Colleague who is always confused

[Anonymous]

I have a colleague who is always confused. “I am so confused. Can we go through this again?”

You ask a question on email. She responds immediately with an IM to meet because she doesn’t understand.

You need to to go over slides multiple times.

And the SHE gets promoted!

[Anonymous]

Are you perhaps not explaining things well?

[Anonymous]

What type of stuff is she confused about? The actual context of the slides, the preferred formatting, the goal of deck?

Can you provide more context, examples?

[Anonymous]

I also work with someone like this. I'm thinking it's likely an artifact of getting older, brain fog, etc. I also think that some people just don't comprehend written text well. Next time just call her first and give some background info before you send your email. Or just tell her what you need in the conversation, wait for a show of understanding, and then send your follow-up email.

[Anonymous]

Is she writing it down when instruction is provided? If someone is in front of me a second time and there's no paper - I ask them to write it down. And eventually, I just tell them I will only say it once. Time is money.

[Anonymous]

Sometimes, when I want to passive aggressive about my airhead colleague's shambolic or idiotic points, I will look at her with a serious face and claim to be confused or ask her questions about what she said, just to make the repeat it. Sometimes more than once, if I really want to drive home the point (that she is an idiot).

Maybe you are talking gibberish? Since she was promoted, it seems this could be the case. Is she only "confused" when you say or write something?

[Anonymous]

Maybe she is doing it to not embarrass you. Maybe you are constantly unclear in your communications, but she's putting the confusion on her to be kind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is she writing it down when instruction is provided? If someone is in front of me a second time and there's no paper - I ask them to write it down. And eventually, I just tell them I will only say it once. Time is money.

This. I had an employee like this a few years ago, and it drove me batty. A supervisor/colleague should not have to repeat guidance that they already provided, particularly if you weren't smart enough to write it down. How hard is it to attend a meeting prepared with a paper and pen?

[Anonymous]

Can you give us an example of your instructions?

Should be one or two brief sentences and then 4-6 bullet points.

Anything else is inefficient and a waste of words.

[Anonymous]

Example-“here are the revisions to the document we talked about yesterday.”

“I’m so confused. What document did we talk about yesterday? What revisions?”

Then you have to go line by line.

Things like that.

Anonymous wrote:Can you give us an example of your instructions?

Should be one or two brief sentences and then 4-6 bullet points.

Anything else is inefficient and a waste of words.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a colleague who is always confused. “I am so confused. Can we go through this again?”

You ask a question on email. She responds immediately with an IM to meet because she doesn’t understand.

You need to to go over slides multiple times.

And the SHE gets promoted!

Most people in charge are not the smart ones or capable ones.

"It's not what you know, but WHO you know."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Example-“here are the revisions to the document we talked about yesterday.”

“I’m so confused. What document did we talk about yesterday? What revisions?”

Then you have to go line by line.

Things like that.

Anonymous wrote:Can you give us an example of your instructions?

Should be one or two brief sentences and then 4-6 bullet points.

Anything else is inefficient and a waste of words.

as smn who reviews multiple docs per day and dozens per week, I would be confused without better context. I may have reviewed 10 documents yesterday. And I may be confused as to why the document are being sent to me again Need more context, eg. “This is the client XYX presentation. We are aiming to finalize it on [date]. I made the updates to our ABC capability statement per our discussion on [date]. You asked to review the edits. Please let me know your comments, if any, by [date].”

[Anonymous]

This is a tactic I’ve seen deployed by incompetent people many times. Sadly, it seems to work.

Also, promotions have almost nothing to do with accomplishments and almost everything to do with positioning and politicking. You should know this by now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a tactic I’ve seen deployed by incompetent people many times. Sadly, it seems to work.

Also, promotions have almost nothing to do with accomplishments and almost everything to do with positioning and politicking. You should know this by now.

This too. Great way to eat up work time and yet appear busy, just needing some help.

Reminds me of the Seinfeld episode where Costanza was always acting busy at his desk and mad, yelling, frustrated. People thought he was working too hard, when he hardly did anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Example-“here are the revisions to the document we talked about yesterday.”

“I’m so confused. What document did we talk about yesterday? What revisions?”

Then you have to go line by line.

Things like that.

Anonymous wrote:Can you give us an example of your instructions?

Should be one or two brief sentences and then 4-6 bullet points.

Anything else is inefficient and a waste of words.

Why do you have to go over it again? Why can’t you just say, “the revisions to the attached document. See the attachment.” or maybe add one more phrase about when or how you talked about it, like “we discussed this in an email yesterday “or “we discussed this standing next to the water cooler. “If she did this more than a couple times to me I would ask her if she’s feeling OK because she doesn’t seem to remember conversations that you had with her. I certainly would not spend more than five seconds responding to her confusion or going over things with her again. And if she kept it up, I would ask her what suggestions she has for how to avoid this kind of confusion in the future, if you need to estimate in writing as possible, and subsequent communications with her should always be on top of the entire thread.