Say something or not?

[Anonymous]

Would you say something or not?

My backyard neighbor is in her 70s, lives alone, and is very friendly to me and my kids. She does not own a dog, but she has her family member’s dog at her house 90 percent of the time, and has for at least 5 years. Maybe longer but I didn’t have my own dog before that. I’m not sure why, but for all intents and purposes he is essentially her dog.

The dog is big, looks like some kind of German shepherd lab mix. I have two small 20 lb dogs. We used to have a 4 ft picket fence between our yards and her dog actually bit one of my dogs on the nose two years ago through the fence slats. After that, we replaced the fence with a 6ft full privacy fence but the dogs still “fence fight” and bark at each other every time. A lot of the time I resort to taking my dogs out on a leash in my own fenced backyard to avoid the hullabaloo.

Right now, her dog almost always hangs out on a screened in porch with a propped open door. So he’s not left outside all day per se, but as soon as we step out, he leaps off the porch and charges toward our fence anytime between 8am and 8pm. Lately if she notices him barking and flipping out, she calls him in, but it’s only sometimes, he doesn’t really listen, and my dogs are already on edge and covered in mulch from kicking up their back paws defending their turf.

I’m honestly so sick and tired of not being able to sit on my patio or let my dogs enjoy our yard in peace. It’s been years of this and he is hogging the use of the yard constantly! He could sit on the porch with the door closed. She is retired and home and could easily let him out to do his business as needed. The only time we get a reprieve is when it’s snowy or freezing.

That said, I don’t know if it’s reasonable to request she keep the door closed more or do something different in her own yard. It’s already slightly awkward after the bite incident, which I witnessed because I was out there taking out my dog, and she did not witness because she was in her basement at the time.

This dog means a whole lot to her and she has some other family stuff going on right now. But it’s been YEARS. What would you do?

[Anonymous]

Nothing. If your dog’s nose was through the fence and got bit, that’s on you. You have a better fence now…what is there to do or say?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nothing. If your dog’s nose was through the fence and got bit, that’s on you. You have a better fence now…what is there to do or say?

With all due respect, it doesn’t matter where my dog’s nose was or wasn’t. It is never ok for another dog to bite him.

[Anonymous]

Can you put a portable fence on that end of the yard? So your dogs can’t go right up to the fence that he’s on the other side of.

[Anonymous]

We live on a small street where we know and like all our neighbors. Practically everyone has a dog. And yet none of the dogs like each other, and will bark and lunge at each other if they're nearby. So none of us hang out in our yards with our unleashed dogs, except the one neighbor whose dog is calm - but even he's supervised at all times when outside, and the owner is vigilant about calling him back and holding his collar.

It's been like this since the beginning (we were not the first to get a dog), so we don't have the "disappointment" of not relaxing outside with our unleashed dog. We just never did it.

So... you and your dogs might just have to change your lifestyle. I would not ask an old lady with her old dog to change hers.

[Anonymous]

Can you just ask her if there’s a particular time of day that the dog isn’t in the yard? If so, you can let them out then. If not, oh well.

[Anonymous]

Wait, aren’t your dogs also barking and making a ruckus? Why is it her dogs fault?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wait, aren’t your dogs also barking and making a ruckus? Why is it her dogs fault?

Not OP but we have a similar situation, and my dogs never start the barking and snarling, the dogs on the other side always do.

[Anonymous]

If you already have a privacy fence up what is there to say? She is entitled to use her yard however she chooses. It sounds like her dog stays within her yard, so there isn’t a risk of it jumping the fence into your yard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wait, aren’t your dogs also barking and making a ruckus? Why is it her dogs fault?

Yes, they are. I am not blaming her dog or saying it’s his fault. He’s just being a dog! What I am saying is that because he’s been given access to the yard at all times, it means my dogs almost never get peaceful off leash time in their own yard.

My dogs are small and don’t require hours to run around. I’m literally hoping in my mind for 5 or 10 minutes once or twice a day and he can be there the rest of the time. I honestly think my neighbor is kind, just completely oblivious to the whole dynamic and isn’t trying to create this situation or inconvenience us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you already have a privacy fence up what is there to say? She is entitled to use her yard however she chooses. It sounds like her dog stays within her yard, so there isn’t a risk of it jumping the fence into your yard.

I’m not worried about her dog jumping into our yard. And I agree that she is entitled to use her yard how she chooses, which is exactly why I’ve avoided saying anything. But she is very loving towards my dogs when we see her on walks and I don’t think she realizes she’s inadvertently set up a dynamic where it’s unpleasant to use our yard from our perspective. If I were inadvertently doing that to her and could make a simple adjustment I would actually want for her to tell me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can you just ask her if there’s a particular time of day that the dog isn’t in the yard? If so, you can let them out then. If not, oh well.

Maybe this is a nice way to ask. Thank you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can you put a portable fence on that end of the yard? So your dogs can’t go right up to the fence that he’s on the other side of.

This is an interesting idea. Possibly, although it may be tricky due to the yard slope.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait, aren’t your dogs also barking and making a ruckus? Why is it her dogs fault?

Not OP but we have a similar situation, and my dogs never start the barking and snarling, the dogs on the other side always do.

I’m sorry other people are in a similar situation but I appreciate hearing we are not the only ones.

[Anonymous]

Teach your dogs to ignore hers. It’s possible, but takes work and patience and lots of practice. Then your dogs can enjoy the yard and hers can be annoying.