DH’s passive behavior is a turn off

[Anonymous]

In general, outside of the home, DH is very passive and doesn’t speak up for himself or things. For example - if his food order is wrong, he won’t say anything. Most recently, he got a tattoo that he wanted a certain way, and it was not done how he wanted. Before he got it, we talked about how he’ll need to speak up to make sure it’s right, but he comes home with a botched tattoo that looks like a 16 year old did it.

Things like this don’t personally affect me, so I stay quiet, but it’s such a turn off. I think it’s even more of a turn off because when it comes to me or the kids, he has NO issue speaking up for what he wants or expects, to include cussing and yelling. But he can’t say a peep to anyone else.

Just venting here.

[Anonymous]

OP here. As I’m thinking, I think what also makes it worse is we have a child who is extremely socially anxious (which likely stems from DH) but DH will punish and be so upset with our child for underperforming in social settings, like sports games. It just seems so hypocritical.

[Anonymous]

Get a divorce. Not kidding.

[Anonymous]

Yep let's blame the DH. Mommy is perfect and DH is responsible with their kids social anxiety.

[Anonymous]

Divorce.

[Anonymous]

If it was DH complaining about his DW, would some of you still recommend divorce?

[Anonymous]

This seems like something you had to have known going into the marriage, so what changed that it’s so repulsive to you now? Or did he somehow pretend to assert himself while you were dating?

Also, people like him should just know themselves and decline to make body modifications like a tattoo. Why set yourself up for failure if you don’t have to? We all have our own personal limits.

[Anonymous]

Your husband yells and cusses at you and your kids, and punishes your kid for being socially anxious? Way to bury the lede. That’s your actual issue.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like he is and feels inadequate in other areas of his life so he lashes out at you and the kids.

Don’t put up with that shit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In general, outside of the home, DH is very passive and doesn’t speak up for himself or things. For example - if his food order is wrong, he won’t say anything. Most recently, he got a tattoo that he wanted a certain way, and it was not done how he wanted. Before he got it, we talked about how he’ll need to speak up to make sure it’s right, but he comes home with a botched tattoo that looks like a 16 year old did it.

Things like this don’t personally affect me, so I stay quiet, but it’s such a turn off. I think it’s even more of a turn off because when it comes to me or the kids, he has NO issue speaking up for what he wants or expects, to include cussing and yelling. But he can’t say a peep to anyone else.

Just venting here.

Troll

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If it was DH complaining about his DW, would some of you still recommend divorce?

Yes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like he is and feels inadequate in other areas of his life so he lashes out at you and the kids.

Don’t put up with that shit.

This. You’re the only ones he actually feels power over. I would not tolerate that.

[Anonymous]

Kick down wimp up. Asshat. Counseling for him or divorce

[Anonymous]

without commenting on the other impacts, which I believe you about , this is the stereotyical behavior of a lot of women without the likely excuses for socialization

[Anonymous]

It’s VERY common that when people are too scared to speak up to strangers, work, etc, they take it out on their spouses and kids by yelling and cussing.

I would not tolerate him treating you or the kids that way. What do you do when he does that? If my H ever yelled at me or the kids I’d yell right back, and I’m a lot louder.