DC going to excellent school but not a great fit
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Anonymous
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DS is getting depressed about college. His choices were limited due to finances. He didn’t get into his top two choices and the rest either aren’t as strong for his major or are strong for his major and future career but not places he really wants to go. He opted for the one best for his major, internships and public transportation. He’ll graduate debt free with a degree and work experience from a top school.
He’s feeling that he failed. He had perfect stats, top ECs, great personality and liked by others. His teachers are shocked he didn’t get in to his top choices which frankly isn’t helping the situation. It makes him feel worse. How do you help them out of this? |
Anonymous
| A brilliant kid will be successful no matter which school they attend. They should know that. |
Anonymous
| You described so many positives about where he will be attending. This board and others are littered with posts about top students not getting into their top choices. It’s basically a crap shoot at the top schools, and he needs to understand that. He’s in a bubble and he needs to get out of it. He’s not attending the school yet, and from what you’ve said, it sounds like it will actually be a great fit. He needs to stop dwelling, get his mind focused on something else, and it will be better when he’s actually there living his college life. |
Anonymous
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OP, he is not alone.
Have him start checking out clubs he'd like to join, anything intriguing socially that he can get excited about. Even for kids excited about where they are going, the summer before freshman year they cannot envision the friends they will make and the times they will have, all while their high school relationships may start to wane. A summer socially adrift and filled with uncertainty, it is natural to have some angst. |
Anonymous
| At some point everyone has to learn becoming that the source of unhappiness itself comes from having too many or too specific expectations. He doesn't actually know what his life would be like at any of these places. He's as likely to develop lifelong friendships, romantic interest, learn, and secure his future where he is actually going. All that's left is for him to show up and embrace it. |
Anonymous
| Does his school have local summer events for accepted students? Meeting other kids is a way to make it feel more real and appealing. |
Anonymous
| If it's a large enough school, he'll do fine. He'll like it fine. He's find his academic and social peer group. |
Anonymous
He should listen to “Love the One your With” by Stephen Stills. If not FEGLI or URM he is going to need to develop some thick skin, as he will be passed over time and again in the future. Needs to engage with where he is going, make the best of opportunities and just keep pushing forward. |
Anonymous
| What college? |
Anonymous
| Has he started there yet? |
Anonymous
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It sounds like he got poor advice in the college application process.
Especially if the adults around him are telling him that they are shocked he didn’t get into two schools and he had very high stats (I’m assuming they aren’t actually perfect which would be 1600 and straight As in all the most rigorous classes offered at his school). If that’s the case the schools that rejected him are likely to have acceptances in the low single digits, which no one should assume acceptance. Why didn’t he apply to a larger range of potential colleges where he would be happy? |