A very uncomfortable situation- how to handle

[Anonymous]

I am friends with a group from my sons school. We get together once a month for lunch or dinner.

So happens we went out for lunch today for our monthly get together. We are a real mix of personalities. Of the 8 of us, 2 are Jewish the rest are mixed religions. We all never bring up politics or religion as an unspoken rule however today the most outspoken of the bunch came out and blasted Israel for what they are doing. She really unloaded, once she got started, she didn't let up (with encouragement from others). We were all kind of surprised and in shock at first. One of the moms (Jewish) is married to a christian husband and is not religious and was one of the first to agree. Then a few others did too. The other Jewish mom however did not take this well. She started to defend whats going on then abruptly got up and said she had to leave early.

Of all the moms, shes the one I am the least close with but I feel badly for how it went. I want to call her just to see how shes doing because I know it was upsetting to her. Not to say I agree with her at all but shes human and no doubt felt really outnumbered as the "ringleader" came on really strong. Should I call or leave it alone?

[Anonymous]

Why would you need to call the ring leader? She was speaking her opinion which she is perfectly entitled to do. It doesn’t sound like she attacked anyone personally though some felt attacked.

[Anonymous]

no the Jewish mom (only one who felt otherwise) who got up abruptly. I don't agree with her politically or otherwise but I did feel bad that she obviously felt "ganged up upon"

My husband says leave it alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:no the Jewish mom (only one who felt otherwise) who got up abruptly. I don't agree with her politically or otherwise but I did feel bad that she obviously felt "ganged up upon"

My husband says leave it alone.

He is right.

[Anonymous]

As a jewish (American) person who doesn't want to hear people bash Israel, I would appreciate the call from you. Yes, a lot of what Israel is doing is atrocious but this country has been defending themselves from all sides for their entire "life".

I have never heard ANYONE unleash on the IDF without ALSO talking smack about Jewish people. THAT is the real issue for me. Their antisemitism comes roaring out, and they can't/won't see that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a jewish (American) person who doesn't want to hear people bash Israel, I would appreciate the call from you. Yes, a lot of what Israel is doing is atrocious but this country has been defending themselves from all sides for their entire "life".

I have never heard ANYONE unleash on the IDF without ALSO talking smack about Jewish people. THAT is the real issue for me. Their antisemitism comes roaring out, and they can't/won't see that.

I am genuinely not trying to be inflammatory but I do find your last paragraph hard to believe. Have you not spoken with any of the many Jewish voices against instances of IDF brutality?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a jewish (American) person who doesn't want to hear people bash Israel, I would appreciate the call from you. Yes, a lot of what Israel is doing is atrocious but this country has been defending themselves from all sides for their entire "life".

I have never heard ANYONE unleash on the IDF without ALSO talking smack about Jewish people. THAT is the real issue for me. Their antisemitism comes roaring out, and they can't/won't see that.

I have. And it gets called antisemitism anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a jewish (American) person who doesn't want to hear people bash Israel, I would appreciate the call from you. Yes, a lot of what Israel is doing is atrocious but this country has been defending themselves from all sides for their entire "life".

I have never heard ANYONE unleash on the IDF without ALSO talking smack about Jewish people. THAT is the real issue for me. Their antisemitism comes roaring out, and they can't/won't see that.

I have. And it gets called antisemitism anyway.

If we can get back to the actual point here - clearly the mom that left was feeling attacked right or wrong. It’s complex. It would be very nice if OP called this women to acknowledge that it was a difficult situation for her and offer to listen to what she has to say.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a jewish (American) person who doesn't want to hear people bash Israel, I would appreciate the call from you. Yes, a lot of what Israel is doing is atrocious but this country has been defending themselves from all sides for their entire "life".

I have never heard ANYONE unleash on the IDF without ALSO talking smack about Jewish people. THAT is the real issue for me. Their antisemitism comes roaring out, and they can't/won't see that.

I have. And it gets called antisemitism anyway.

+1

I am against what Israel is doing and that doesn't make me antisemitic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a jewish (American) person who doesn't want to hear people bash Israel, I would appreciate the call from you. Yes, a lot of what Israel is doing is atrocious but this country has been defending themselves from all sides for their entire "life".

I have never heard ANYONE unleash on the IDF without ALSO talking smack about Jewish people. THAT is the real issue for me. Their antisemitism comes roaring out, and they can't/won't see that.

I am genuinely not trying to be inflammatory but I do find your last paragraph hard to believe. Have you not spoken with any of the many Jewish voices against instances of IDF brutality?

Of course. I am also against the IDF brutality. However, my jewish friends and I are able to separate what the IDF is doing from hating all jewish people, even hating all Israelis. And that's not something I can say about non-jews. We (my jewish friends/relatives and I) don't unleash to each other about the IDF. We don't need to because we know we all agree. Our talks are more solution-oriented and about the therapy everyone involved will need, and how all the hard work bridging relationships between Israelis and Palestinians over the last few decades has crumbled. Some of us were involved in those programs.

When I said I've never heard anyone unleash on the IDF without also talking smack about jewish people, I meant "anyone" to mean non-jews. Sorry for not being clear the first time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a jewish (American) person who doesn't want to hear people bash Israel, I would appreciate the call from you. Yes, a lot of what Israel is doing is atrocious but this country has been defending themselves from all sides for their entire "life".

