Is it character building to face challenges in a sport?
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Anonymous
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Have you found it character building for your kids to face some sort of challenge along the way in sports or not really?
Some examples would be: - have natural size or body issues that held you back at some point in time - youngest in team - not getting as much playing time suddenly - Cut from a team or made the B team - Team you’re on is consistently losing |
Anonymous
| Yep. They’ve been through all of the above over the years. |
Anonymous
It depends on the kid. Some kids could not care less if any of the above happen. Others are devastated and use these incidents as motivation to improve. Impossible to generalize |
Anonymous
| Mine has experienced all of the challenges listed. I am biased, but yes, I think they have strong character. Being on a losing team was no big deal, but getting cut and short-benched were both tough. One night, I walked in on them talking about it while they were asleep. Its kept them humble, hardworking and empathetic toward their teammates and friends. And its a reminder that school is more important - they're not going pro! |
Anonymous
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I think all of these things are why sports are wonderful! They give a kid the opportunity to experience setbacks and growth and triumph in a setting that has no inherent meaning. It’s just a game. I think sports do the same thing for adults - I compete, and training and competition give me excitement and drama and loss and triumph (and fitness) in a low stakes way.
I don’t think a smooth path - being the best at everything, always winning, coaches without human flaws - would provide any of that. |
Anonymous
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For my kid some of these challenges haven't seemed to have a positive direct impact.
But the normal challenges of having to put in a ton of work to progress at a skill, but then seeing that progress, have been incredibly character building. |
Anonymous
| yes |
Anonymous
| Yes, I think so. My son is going through some of these now and has gone through others earlier and I'm sure he will later too. Life lessons. Life isn't always fair and you should have to work hard for things you want. |
Anonymous
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Even the ones that led to a negative outcome (kid not making a team and deciding to give up a sport he previously really enjoyed) taught kid about themself, their values, and opened doors to new things. All learning experiences. I can definitely point to experiences in sports that have directly shaped the person my older teen has become. |
Anonymous
| Each of my kids has had a season where their team won every game and honestly, I didn't love it even though they did. You get nothing out of that. |
Anonymous
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It probably builds a little character, but not much in the big scheme of things.
I mean it's still a privileged activity in most instances. It's not like learning to do without something more basic or fundamental. |
Anonymous
My daughter just had a season like this. Her little league softball team won every game. They had by far the best pitcher. My daughter was probably 2nd-3rd best in the 6 team league, but barely got to pitch because the dad of the other girl was the coach and pitched her all the time. Anytime the game was close, the other girl pitched all 4 or 5 innings. Mine was the only other girl to pitch on the team, getting an inning or rarely two in a blow out. Both girls made all-stars but in different age groups. My daughter was told she wasn’t going to get to pitch because she didn’t get enough experience during the season. |
Anonymous
Hate to break it to you, but it sucks to be a softball pitcher. It's not like baseball where 5 kids are in the starting rotation and then you have relievers. Did you watch any of the College World Series? Some teams ride 1 pitcher for the Regionals, Super Regionals and the World Series because you can. The HS softball teams in the area do the same thing. I guess it's OK for a kid to throw like 600 softball pitches in a week...though it doesn't sound like it should be. |
Anonymous
That's because college softball is the pinnacle for women. They don't need to ever pitch again. |
Anonymous
| Yes, it’s been character building. It’s taught DS not to give up when faced with obstacles or rejection. It’s taught him to pick himself back up when he’s been knocked down which extends to all aspects of life. He’s learned the valuable lesson that not everyone is going to appreciate you or even like you but it doesn’t make you any less. I didn’t play sports growing up and I think it would have benefited me. He has played on losing teams and learned that it doesn’t define him but playing against better teams makes him better. He’s been relegated to a lower team but learned that sometimes it’s better to be the big fish in the small pond or that there are other coaches who will see his gifts if he puts himself in front of them. He’s learned to self-advocate and support teammates. He’s learned to confidently interact with adults. He’s learned to self-regulate instead of immediately react with strong emotions when he thinks a call is terribly unfair which will certainly help in the workforce or in interpersonal relationships. Recently, he was unexpectedly demoted from his very strong A team amidst college recruitment. His younger self would have quit and concluded he wasn’t good enough. His older self said “I know my worth and I’m going to find the right team.” And he did. He is actually in a better place for recruiting because his old team forced him to make a change he didn’t even think he needed to make. There’s a life lesson that sometimes an ending is actually an opportunity. |