Best way to respond to send who brags (about sports!)

[Anonymous]

We have a friend who brags often about sports. Our kids are in second grade just to point out how ridiculous this is and she has made multiple comments about how he might be in the NFL one day and she’s serious. She’s mentioned flag football and baseball youth dad coaches scouting her kid before. We have always been on the same team with him and our team didn’t even make it to the playoffs for other football or baseball. I think he’s a good player but I don’t think it’s a reasonable thing to say at this age. What’s a good way to respond to this? I don’t want to be rude back either but it becomes intolerable sometimes. I would like to help build him up and make her feel good but say it in a way she stops carrying on about it.

[Anonymous]

Just listen and concur. Your personal opinion doesn’t matter in this conversation with the other mom.

[Anonymous]

There is really no diplomatic way to handle this. It will just make you look (and probably feel!) like a jerk to clap back at this. Someone who is acting like this is already very low in the self-awareness department so it is unlikely even the best snappy come back would land.

I deal with this and find it very annoying so I totally get it but try to let it go!

[Anonymous]

You say, “Good for him!” and change the subject.

[Anonymous]

You must really enjoy watching him progress! Did you go to the bake sale?

[Anonymous]

We have friends who are like this with Basketball. Their kid is good, but very unlikely to even play college. They only have one kid and this is what he does.

I like the parents and kid so it doesn’t bother me. And they don’t talk about the nba anymore. When he was younger, it was more a dream for them and he was much better than the other kids.

[Anonymous]

I think if a kid plays a lot very young, it is easier to stand out and be really good. As kids get older, many more players get bigger and better. This is across all sports.

[Anonymous]

Let her talk about it and say something nice. Big deal. People complain about their kids ALL the time or talk about the struggles/failures, and that’s fine. But as soon as a parent says something good about their kid, oh that’s bragging. I wish more people would talk positively about their kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let her talk about it and say something nice. Big deal. People complain about their kids ALL the time or talk about the struggles/failures, and that’s fine. But as soon as a parent says something good about their kid, oh that’s bragging. I wish more people would talk positively about their kid.

I have teenagers and the bragging quiets down. I think people realize their kids are not as good as they thought and competition gets harder as kids age. It may be easy to stand out in your local town or county. It gets harder at the state or national level. The higher you get, the more humbling it is.

I have a tennis player who people used to tell us what a natural he was all through elementary school. He is very very good, but he isn’t D1 college recruit good. He could play for a not so good college. Tennis is his main sport, but we remind him that school comes first and tennis won’t be his career.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You must really enjoy watching him progress! Did you go to the bake sale?

This. Something non-committal and then change the subject or find a way to walk away. Distance yourself if you need to.

The best kid at 8 is not the best kid at 12 is not the best kid at 18 - not always but often. If he's really a standout great, but honestly a parent who is a braggart makes that less likely. Standouts have to have a work ethic, which means taking nothing for granted.

[Anonymous]

Ask things like how the child practice and other info, it’s a good way to learn something from parents that seem to know a lot, and it can be useful if one day your child gets passionate about the sport. If you really have no interest to hear her talking, just congrat her then change topic, or give excuse to leave or chat with others.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think it’s just about sports. I’ve had friends like this regarding academics, or music, or theater too. For all of it, I’ve just found that nodding and saying something benign like it sounds like they really enjoy it, or I’m glad they’ve found something that makes them happy, etc. then change the subject.

[Anonymous]

"I'm so glad he's having fun" even if that's not what she mentioned at all. Do not get pulled into a tit-for-tat discussion about your own kid.

Also "that's nice dear" like you are patting her on the head. Which is what she wants, right?

Look up the skits on IG/TikTok that Darryl Pendergast does as Joshie's mom. She is hilarious, and nails these women perfectly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think it’s just about sports. I’ve had friends like this regarding academics, or music, or theater too. For all of it, I’ve just found that nodding and saying something benign like it sounds like they really enjoy it, or I’m glad they’ve found something that makes them happy, etc. then change the subject.

I was a smart kid. My mom used to brag about me all the time, how I went to Harvard, etc. I really hated this growing up. Now she brags about my husband and my children.

I try not to brag about my kids. Now that I’m a parent, I understand how proud you are of your kids. I’m very proud of them.

[Anonymous]

I would just say that the dementia risks of repeated traumatic brain injuries are too great for me to consider a career in such a sport for my children.

That should shut her up quickly, because it's a fundamental difference in values. it's not that you think her child will or will not be a good enough player. It's that you think the game is not worth pursuing beyond a few years of childhood fun.