Legal harassment post-divorce

[Anonymous]

When does unnecessary contact from an ex's attorney become legal harassment?

Background: ex displayed symptoms consistent with borderline personality disorder during separation. Made false accusations (including to the police), threatened me with libel and destruction of property, had explosive rage episodes. Due to the above I specified in the separation agreement that all communication had to happen over a parenting app and put in a no harassment clause.

Post-divorce, ex has mainly used his attorney to send accusatory emails to me. The accusations are false, demonstrably so, and at first I had my attorney send documentation back. However, it became apparent that these emails were just punitive and aimed at getting me to use my personal funds to reply. I told my attorney to say that she no longer represented me. The emails stopped for a period of months after that.

Recently, ex did not want to pay for something that is mandated in the agreement. He requested mediation on unrelated issues. When the mediator requested that he address the issue of non-payment, he cancelled the session. He then started having his attorney contacted me, trying to get me to agree to an expensive mediation process with all attorneys present. I turned this down as beyond the scope of the dispute resolution process we agreed to. They keep trying to contact me on bogus grounds and I just politely document that I've already been in communication with ex and state that he needs to contact me directly.

At what point does this legal harassment become something that a judge might take into account? Either in terms of the anti-harassment clause in our contract or adjusting shared legal custody to facilitate less contact.

[Anonymous]

You could look into your state's ethical rules for attorneys dealing with unrepresented opposing parties.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You could look into your state's ethical rules for attorneys dealing with unrepresented opposing parties.

What happens if they violated these? It looks like they weren’t supposed to tell me to do anything but get an attorney.

[Anonymous]

Can you use Chat gpt?

Unfortunately “legal harassment” is usually legal —and part of the norm

It’s called divorce law. Sometimes they call it “family” law so those professionals can talk about it in public.

Most people calm down after 3-5 years from the personal split.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You could look into your state's ethical rules for attorneys dealing with unrepresented opposing parties.

What happens if they violated these? It looks like they weren’t supposed to tell me to do anything but get an attorney.

You could google the local bar association and see if they have an ethics hotline. I don't think you will find a magical answer that will stop the harassment, unfortunately, but you may be able to file a bar complaint. Perhaps this is worth a meeting with your former attorney to discuss options and how to word a response to the attorney or find out if you can block/ignore their communications when you are unrepresented.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You could look into your state's ethical rules for attorneys dealing with unrepresented opposing parties.

What happens if they violated these? It looks like they weren’t supposed to tell me to do anything but get an attorney.

That is not accurate. No one is required to have an attorney, and it’s not unethical to communicate with you if you chose not to have one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When does unnecessary contact from an ex's attorney become legal harassment?

Background: ex displayed symptoms consistent with borderline personality disorder during separation. Made false accusations (including to the police), threatened me with libel and destruction of property, had explosive rage episodes. Due to the above I specified in the separation agreement that all communication had to happen over a parenting app and put in a no harassment clause.

Post-divorce, ex has mainly used his attorney to send accusatory emails to me. The accusations are false, demonstrably so, and at first I had my attorney send documentation back. However, it became apparent that these emails were just punitive and aimed at getting me to use my personal funds to reply. I told my attorney to say that she no longer represented me. The emails stopped for a period of months after that.

Recently, ex did not want to pay for something that is mandated in the agreement. He requested mediation on unrelated issues. When the mediator requested that he address the issue of non-payment, he cancelled the session. He then started having his attorney contacted me, trying to get me to agree to an expensive mediation process with all attorneys present. I turned this down as beyond the scope of the dispute resolution process we agreed to. They keep trying to contact me on bogus grounds and I just politely document that I've already been in communication with ex and state that he needs to contact me directly.

At what point does this legal harassment become something that a judge might take into account? Either in terms of the anti-harassment clause in our contract or adjusting shared legal custody to facilitate less contact.

So your ex has to communicate directly, except he isn’t allowed to communicate directly on your wishes, so he has his lawyer communicate with yours, and that’s harassment? A judge might care but not for the reasons you think.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When does unnecessary contact from an ex's attorney become legal harassment?

Background: ex displayed symptoms consistent with borderline personality disorder during separation. Made false accusations (including to the police), threatened me with libel and destruction of property, had explosive rage episodes. Due to the above I specified in the separation agreement that all communication had to happen over a parenting app and put in a no harassment clause.

Post-divorce, ex has mainly used his attorney to send accusatory emails to me. The accusations are false, demonstrably so, and at first I had my attorney send documentation back. However, it became apparent that these emails were just punitive and aimed at getting me to use my personal funds to reply. I told my attorney to say that she no longer represented me. The emails stopped for a period of months after that.

Recently, ex did not want to pay for something that is mandated in the agreement. He requested mediation on unrelated issues. When the mediator requested that he address the issue of non-payment, he cancelled the session. He then started having his attorney contacted me, trying to get me to agree to an expensive mediation process with all attorneys present. I turned this down as beyond the scope of the dispute resolution process we agreed to. They keep trying to contact me on bogus grounds and I just politely document that I've already been in communication with ex and state that he needs to contact me directly.

At what point does this legal harassment become something that a judge might take into account? Either in terms of the anti-harassment clause in our contract or adjusting shared legal custody to facilitate less contact.

So your ex has to communicate directly, except he isn’t allowed to communicate directly on your wishes, so he has his lawyer communicate with yours, and that’s harassment? A judge might care but not for the reasons you think.

I took it as OP saying ex is supposed to communicate only within the app, but he's having an attorney send emails and communication outside the app on his behalf.

[Anonymous]

What happens if you read those communications but don’t bother to respond at all? Or you respond with a bland generic response like “In accordance with paragraph seven of the court’s divorce order, please have your client contact me through the parenting app regarding any issues.”

In your shoes, I would create some kind of summary document that shows how often and on what issues. Like maybe an excel spreadsheet or something.

[Anonymous]

Just answer your ex. You're the problem!

[Anonymous]

just ignore.
or respond each time with "I'm following our agreement."
Unless he files a court appearance, he's blowing smoke

[Anonymous]

Hi op! Do you also have a mental disorder?