Gifts for adult friends birthdays mid 40s
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Anonymous
| My adult friends get together 4-5x a year, usually for birthdays. Some of the girls I don’t talk to or see unless we get together. One of these girls sends me a harry and David gift box every year. She doesn’t have kids or family and when we got together for her birthday I was unprepared and didn’t have a gift for her. Am I obligated to gift people back for their birthdays? I feel so strange to be given a birthday gift at age 45, we can buy ourselves whatever we need. I gave her a card and flowers but I feel so strange. I have another such event today and have to run to the store to get a $50 gift card. Does anyone struggle with these things? Do I need to announce to these people to stop doing gifts? It’s stressing me out. I’m probably a little neurodivergent so be kind. I worry about things that most people don’t. |
Anonymous
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Can you revisit the gift giving rules of this group? sometimes these things become habit. You could suggest something like that you treat the birthday person or you do a group gift of some set dollar amount.
If others like gift giving and you like participating in these get togethers. I would just go with it. I think a gift card is fine! Sometimes, I will buy several gift cards at once (Target or Amazon) that I know I will spend if I don't give them away. |
Anonymous
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-Bottle of veuve
-Nice scarf or nice gloves or hat depending on season -fancy stationary and/or pen -indulgent chocolates |
Anonymous
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I don't struggle with it. I am happy my friends are alive another year and happy to celebrate them. I have reminders in my phone for six weeks before each person's birthday, plus a list in calendar order of each person's birthday.
A gift card is super impersonal. That's what you give the receptionist at your office. Not what you give a longtime friend (especially one who remembers your birthday each year). |
Anonymous
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Send them a gift from Adam & Eve…
https://www.adameve.com/ |
Anonymous
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We stopped doing gifts.
No one wants more stuff. |
Anonymous
Yes but I'd argue that a Harry and David gift basket is almost equally as impersonal, especially if it's the same one every year. |
Anonymous
| Since you all get together for someone's birthday I would suggest you all split the bill for the birthday person and that's that. |
Anonymous
100% agree with this - and it is perishable. The things - wine, fine chocolates are only good gifts if the recipient wants them. |
Anonymous
| Booze. |
Anonymous
| Our group does bday cards and picks up the tab for the birthday girl(s) meal and drinks. |
Anonymous
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Yes, most people at this stage of life can afford to buy whatever they want & usually gifts 🎁 are regarded as just extra clutter.
The only people who really get excited over gifts are typically kids. But if giving gifts stresses you out this much - it might be best if you simply bow out of these birthday get togethers since there is no polite way to tell someone that you do not like giving gifts…… |