College orientation?

[Anonymous]

DD is signed up to attend the orientation next month and will be staying on campus. Parent attendance is optional, but DD seems very offended when I asked her if she would mind going alone. There is a parent program, but the flight alone is $500 plus if I go my hotel room for the 3 nights will be a minimum of $1K - plus I will be missing work days. My DD is expecting me to go, so I'll probably end up going. Wondering how many parents skip this sort of thing? I will be going in August to move her in, but I didn't plan on this additional trip.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD is signed up to attend the orientation next month and will be staying on campus. Parent attendance is optional, but DD seems very offended when I asked her if she would mind going alone. There is a parent program, but the flight alone is $500 plus if I go my hotel room for the 3 nights will be a minimum of $1K - plus I will be missing work days. My DD is expecting me to go, so I'll probably end up going. Wondering how many parents skip this sort of thing? I will be going in August to move her in, but I didn't plan on this additional trip.

Every kid had a parent at our orientation. Even my parents who barely knew I existed "back in the day" went with me to mine.

[Anonymous]

Last year I went to my kid’s at University of South Carolina, and although there were plenty of parents, they were plenty of kids without parents. I also felt like I was cramping my kid’s style.

Do it if you can swing it easily, but if it’s a hassle, I would skip it. I only went because I had never seen the campus.

[Anonymous]

Skip it. And do it guilt free.

[Anonymous]

Most parents go. Your kid is mentally preparing to move away from you for four years and she is asking for this time with you. Listen to her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most parents go. Your kid is mentally preparing to move away from you for four years and she is asking for this time with you. Listen to her.

Oh, please. No she isn't. She's just nervous and wants her hands held. She'll be fine.

Stop with the guilt trip.

[Anonymous]

Ridiculous. You shouldn’t be going to her orientation. She can handle it.

[Anonymous]

We went, 2023 grad, and upon arrival we were split up, DD stayed on campus, we stayed at a hotel. She met her bffs (even 2 years later), and we went on the parent program. Some sessions were interesting (the jobs our 1027 grads would get don't exist today), others were unnecessary (she's our second kid to go to college, so we weren't newbies). Still glad we went

[Anonymous]

It’s ridiculous that these big state schools make kids come to orientations during the summer, which they charge extra for (!). Why can’t they just do a few days before classes start in the fall?
I realize that it may not be a big deal for in state kids, but some states are huge, so many kids still need to travel far to get there and it’s a big expense.

-signed, the mother of a kid going to a school across the country and is annoyed by the cost and logistics of getting their kid to a mid summer orientation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s ridiculous that these big state schools make kids come to orientations during the summer, which they charge extra for (!). Why can’t they just do a few days before classes start in the fall?
I realize that it may not be a big deal for in state kids, but some states are huge, so many kids still need to travel far to get there and it’s a big expense.

-signed, the mother of a kid going to a school across the country and is annoyed by the cost and logistics of getting their kid to a mid summer orientation.

How do you know the OP is talking about a big state school? My kids attend two different "big state schools" and both had their in-person orientation a week before classes start.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most parents go. Your kid is mentally preparing to move away from you for four years and she is asking for this time with you. Listen to her.

Oh, please. No she isn't. She's just nervous and wants her hands held. She'll be fine.

Stop with the guilt trip.

DP. The PP is right. How many more times is your kid actually going to *want* you to go with her somewhere? Sure, you don't have to go but she'll definitely remember that.

[Anonymous]

If the finances or time off would actually be a hardship, skip it. Otherwise, just go. It might be a waste or it might be interesting and helpful, but blowing off your kid just because she’s technically an adult now and “should” manage on her own (and, honestly, would be just fine, most likely) - don’t do that if you don’t have to. She’s asking you to go. Go if you can.

(To the “she’s just nervous” pp - so what? Don’t you ever get nervous? If you asked a partner or friend for moral support for something, wouldn’t you want them to do that even though you’re “just nervous” and are a full-grown adult? Most people don’t boot their 18 year olds out the door and refuse to ever support them again.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s ridiculous that these big state schools make kids come to orientations during the summer, which they charge extra for (!). Why can’t they just do a few days before classes start in the fall?
I realize that it may not be a big deal for in state kids, but some states are huge, so many kids still need to travel far to get there and it’s a big expense.

-signed, the mother of a kid going to a school across the country and is annoyed by the cost and logistics of getting their kid to a mid summer orientation.

I think this is more likely at a big state school. My DC's school has optional summer orientation sessions (extra $) as well as a whole week of welcome activities the week before classes. We know kids who have made the beginnings of close friends at orientation but DC is skipping it.

How do you know the OP is talking about a big state school? My kids attend two different "big state schools" and both had their in-person orientation a week before classes start.

[Anonymous]

I’m not going. I’m in a new job and don’t have a lot of vacation time. Even if I hadn’t changed jobs not sure I would have gone. My daughter is ok with this. Not sure what I’d do is she was not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD is signed up to attend the orientation next month and will be staying on campus. Parent attendance is optional, but DD seems very offended when I asked her if she would mind going alone. There is a parent program, but the flight alone is $500 plus if I go my hotel room for the 3 nights will be a minimum of $1K - plus I will be missing work days. My DD is expecting me to go, so I'll probably end up going. Wondering how many parents skip this sort of thing? I will be going in August to move her in, but I didn't plan on this additional trip.

Skipped it because the costs were high, and feedback was not much value in it for the parent(s).