Help with 9yo - screaming

[Anonymous]

My 9yo ds is my 3rd child and so different than the older two. He has what seem like temper tantrums over the slightest of things. He started ADHD meds a couple months ago, and we hoped that it would help this, but it has not (though has helped him focus at school better). Tonight, he lost his mind because older DS wouldn’t let him help with a lego set he just bought for his birthday. Younger DS was throwing things in his room, screaming at the top of his lungs, slamming doors, etc for a solid 20 minutes. Nothing we say during these outbursts seems to make a difference - like trying to reason with him or taking things away/punishments for damage he’s doing. Once he calms down, he feels bad and logically knows it wasn’t a correct response to the situation. At one point tonight, he was clinging to me, but screaming so loud I had to un-attach myself and walk away, which I now feel bad about. Would love advice for how to handle these situations in the moment to help him de-escalate. When I have tried to sit and hold him, which seems to sometimes help the most, DH says I am encouraging the behavior and coddling him, but I just don’t know what else to do.

[Anonymous]

Talking will not help; a kid who is in “send” mode cannot receive logic. Your husband is wrong about physical proximity. Keep doing that.

[Anonymous]

Could it be something besides adhd? Autism? Sensory issues? Dont compare him to your other kids and dont parent him the same.

[Anonymous]

I would move this to the special needs forum. This isn’t age appropriate behavior and is probably related to his ADHD (or any other diagnoses?) so folks on that forum will likely have better advice.