Your father?

[Anonymous]

Today is a good a day to ask. Love, hate or indifferent? How often do you speak with him or see him? How good of a father do you think he was?

[Anonymous]

I got my oil changed yesterday in my six month old car and while chatting with the service writer about the schedule of maintenance for my car it occurred to me that this is the one positive live lesson I got from my so-called father.

Haven’t seen or spoke to him in 25 years and zero regrets. My early childhood was a nightmare of seeing and experiencing his drunken rages and violent attacks on my mother my siblings and myself. The violence subsided somewhat by the time I was in late grade school but the fear of it was always in me and the daily cruel bullying destroyed my childhood in so many ways - I wouldn’t have an happy memories if not for the weeks every year my mother sent me to stay with my grandparents.

Out of four kids only one still speaks to him so don’t go criticizing me. The child who still speaks to him grew up practicing abuse on his little sister (me) and went on to be a wife and child abuser himself.

I don’t hate my father but I feel total indifference toward him. If you told me he was being abused by a caregiver I’d think oh snap karma is real.

[Anonymous]

He had minor flaws as a human being but he was a loving, caring, supportive, dedicated father to us all. I loved him and love going to his grave to say hello.

[Anonymous]

My dad is a good man but he was absent most of my life. Today I reflect on other father figures, like my old boyfriend’s dad, and my dead stepdads, and my dead grandpas. The only dad I call is my father-in-law.

[Anonymous]

My dad was so hilarious, sweet and gentle. He died too early and it hurts to think of the time I could have had with him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Today is a good a day to ask. Love, hate or indifferent? How often do you speak with him or see him? How good of a father do you think he was?

I guess love, but ... eh. See him? We live across the country and he's rich and I'm poor so basically just see him when he comes out here - like twice a year. I generally call every 2-3 weeks. In some ways he was a really awful father and in some ways he was great. Most things aren't black and white, OP.

[Anonymous]

He's dead so we don't talk at all
When he was alive we talked minimally, weren't particularly close
He did have moments of giving great advice. He was there for many moments encouraged me.
He showed his love by doing and providing like many men of his generation.
He wasn't perfect and had many faults.let me down many times. I was not his favorite.
But I think he did his best with the tools he had, he did
grow up with a great role model.
Maybe I would have liked a super close daddy's girl relationship and a dad who totally got me. I don't know but I do wish I still had him around. I wish his final years had been different.

[Anonymous]

Love my soon to be 85 year old father very much, and wish his memory wasn't failing. Had him and my mom over tonight to join us for Father's Day dinner. Am grateful he and mom are nearby, and am sad knowing the end is closer than ever, for both of them

[Anonymous]

I adored my father. He was kind, loving and supportive. He died 15 years ago of cancer and I still feel an almost physical pain in my heart when I think of what my children have missed.

[Anonymous]

He died several years ago. Had flaws, like everyone does—quick temper, was a perfectionist and thought others should operate at that level too, smoked and drank too much. But—He was a wonderful teacher of a number of skills, had a great sense of humor and was very generous. His own mother was awful and his dad died when he was young so he didn’t have good parent role models. He did really well considering all that. I always knew he loved me.

[Anonymous]

Wonderful dad! Of course he had flaws but I couldn’t imagine a better father. And he’s been a really great grandpa too. My dad is just always there and he doesn’t stop showing up. He constantly asks me if he can pick the kids up from school or take them to softball or when they can come over.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He had minor flaws as a human being but he was a loving, caring, supportive, dedicated father to us all. I loved him and love going to his grave to say hello.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My dad was so hilarious, sweet and gentle. He died too early and it hurts to think of the time I could have had with him.

+1000

My dad was one of my favorite people on this earth. He was loved by everyone who knew him, we never argued, he never raised his voice. He was kind and patient and funny and thoughtful and wonderful to be around. It kills me that my kids are missing out on all the things we had planned to do together. They were 6 when he died.

[Anonymous]

He was very tortured by demons I don't fully understand. As a result he was deeply, persistently abusive both physically and verbally.

He's gone now and my life is so so much calmer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I adored my father. He was kind, loving and supportive. He died 15 years ago of cancer and I still feel an almost physical pain in my heart when I think of what my children have missed.

Mine passed 12 years ago and it puts a huge lump in my throat that he isn't around for my kids to know. He wasn't perfect but he was decent, hardworking, real and loyal as they come.