Still have 35 lbs to lose postpartum and not feeling sexy or attractive

[Anonymous]

I gained 60+ lbs while pregnant and now I'm 6 weeks postpartum and still have 35 lbs to go. It's coming off slowly but I'm breastfeeding and dont want to rush anything or not eat enough. I really dislike existing in this larger body. I would love to hear other women's experiences with this and how you got back into feeling sexy/attractive. My sex life with DH matters a lot to me and I would love to feel like my old sexy self but that just seems so far away...

[Anonymous]

You can absolutely be sexy at a larger size. Buy some lingerie you feel confident in, spritz on some perfume, and have at it!

[Anonymous]

Prioritize losing the weight. No one wants to say it, but life is better when you are thin. 35 pounds on an average woman’s frame is significant.

To be clear, I hate the expectation that postpartum women immediately bounce back. And I hate what our culture says about weight. But the truth is that if the way your body looks and feels matters a lot to you, no amount of lingerie or perfume or gentle yoga is going to make you feel sexy and confident.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Prioritize losing the weight. No one wants to say it, but life is better when you are thin. 35 pounds on an average woman’s frame is significant.

To be clear, I hate the expectation that postpartum women immediately bounce back. And I hate what our culture says about weight. But the truth is that if the way your body looks and feels matters a lot to you, no amount of lingerie or perfume or gentle yoga is going to make you feel sexy and confident.

Unless she wants to stop breastfeeding (which she will be criticized for as well) then there's no way she can "prioritize losing the weight" any more than she's actually doing. A man's boner is not more important than a baby's wellbeing

[Anonymous]

Guarantee you your DH doesnt care and finds you sexy either way. your insecurities are all in your head

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Guarantee you your DH doesnt care and finds you sexy either way. your insecurities are all in your head

DH here: +1. Dear God, six weeks postpartum is way too early to be worried about this, he almost certainly finds certain aspects of your physical changes attractive anyway, and it sounds like you have lost a huge amount of weight already. Chill out, focus on being healthy, and this situation is likely going to take care of itself. Just breathe.

[Anonymous]

You just got cleared to exercise. Please be kind to yourself. Weight that took 9 months to gain won't come off in 9 weeks.

[Anonymous]

You are 6 weeks! Relax a bit. It took you 9 months to put on those 60lbs. You can’t expect to lose the 60lbs on 6 weeks. Did you go to the doctor yet? If you are cleared to exercise then do it. You can’t just look in the mirror and expect yourself to lose weight. Eat healthy as you are breastfeeding. Lay off the junk food. Adequate rest and sleep helps also. Take advantage of the breastfeeding breast and spice them large things up with lingerie.

[Anonymous]

It took me multiple kids to be ok with my postpartum body and to realize I actually didn’t have to eat oatmeal and carbs all day to breastfeed. You can lose weight breastfeeding, and you should also just know you’re not going back to how you previously looked ever, regardless of weight.

[Anonymous]

35 lbs is not THAT much. Just be patient and buy some larger clothes that allow you to feel good, maybe a quite dress or outfit. Wear some heels, dress up, and you'll probably feel a lot better.

[Anonymous]

He may like you curvier.

[Anonymous]

The fact that you even want to feel sexy at 6 weeks postpartum is amazing. Your husband hit the jackpot.

[Anonymous]

It’s hard to lose your identity and body as a mom. Give it time. You’re way too early to be expecting your body to snap back, and your identity is going to be and feel different now. Don’t expect to return exactly to exactly who you were before and the body you had before and it will be easier. It’s very disorienting at first, but you’re still so early I honestly think you’re not focusing on the right things. I mean, for starters, if you’re nursing you may not want sex until you wean or your hormones get more in balance, and you may have so much dryness or scar tissue sex may not even feel good. Give it time. Your identity as a sexual being will return and your body will find a new normal, but 6 weeks PP is way too early to expect or think about this. I didn’t feel anywhere close to normal until I weaned both my kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It took me multiple kids to be ok with my postpartum body and to realize I actually didn’t have to eat oatmeal and carbs all day to breastfeed. You can lose weight breastfeeding, and you should also just know you’re not going back to how you previously looked ever, regardless of weight.

I kept on 10-15 lbs while nursing that I couldn’t lose until I stopped. YMMV.