Stress over son’s friendships
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Anonymous
| My 13 yo with ADHD and LDs has one friend who calls him to do things. I am so afraid that my ds is going to lose this friend because he hangs out with other boys who aren’t nice to ds. I don’t know what to do about the situation or my anxiety. I’m losing sleep over this. |
Anonymous
| Have you taken the time to facilitate 1:1 interactions between your child and the other children you claim are mean to him? |
Anonymous
| I would take this kid to awesome activities and also be really nice to his parents (without sucking up). |
Anonymous
Oh, believe me, we do. |
Anonymous
They are 13. I can’t really plan play dates. |
Anonymous
| It’s so hard, but you have to try to not borrow trouble; today, they are friends and everything is okay. If things go sideways in the future; you’ll address it then. In the meantime, continue to facilitate activities that might bring new connections. This is something you have zero control over - just focus on what you CAN control. Middle school sucks for so many kids; the meanness recedes in high school - at least that was my kids’ experience. |
Anonymous
|
yea, I worried about this and then it happened. But it was a good thing because he was spending time with his friend at recess, which meant getting to tons of mean comments from his friend's friends. Once his friendship faded, he hung out in the library at recess and found new friends there.
His friend was never mean to him but never stood up for him. My son recognized this, articulated it himself, and so all in all it was a good learning experience. I do wish I didn't spend a year worrying about it. I was powerless to stop it and once the friendship break/fade happened, it was fine. |
Anonymous
| My DS with ADHD is 13 and virtually has no friends. He says he has a group at school to sit with at lunch. He’s in a sport so he occasionally texts with them and plays computer games with them. But generally he’s home with little to do. He’s rarely invited anywhere and he won’t do any inviting. Even when the neighbor boys come to the door, he won’t go out. His brother does instead. It makes me sad and concerned. |
Anonymous
| This stresses me out too. I think the phone and chat element of childhood makes it worse. Our kid can't easily decipher that type of communication. Finding an a shared interest group? |
Anonymous
| I’d be curious from older parents to hear if/hie their kids who were like this at this age were in high school/college. I babysat a kid who only had one friend in late elementary/middle. FF and friend switch schools just about the time I quit sitting for him. I ran into the mom several years later and kid was going into senior year, was very involved, and had lots of friends. Just one example, but I think it is can go that way |
Anonymous
| **If/when |
Anonymous
| I can understand your worry, but maybe you can try to help your son find a better group that is more his speed where the kids are not mean to him. |