Not sure about my sexuality

[Anonymous]

I’m a 40 year old woman who has lived life as a “straight” woman my whole life. I am physically attracted to men and women. I am also physically attracted to trans women.

In my 20s I experimented with a couple of women but found I was not interested sexually when it came time to do sexual acts with them I didn’t like it. even though I find looking at women sexually arousing. So I exclusively dealt with men thereafter.

With men I like having sex with them but I am not emotionally attracted to men. I know not all men are the same, but there are a lot of similarities and the older I get the more turned off by men’s personalities. I don’t know if this may actually be me being turned off by sexism, but either way men just do not satisfy me emotionally in relationships. I do like women emotionally.

I would really like to find a partner and have been thinking maybe me classifying myself as straight was incorrect? Is there some other name for a person like me? Or the type of person I would work well in a relationship with?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a 40 year old woman who has lived life as a “straight” woman my whole life. I am physically attracted to men and women. I am also physically attracted to trans women.

In my 20s I experimented with a couple of women but found I was not interested sexually when it came time to do sexual acts with them I didn’t like it. even though I find looking at women sexually arousing. So I exclusively dealt with men thereafter.

With men I like having sex with them but I am not emotionally attracted to men. I know not all men are the same, but there are a lot of similarities and the older I get the more turned off by men’s personalities. I don’t know if this may actually be me being turned off by sexism, but either way men just do not satisfy me emotionally in relationships. I do like women emotionally.

I would really like to find a partner and have been thinking maybe me classifying myself as straight was incorrect? Is there some other name for a person like me? Or the type of person I would work well in a relationship with?

You sound bisexual to me. LGBT people are not a monolith have a variety of preferences. Do you have any LGBT friends that you can talk to?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am physically attracted to men and women. I am also physically attracted to trans women.

This is called being bisexual.

[Anonymous]

oh honey, just get it when you can and enjoy it. you're in your 40s for goodness sakes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a 40 year old woman who has lived life as a “straight” woman my whole life. I am physically attracted to men and women. I am also physically attracted to trans women.

In my 20s I experimented with a couple of women but found I was not interested sexually when it came time to do sexual acts with them I didn’t like it. even though I find looking at women sexually arousing. So I exclusively dealt with men thereafter.

With men I like having sex with them but I am not emotionally attracted to men. I know not all men are the same, but there are a lot of similarities and the older I get the more turned off by men’s personalities. I don’t know if this may actually be me being turned off by sexism, but either way men just do not satisfy me emotionally in relationships. I do like women emotionally.

I would really like to find a partner and have been thinking maybe me classifying myself as straight was incorrect? Is there some other name for a person like me? Or the type of person I would work well in a relationship with?

Would it help if I put on a little black dress and heels for you?

[Anonymous]

Specifically why is labeling this important to you? You've been clear about your feelings in how you relate to women and men. There's nothing wrong with thinking about it and trying to label it, and maybe there would be an emotional benefit, but it's not clear from your question whether it's worth the effort.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Specifically why is labeling this important to you? You've been clear about your feelings in how you relate to women and men. There's nothing wrong with thinking about it and trying to label it, and maybe there would be an emotional benefit, but it's not clear from your question whether it's worth the effort.

Why do you care if she wants to label it? It’s perfectly normal to want to know what something means about yourself and how you fit into everything.

[Anonymous]

OP, I can understand your frustration. People say don't use labels, but we are all something.

My world can be very confusing. I will look at women in public but almost never men. I enjoy sex with both men and women and find pros and cons with each. Have been emotionally involved with both, but don't like the inherent games men and women play with each other. On the man to man side, I once fell in love with a man, but absolutely could not be one of those gay couples getting married that you see in the NYT.

It's a strange world to occupy, and like you, would like to find a partner to have a committed relationship. What sex that person will be I have no idea.

[Anonymous]

I'm a 50 year old woman who prefers sex with men but really can't stand being around them otherwise these days because I'm exhausted by their personalities, entitlement, misogyny, and warmongering.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I can understand your frustration. People say don't use labels, but we are all something.

My world can be very confusing. I will look at women in public but almost never men. I enjoy sex with both men and women and find pros and cons with each. Have been emotionally involved with both, but don't like the inherent games men and women play with each other. On the man to man side, I once fell in love with a man, but absolutely could not be one of those gay couples getting married that you see in the NYT.

It's a strange world to occupy, and like you, would like to find a partner to have a committed relationship. What sex that person will be I have no idea.

Why not? External reasons? Or just don't want to be around a man 24/7?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a 50 year old woman who prefers sex with men but really can't stand being around them otherwise these days because I'm exhausted by their personalities, entitlement, misogyny, and warmongering.

Who on earth are you around that's warmongering on a daily basis? That sounds like you just need to find a new circle. I don't spend my time around anyone who is any of the bolded.