Advice: How to turn down a chair committee position for our school when I initially said yes

[Anonymous]

I just don't want to do it, I have never been actively involved in our school other than donating money to causes and attending conferences. What is a polite way of getting out of this situation?

[Anonymous]

Just be honest and to the point. Having have been ghosted by many committee chairs just letting someone know is amazing lol.

"Dear so and so, unfortunately I am not longer able to do the position of committee chair. I apologize for any inconvenience this may cause"

[Anonymous]

Honesty is the best policy.

[Anonymous]

As a board chair, just know that I’d be pissed to hear this late in the game. We have multi-year plans for chairs and officers and if one person bails after rosters are set, then it’s a scramble to adjust current plans as well as succession plans.

We have this happen every couple of years and everyone is always polite about it, but behind closed doors there’s a lot of resentment of people who commit and then back out. Usually there is plenty of time for discernment and making your decision so there’s no good reason to back out once you’re committed short of a spouse’s death or a move.

Just explaining how it feels from the other side so that you understand whatever hard feelings your decision prompts.

[Anonymous]

Just say your obligations have changed. To the pissed off PP, get a life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just say your obligations have changed. To the pissed off PP, get a life.

Agree about saying your obligations changed.
It is more than a tad inconsiderate to the people you said yes to.
-someone on a volunteer board that has had this happen.

[Anonymous]

Just be honest and take the hit. I had to give up a position because the time-commitment was ultimately unsustainable. While I felt bad about it and was no longer seen in a good light, it was for the best in the end.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just say your obligations have changed. To the pissed off PP, get a life.

I don’t get mad when people decline new obligations. I do get mad when people say yes to an obligation and then bail out. There’s a difference between setting appropriate boundaries vs. leaving others holding the bag.

Unfortunately a lot of people like to recognition of being chosen to lead something and are pleased by the accolades they get for stepping up, but don’t think past that. When the work becomes real, they quietly slink away. It’s a pattern I’m seeing in all of my post-Covid volunteer engagements.

[Anonymous]

Our board instituted a rule that if you back out of a commitment, you are responsible for finding your replacement. It’s made people more thoughtful about accepting jobs and leaving them before their term is up.

[Anonymous]

I actually would prefer you step aside than have to run everything by you if you are unable or uninterested in doing this. I was on a committee of three and we had one person step down and one person who never should have signed up for it. I preferred the honest approach - I can't do this right now - to the charade that the other person was interested or involved.

And well it is not the best look, I don't think it's that big of a deal. Things change, life happens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just don't want to do it, I have never been actively involved in our school other than donating money to causes and attending conferences. What is a polite way of getting out of this situation?

You agreed to do it when you should have said no. It's too late to bail. It's the kind of thing that, yes, will annoy the board and the staff because they now have to go looking for your replacement at the worst time of the year.

Suck it up and serve.

[Anonymous]

I’m probably going to h*ll but honestly I would just lie…say you need to help with elderly relatives who are not doing well, have been swamped with extra work projects that were dropped in your lap etc. (to be fair both of those are true in my case & has been the case for 10+ years is not new- as is the case for large numbers of middle aged moms lol)

I would try very hard to find a replacement though.

[Anonymous]

Hi, thank you for the opportunity to be on the board. I was so excited for the offer but we had a change in our situation where I’m no longer able to put in the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi, thank you for the opportunity to be on the board. I was so excited for the offer but we had a change in our situation where I’m no longer able to put in the time.

Sounds like absolute horses*** to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a board chair, just know that I’d be pissed to hear this late in the game. We have multi-year plans for chairs and officers and if one person bails after rosters are set, then it’s a scramble to adjust current plans as well as succession plans.

We have this happen every couple of years and everyone is always polite about it, but behind closed doors there’s a lot of resentment of people who commit and then back out. Usually there is plenty of time for discernment and making your decision so there’s no good reason to back out once you’re committed short of a spouse’s death or a move.

Just explaining how it feels from the other side so that you understand whatever hard feelings your decision prompts.

Wow, you're an entitled beggar.