I have never heard ANYONE unleash on the IDF without ALSO talking smack about Jewish people. THAT is the real issue for me. Their antisemitism comes roaring out, and they can't/won't see that.

I am genuinely not trying to be inflammatory but I do find your last paragraph hard to believe. Have you not spoken with any of the many Jewish voices against instances of IDF brutality?

Of course. I am also against the IDF brutality. However, my jewish friends and I are able to separate what the IDF is doing from hating all jewish people, even hating all Israelis. And that's not something I can say about non-jews. We (my jewish friends/relatives and I) don't unleash to each other about the IDF. We don't need to because we know we all agree. Our talks are more solution-oriented and about the therapy everyone involved will need, and how all the hard work bridging relationships between Israelis and Palestinians over the last few decades has crumbled. Some of us were involved in those programs.

When I said I've never heard anyone unleash on the IDF without also talking smack about jewish people, I meant "anyone" to mean non-jews. Sorry for not being clear the first time.

+1.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a jewish (American) person who doesn't want to hear people bash Israel, I would appreciate the call from you. Yes, a lot of what Israel is doing is atrocious but this country has been defending themselves from all sides for their entire "life".

I have never heard ANYONE unleash on the IDF without ALSO talking smack about Jewish people. THAT is the real issue for me. Their antisemitism comes roaring out, and they can't/won't see that.

I am genuinely not trying to be inflammatory but I do find your last paragraph hard to believe. Have you not spoken with any of the many Jewish voices against instances of IDF brutality?

Ditto. I have never seen this.

Blasting the Israeli government and the IDF, and US support of Israel? Totally fair game. But I'm heavily in the "pro-Gaza" community of voices and have never once heard someone blame Jewish people. Israelis and Zionism? Yes, but not Jews.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a jewish (American) person who doesn't want to hear people bash Israel, I would appreciate the call from you. Yes, a lot of what Israel is doing is atrocious but this country has been defending themselves from all sides for their entire "life".

I have never heard ANYONE unleash on the IDF without ALSO talking smack about Jewish people. THAT is the real issue for me. Their antisemitism comes roaring out, and they can't/won't see that.

I am genuinely not trying to be inflammatory but I do find your last paragraph hard to believe. Have you not spoken with any of the many Jewish voices against instances of IDF brutality?

Of course. I am also against the IDF brutality. However, my jewish friends and I are able to separate what the IDF is doing from hating all jewish people, even hating all Israelis. And that's not something I can say about non-jews. We (my jewish friends/relatives and I) don't unleash to each other about the IDF. We don't need to because we know we all agree. Our talks are more solution-oriented and about the therapy everyone involved will need, and how all the hard work bridging relationships between Israelis and Palestinians over the last few decades has crumbled. Some of us were involved in those programs.

When I said I've never heard anyone unleash on the IDF without also talking smack about jewish people, I meant "anyone" to mean non-jews. Sorry for not being clear the first time.

Non-jews can also separate government policy and IDF actions ordered by a government from "all Israelis" or "all Jews." You just haven't heard enough people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a jewish (American) person who doesn't want to hear people bash Israel, I would appreciate the call from you. Yes, a lot of what Israel is doing is atrocious but this country has been defending themselves from all sides for their entire "life".

I have never heard ANYONE unleash on the IDF without ALSO talking smack about Jewish people. THAT is the real issue for me. Their antisemitism comes roaring out, and they can't/won't see that.

I am genuinely not trying to be inflammatory but I do find your last paragraph hard to believe. Have you not spoken with any of the many Jewish voices against instances of IDF brutality?

Of course. I am also against the IDF brutality. However, my jewish friends and I are able to separate what the IDF is doing from hating all jewish people, even hating all Israelis. And that's not something I can say about non-jews. We (my jewish friends/relatives and I) don't unleash to each other about the IDF. We don't need to because we know we all agree. Our talks are more solution-oriented and about the therapy everyone involved will need, and how all the hard work bridging relationships between Israelis and Palestinians over the last few decades has crumbled. Some of us were involved in those programs.

When I said I've never heard anyone unleash on the IDF without also talking smack about jewish people, I meant "anyone" to mean non-jews. Sorry for not being clear the first time.

Non-jews can also separate government policy and IDF actions ordered by a government from "all Israelis" or "all Jews." You just haven't heard enough people.

This is about how the woman who walked out felt - clearly she felt the discussion was antisemitic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a jewish (American) person who doesn't want to hear people bash Israel, I would appreciate the call from you. Yes, a lot of what Israel is doing is atrocious but this country has been defending themselves from all sides for their entire "life".

I have never heard ANYONE unleash on the IDF without ALSO talking smack about Jewish people. THAT is the real issue for me. Their antisemitism comes roaring out, and they can't/won't see that.

I am genuinely not trying to be inflammatory but I do find your last paragraph hard to believe. Have you not spoken with any of the many Jewish voices against instances of IDF brutality?

Ditto. I have never seen this.

Blasting the Israeli government and the IDF, and US support of Israel? Totally fair game. But I'm heavily in the "pro-Gaza" community of voices and have never once heard someone blame Jewish people. Israelis and Zionism? Yes, but not Jews.

lol ok. This is why she walked out.