My ADHD 11 yo son takes short acting medication that largely control his ADHD symptoms of distractibility and impulsivity nicely. We were lucky we found something so quick that worked with minimal side effects. He is continuing tutoring during the summer so I medicate him for those sessions, but on non-tutoring days, I have been skipping. He's a small guy for his age and already has a small appetite (wants to eat and then jump up to play) so the medication dampens the little bit he has. I am trying to not medicate him unless it's an academic thing so he can grow, but he's nearly impossible with his siblings. He's so impulsive he can't play nicely for too long or he's not regulated when things don't go his way.
I'm trying to balance what to do, anyone have any advice? Growing on these long summer days (they day kids grow more in the summer) but dealing with his impulsively which I'm sure that hampers his confidence and how he perceives himself (he gets 99% more corrections when he's off meds) vs being more amenable and agreeable for family life but then not eating so much and missing a growing opportunity. |
Talk with his doctor. Have you tried non stimulants? My son is on a combo of non stimulants and stimulants. He never skips the non stims but sometimes skips the stims on weekends/summer days for the same reasons you mention.
The non-stims have not been as effective in our experience, but maybe they will help enough to get him by on the days when he skips his stim. |
PP here and I will add to embrace alternate eating schedules. When my kids is on stims, he eats a good breakfast before the meds, doesn't eat much for lunch, but then has a good dinner and snacks through the evening often pretty substantially which ends up kind of making up for the light lunch. We basically let him eat whatever he wants for snacks to put on weight. |
My advice is to stay on the meds all summer. They help with social and other things, per your description and your kid will be happier.
My too small kid needed to eat first thing in the morning and also very late at night. He is now a 20 year old college student and he still takes the meds daily because it helps him - if he forgot to refill or something, he might skip a day when he has nothing going on, but he prefers not to. That said, he still eats a lot before the meds kick in in the morning and late at night --- he eats dinner with us at a normal time and whole second dinner usually around 10:00 or later (leftovers or something else he cooks - but it's like a full meal). and that works for him. |
OP here,
Those are all great pieces of advice. I will talk to his psych about non-stim meds and also embrace alternative eating times or consider just medicating anyway. I know the snacking at night drives my husband bonkers. He grew up in a "kitchen is closed" kinda house so doesn't like when the kids start snacking so soon after dinner. How do you handle the snacking with the other kids? If my son is eating/snacking later at night, Icecream, yogurt, cheese, chips, etc. My other 3 kids are also going to want to eat at that time too even though they are not hungry nor do they need to eat then. I don't want to cause weird food struggles and also don't want to seem like I'm playing *favorites* which is inevitably what my young kids will think ("he gets to eat Icecream every night that's not fair"). I can see it now! |
NP here. feel you. I say the doctor instructed us to give child ___ late night snacks/smoothies bc he needs to gain weight. You and your other sibling don’t need that right now, your weight is okay. |
Have you asked him? By 11 yo, he'll have an opinion on how he feels on meds. If he hasn't reflected, maybe you could help him keep a log? Each night he could make a note of how the day went and if he was medicated. |
OP here...
As far as reflection, he knows it helps him with school but Im not sure if he knows otherwise how it helps him. During the school year we just give it every day, even on weekends, bc the family dynamic and having him not be in trouble or making a sibling yell far outweighs other options. I suppose I need to treat the summer days like weekends too. I will ask his psychiatrist soon and see if there are nonstim options and get my husband on board with his late night snacking/maybe even making a milkshake or something and putting it in a opaque cup so the siblings won't be drooling. I can tell them the doctor said he could have X but that doesn't mean they won't feel slighted by it and since he's already our labor intensive child, I'm sure they are sensitive to how he gets a lot more of our attention too. |
Kids with ADHD hear no, stop, don't, etc. exponentially more than kids without. Whether he knows ore doesn't know how these meds help him besides academics, it sounds like he will be having a better summer with the meds. The medical literature shows, if anything, their is a loss of .5 inch of height with these meds over the lifetime. And that is only for the kids whose growth is affected by the meds. Your ped should be able to see if the growth curve has flattened while on the meds already. Stay the course. |
I would explain it to your kids - this is what his body needs. But I also think your husband sounds overly rigid in his kitchen is closed rule. I think as a general rule that kids should be able to follow their body's signals and be allowed to access food when they are hungry. |
No I don't think this is accurate. My 17 year old still says he doesn't feel the difference. The psychiatrist said it's normal for kids and teens to not feel it until adulthood. I have a adult family member with ADHD; he says he can definitely tell the difference. But my son can't. |
Have you tried halving his dose of short acting? I’ve been doing that with my son who’s similar. |
![]() ![]() ![]() I have 2 adhd kids and they both stay on meds year round. The oldest is now 20 and she doesn't like to drive until it's kicked in. She will but doesn't like to if she can avoid it. We let them eat whenever and whatever they want. |
OP here,
These are all such great perspectives and advice. Thank you!!! More importantly when you feel like you are not alone and other people have struggled or been through it before you, that feeling is more important than anything. |
My son stays on meds all summer, but we often skip the 3rd dose. During the school year he takes short acting morning, mid day, and late afternoon. In the summer we do a morning and an afternoon. Its enough to get through the day but he still has periods of unregulated behavior and I can definitely tell, he cant follow instructions or play nice without that other dose. He also eats a large breakfast and a second dinner. I dont allow stuff like ice cream though. He eats leftovers or fruit, yogurt, peanut butter toast. Something with minimal sugar and lots of protein is my rule. Feed your kid food your others wont be jealous of. |