Are we marriage material?
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Anonymous
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I’ve had a couple of head over heels scenarios in dating that ended up going down in flames.
Currently my boyfriend of 5 months is slow and steady. We get along well and like each other. neither is in love and both are looking for marriage. He has good strong character, and his bad traits so far are extremely minimal. I’m used to having crazy insane sparks right away. is what we have going on something that could be a good start to a marital relationship? Or is it a red flag that we aren’t in love yet? |
Anonymous
| Five months and you’re not in love?? You don’t need crazy sparks but you DO need sparks that turn into love and five months in, you should definitely be at the height of excitement. |
Anonymous
OP here. We have sparks. For instance our sex is great!!!! And the relationship is definitely more than just sex as we are friends too. But I don’t feel “in love”. I do like him and feel sexually attracted to him, and feel confident he feels the same about me. |
Anonymous
| What came out of all of your previous sparkling relationships? |
Anonymous
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"Neither is in love"?
The problem is how to define love. It's not crazy sparks, necessarily. That's chemical attraction. If there's respect and affection and loyalty... THAT is love. |
Anonymous
OP here. I would definitely say we have those three things. |
Anonymous
So then what’s your definition of “in love” if you think that you are not feeling that? |
Anonymous
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Sounds like you're both not overly into each other. |
Anonymous
| Sounds like you have confused drama with love. |
Anonymous
| How old are you? |
Anonymous
| Your boyfriend might be fine but you need to work on yourself for a few more years at least. |
Anonymous
| Five months is not much time. I couldn’t say I was in love that early. Falling in love or potential for love maybe but not in love. In love takes time and some history. |
Anonymous
| Do you get wet when you look at him |
Anonymous
| My husband and I were slow burners although very physically attracted to each other and the best $ex. I think our feelings developed slower than past relationships because we were both wary of opening up again and needed to take things slower emotionally. It’s worked out well so far and was a healthier relationship. I realized I was either falling in love with the idea of someone or falling into an unhealthy pattern with others of intense passion with lots of fighting. True love takes time to develop- I think as long as there is attraction/chemistry and respect, it’s a good relationship. |
Anonymous
| Yes not being in love is a huge red flag. Are you just friends? |