Do you want xyz?…then get it yourself!

[Anonymous]

Did anyone else have a parent do this as a kid? At the dinner table:”Would you like a water with your meal? Then get it yourself I’m not your slave!” At the park: “do you need your bicycle helmet? Then get it yourself and be responsible!” Etc. my mother would frequently as if we needed something and if we said yes she would tell us to get it ourselves. We didn’t understand why she would ask us if we wanted something to then turn around and yell at us to get it ourselves. It got to the point if she asked if we wanted something we would just say no. We are trying to figure out what the point of this was.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like she was trying to instill in you the ability to anticipate your needs.

[Anonymous]

No, sorry OP.

[Anonymous]

That's mean. And no, I've never heard of it. If she was trying to do what PP said, it sounds like that was a clunky way of doing it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That's mean. And no, I've never heard of it. If she was trying to do what PP said, it sounds like that was a clunky way of doing it.

Replying again. I would not read any big meaning into it. It's probably what her parents did to her. She may not have realized it was coming off that way. Of course you know best whether she was generally a loving person.

[Anonymous]

We only did it as a joke when watching tv. . “Do you want a soda?” <yes> “While you are up, can you get me one too?”

[Anonymous]

She's not actually asking if you need your bike helmet. She's telling you that you need it, but trying to teach you to ask yourself that question on your own initiative.

[Anonymous]

Let go.

[Anonymous]

Very underhand way of dealing with children.

[Anonymous]

This is so much a thing in my family that we have a week long reunion every summer called GIY and if anyone asks for anything, everyone around screams GET IT YOURSELF

[Anonymous]

So I do this when I've cooked a nice dinner, made separate plates for everyone in the family (because kids are weird about mixing food items, etc), and an sitting down to eat last...and then I'm one bite in and it's "mom, can I have mustard for [food normal people wouldn't xombine with mustard]?" "Mom, can you refill my water?" "I'm ready for seconds!" Then I say "I'm just starting my dinner, you can get the mustard and refill your water and wait for parents to get a first serving."

[Anonymous]

OP- think more deeply about your experiences. Did she maybe do 20 things for you and then every few days say hey get it yourself? Kids have a tendency to have no idea how self-centered and selfish they are, because it’s how kids are. Part of parenting is teaching kids to be self-sufficient and to stop thinking solely of themselves. You shouldn’t be resentful of it.

[Anonymous]

OP isn't saying they asked for something and was told get it yourself. OP is saying they'd just be sitting there and be offered something and then told get it yourself. The latter is obnoxious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is so much a thing in my family that we have a week long reunion every summer called GIY and if anyone asks for anything, everyone around screams GET IT YOURSELF

[Anonymous]

My mother did dances like this. She also did it later on and even if you said no there was a dance. She'd insist, then not do it and tell you to do it yourself.