Empty house with busy teens?

[Anonymous]

I’m finding myself in a strange predicament. Too much alone time, but still needing to be available. My 16yo has an evening job but no driver’s license just yet, and my 14yo stays pretty busy with friends. My husband occasionally works late. On days those things all align, I find myself quite lonely. At first it was novel and exciting! But lately I find myself bored. The thing is, I have to be available for rides; often my 16yo will get out of work early, or my 14 needs picking up. I feel like I’m just waiting around the house to jump into chauffeur mode.

Is there a happy medium?

[Anonymous]

A hobby that you can just leave on the table if you need to get into the car? I'm watching mindless K-dramas right now, but you could achieve the same thing with more mind-engaging beginner crochet or puzzles or something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A hobby that you can just leave on the table if you need to get into the car? I'm watching mindless K-dramas right now, but you could achieve the same thing with more mind-engaging beginner crochet or puzzles or something.

I’m currently binging The Handmaid’s Tale and feel so aimless, but maybe this is exactly what I need to do (relax!) It just feels like a waiting game and I wasn’t sure if I could make better use of my time!

[Anonymous]

If it is in the evening, I resort to shows/movies on the DVR that can be paused.

I also do a lot of audio books. Some of my driving -- to school to pick up the swimmer, then to the pool -- is long. So I listen to a book. Washington post also has great audio for most of its articles. I often put a bunch of these in my listening queue and just hit play as I drive around, walk the dog, or empty the dishwasher. You could also do podcasts.

[Anonymous]

I use those times to catch up with friends on the phone.

[Anonymous]

I always have big hopes for my evenings but they seemed to be chopped up by this waiting game. I keep a running list of small chores/projects that are one-offs with a defined beginning and end and try to do a few every week. It’s all stuff like “hang framed thing in x room”, “pack mugs from top shelf for goodwill”.

But mostly I just do dishes. And dry dishes. And unload the dishwasher.

[Anonymous]

Same situation. I talk on the phone or I visit my best friend who lives nearby is divorced, and we will hang out for just an hour or whatever until I jump to pick up

[Anonymous]

New hobby! Knit, crochet, sew, paint. Puzzles? Call/text old friends to catch up.

[Anonymous]

I'm an introvert so it's never been easy for me to make friends, particularly later in life. But I have connected with two people over the past five years (back when my kids were the same age as yours and becoming more independent). And it's been fantastic. If you have the opportunity, try to start connecting more with existing friends and finding new friends.

With one, who lives closer, I can just pop on over and we go for a walk to get some steps in and just chat. And I can leave whenever if so have to go pick up my kid. It's not often - maybe a couple times a week one week; then a couple times a month. But it breaks up that feeling of constant aloneness with nothing constructive to do.

[Anonymous]

Do you work? I only say that because I feel like I finally have some time to do a load of laundry, unload the dishwasher, take out the garbage etc. I get quick things done around the house between driving and maybe make some food to throw in the fridge for them to eat later.

Last night I called my parents and caught up on work between pickups. I talk a lot to our dog now too.

[Anonymous]

First and foremost, the 16-year-old needs to get his drivers license. Second, the 14-year-old needs a bike and long distance practice to get home from friends' houses.

[Anonymous]

Let's see. Reading, picking up a new hobby, exercising, finding a new recipe, going for a walk, bird watching, shopping for a new sundress, helping out those in need, cleaning, yoga, doing 10 new push ups a day. You seriously cannot think of anything to do? How about YouTube videos, gardening, washing your car, painting a room, calling a best friend, planning where you want to be buried, learning a new language or planning your next trip. Girl, get busy!

[Anonymous]

Get a job. Earn some money for the future and take pride in your work accomplishments.

[Anonymous]

I think it's OK to schedule something (evening class or even a project you can't drop right away) and have your teens wait a bit. 16 year old can wait at their job and do homework, 14 year old can be aware that they need to be picked up before 7 or after 9 if you have an evening class.

[Anonymous]

Exercise, read, organize something, take an online class, go out for a walk, take an in-person class, etc.

You can find SO MUCH to do! Your kids seem old enough to wait a bit if you tell them, "I'll be at yoga until 7:15 and can pick you up after that if needed."