Women who can't get along with other women at work
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Anonymous
| I'm so tired of this woman (probably around 30) who gets along great with all the men at work, but for some reason just cannot get along with other women. She's the newest in the division and probably also the youngest (I don't know everyone's exact age, but definitely the least work experience), yet got upset and stormed out of the room when she discovered she wasn't going to be selected as "acting" when her boss quit. She will only reach out to the men on teams even when their female supervisors are the ones that make decisions and need to be in the loop. I just don't get it - I've been nothing but nice to this person, included her in everything, yet she goes below me to a junior male on the team (who always forwards me the emails and messages she sends him) for things. I've called her out on it before, today my team was teleworking and I said in an email: "Larla, please let me know if you'd like to schedule a meeting to discuss this task. I know you reached out to John, but Sarah will be leading this effort, please include her in all messages and meeting invitations" and lo and behold, she only included John in the meeting invitation (who forwarded it to Sarah, who went to the meeting). This is not the first person I've encountered like this - what motivates people like this? |
Anonymous
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You've got an extreme case and I can't imagine what prompts her to ignore direct requests to involve named people. Write her up for failure to follow direction.
When I encounter women who only work well with men, they typically gravitate to older "checked out" male managers who will let them do whatever and not ask questions. Somebody who tries to actually manage them is deemed uptight, pushy, b-tchy, etc. But that doesn't sound like what you've got in this case. |
Anonymous
| Sounds like she is reaching up the chain but one level and not several, and they happen to be men. She feels like it’s more appropriate than burdening someone higher up with minutia? |
Anonymous
|
Women are always more catty and backstabbing with each other.
How is this just now a sudden revelation to you? |
Anonymous
You must be young. Men are the worst backstabbers. |
Anonymous
| I've experienced something similar to this before and it just came down to the person had an inflated sense of herself and her role in the organization. She ended up quitting on the spot immediately following a "meets expectations" performance evaluation. |
Anonymous
In your bubble world perhaps. |
Anonymous
| And I'm tired of people who can't write in paragraphs. We're all tired of different things. |
Anonymous
| Internalized misogyny is a thing OP. Also, to be fair to her, she may have been mistreated by women in the past and have a hard time letting her guard down. This is true for me but I am conscious of this fear and don’t let it control me. I am still always much more on edge dealing with women at work. |
Anonymous
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She's probably young and reasonably pretty and has always gotten her way with boys, then men, and not girls, then men.
I definitely get along better with men than women, but I also understand that and do my best to figure out the how women-work-thing, which doesn't come naturally to me. |
Anonymous
Not at my company I wish. |
Anonymous
| I've noticed a lot of people will abuse the nicer more inclusive people at work because they are power hungry and believe they will take it. There is something about inclusiveness that is non decisive and flaky to people like this and they will exploit your kindness. |