well rested and caffeinated!-- and having a hard time staying awake.

[Anonymous]

Reducing risk. If you’re funny or veer off topic in anyway, you run the risk of offending someone. People are crazy.

[Anonymous]

Delivering an interesting presentation isn’t taught or emphasized in the slightest in law school. In fact there’s almost zero training about how to interact with clients at all.

[Anonymous]

You must not know many trial attorneys because we are performers by nature. We have to be if we want to hold the attention of a jury.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Reducing risk. If you’re funny or veer off topic in anyway, you run the risk of offending someone. People are crazy.

THISSSS. Our attorneys won't even give advice or tell us what to do generally because there's a chance it could be wrong 1% of the time. They're definitely risk adverse people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You must not know many trial attorneys because we are performers by nature. We have to be if we want to hold the attention of a jury.

Nah it's all tax and regulatory stuff. I like what I do... but most of these lawyers seem deeply, almost dangerously, depressed!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You must not know many trial attorneys because we are performers by nature. We have to be if we want to hold the attention of a jury.

Agree! We are 4 generation s of lawyers in my family. Most are humorous storytellers. OP are you mad you didn't get into law school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You must not know many trial attorneys because we are performers by nature. We have to be if we want to hold the attention of a jury.

Agreed. Unfortunately I think nearly all of the CLEs I've attended over the years are just as the OP described. Pure torture. I work in a niche practice area where I offer continuing ed to non-attorneys and I cannot tell you the number of times over the years where attendees have specifically commented in their feedback of how wonderful it was to attend a continuing ed course that included personality because apparently I'm funny when I present. I don't think I'm funny in real life, but to this commenter's point, it's a performance. Either you perform to hold the audience's attention when conveying difficult topics and get to keep your job or you should find something else to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You must not know many trial attorneys because we are performers by nature. We have to be if we want to hold the attention of a jury.

Agree! We are 4 generation s of lawyers in my family. Most are humorous storytellers. OP are you mad you didn't get into law school?

I would be very confused if I had gotten into law school, since I never applied.

You seem a little defensive about your choices... do you want to talk about it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You must not know many trial attorneys because we are performers by nature. We have to be if we want to hold the attention of a jury.

Agree! We are 4 generation s of lawyers in my family. Most are humorous storytellers. OP are you mad you didn't get into law school?

I would be very confused if I had gotten into law school, since I never applied.

You seem a little defensive about your choices... do you want to talk about it?

Projection on your part.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You must not know many trial attorneys because we are performers by nature. We have to be if we want to hold the attention of a jury.

Agree! We are 4 generation s of lawyers in my family. Most are humorous storytellers. OP are you mad you didn't get into law school?

I would be very confused if I had gotten into law school, since I never applied.

You seem a little defensive about your choices... do you want to talk about it?

Projection on your part.

It's never too late to make a change! I work with plenty of people who went to law school and even worked as lawyers, but are much happier since switching industry/ focus. Wishing you the best.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You must not know many trial attorneys because we are performers by nature. We have to be if we want to hold the attention of a jury.

Nah it's all tax and regulatory stuff. I like what I do... but most of these lawyers seem deeply, almost dangerously, depressed!

DP. Well that explains it. Tax and regulatory law isn’t fun stuff to most people. And those areas of law tend to attract people with a certain kind of personality. I’ve never met a tax attorney with a sense of humor.

[Anonymous]

When you read thousands of tedious pages of rules and regulations week after sack-of-rocks-on-the-back dreary week, the smiley muscles in your face atrophy. People and other living beings appear as cardboard things as lifeless as yourself. You think there may be a vampire draining your blood. Your paycheck is the highlight of your existence.

You watch the Monty Python skit of that chartered accountant who wants to be a lion tamer and you instantly relate. Another career path has crossed (and criss-crossed) your mind but you have sunk so much of your soul into your career that switching would be like a barnacle getting the courage to detach itself into the open sea.

“A few more years and I will retire” you repeat to yourself, unsure of what to do with so much free time should that day come before turning your face to the wall and dying like Bartleby the Scrivener.

Boring does not take energy and if it had a smell, fire detector or C02 alarms would go off when you walked by.

Imagine having to read Ulysses by James Joyce at least once a month year after year then submit book reports week after week. Your mind feels like it is full of maggots.

And you ask, “Why are you so boring?”

Maybe now you know. Have mercy on me.

[Anonymous]

Bravo, PP. Love that you've turned your frustration to literary work. Keep it up, sincerely. I enjoyed that.

[Anonymous]

It's a boring profession. Like attracts like.