Has anybody survived 2 under 2 ?

[Anonymous]

Our son is 6 months old and it has been wonderful being parents . Well things happen and we're expecting number 2 already wasn't exactly planed but ready or not . Anyone had two under two or have any advice husband and my parents are excited I'm more terrified how we're going to manage . Any tips or advice ?

[Anonymous]

I survived, but it was a long and winding road. I was basically a mess for about 16 months.

Here’s the one piece of advice I wish I had gotten: Get a night nanny. Just do it. Start saving now if you have to. Put it on a credit card if you need to. If you make six figures, just figure it out. Yes, it will cost you an arm and a leg ($312 a night, we did 4 nights a week from weeks 3-12, that’s about $12k). If the baby comes and you’re like “oh, this is easy, forget it!” (Hahahahaha) you can always cancel.

I actually went on to have a third, with a larger gap, got the night nanny I should have gotten the second time and OMG so much better.

Bonus for the future: now that they’re preschoolers, my first two are the very best of friends and it’s truly amazing to watch them together.

[Anonymous]

I had four under 2 (triplets and then one). You will survive. Lower your cleaning standards for a bit and don't expect to get much done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had four under 2 (triplets and then one). You will survive. Lower your cleaning standards for a bit and don't expect to get much done.

Intentionally planned?

[Anonymous]

I survived and it was nbd. Mine are 18m apart. They are very close and do most things together. I found pregnancy and the newborn stages as very easy though (I hate toddlers).

We had a 3rd 4 years later and it’s been harder. We dislike that age difference. She’s never been able to do anything the older two do. Can’t even read books to all 3 together, can’t play games, can’t go to amusement parks (well she goes but can’t ride much. And the stuff she does ride doesn’t appeal to the older 2). I would vote for the 2 year age difference.

[Anonymous]

16 months apart and I'm still around! You'll be fine! I loved having them so close together!

[Anonymous]

Hire help.

[Anonymous]

It’s 2 years of legit hell. But once the baby is 3 it’s so easy. Only catch is being mindful about daily 1on1 time to keep the sibling rivalry under control.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s 2 years of legit hell. But once the baby is 3 it’s so easy. Only catch is being mindful about daily 1on1 time to keep the sibling rivalry under control.

Birth to 3 is 3 years, not 2 years. I agree that the first 2 years are the hardest, but this is true after the birth of every child IMO. When my third was born by middle child was 21 months and my oldest child was 4 years and 2 months, so 2 under 2 plus an older child. We survived, but now that my youngest is 22 months it feels easier. I also agree that each subsequent year until your youngest child is 5 feels easier.

What helped or would have helped? I agree that have help, whether it be a night nanny (we never had one), a nanny or babysitter during the day, or grandparents helping is key.

[Anonymous]

My sisters are 11 months apart (May 1977 and April 1978) and my mom survived. Bonus: my mom also survived alone with my oldest sister, while pregnant, during the Blizzard of 78 in Boston.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My sisters are 11 months apart (May 1977 and April 1978) and my mom survived. Bonus: my mom also survived alone with my oldest sister, while pregnant, during the Blizzard of 78 in Boston.

My mother did too Long Island

[Anonymous]

Of course you will survive. My sons were 17 months apart and my DH traveled every week and grocery delivery did not exist. It’s a busy few years, but then you are done with the baby gates and they will share toys. Align their nap schedule so you have a few hours to yourself.

[Anonymous]

I had a 3yo and twin infants. It was a lot of work but it was fine. I think "I survived" is the wrong mindset. Generally, a lot of the parenting narrative is so negative. I think that time was absolutely precious. It was physically hard but mentally so rewarding. Good luck, enjoy your babies.

[Anonymous]

It isn't happening right now, but IF your oldest starts having a huge preference for Mom at 12 months of age (and you are going to have the 2nd when the oldest is 15 months) then please practice saying "Mom is busy, Dad will help you." in a nice gentle tone (not an apology tone, not a I'm so guilty I can't you me right now tone) and then have Dad handle whatever it is the baby wants (more food, the right sippy cup, some hugs and snuggles.) That isn't to say YOU should stop completely at 12 months, of course you shouldn't, but some many mothers give in and when they have a 2nd baby, the older doesn't understand that NOW she really can't help (because nursing baby, doing whatever for baby). And THAT sound of your older one's crying will make you feel really guilty!

So practice if it happens before the 2nd baby is born.

[Anonymous]

You will be fine!!! It is hard but adding a second is always hard unless you have a big gap. You will deal with less sibling rivalry when baby comes home as a just one year old is going to be pretty unphased by a sibling. I know a few people with this gap and it is awesome now that kids are older - built in playmates. Mine are 18 months apart and it is great!