How do I correct info dumping in 15 yr asd son?
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
|
My son loves to infodump on me, and I don’t know what to do. He is obsessed with the history of subdivisions and housing types—like which ones are starter homes and which are more high-end. I like it, but sometimes I don’t want to hear about it. I can tell he wants to stop, but once he gets going, it’s hard to stop.
He does not have this problem at school, as he doesn’t talk much and has no friends due to the peer group being iffy. He gets good grades, he’s polite, and he has no other issues—but this stands out to me. What should I do? |
Anonymous
| Mine does this too but over a much wider subject area. I treat it like every other conversation. If I don’t have time or just can’t listen I shut it down. “Can we talk about this later?” “I’m busy right now?” “You know I’m really not that into cars?” “Did you notice my eyes are glazing over?” Whatever. It’s NBD for us. But truth is, mine is so interesting because of the depth of his knowledge of some subjects. |
Anonymous
“But truth is, mine is so interesting because of the depth of his knowledge of some subjects.” That’s exactly how I feel with my son he knows the builders, original prices, how they fared in 08, the owner occupant to renter ratio by subdivision and area of subdivision, everything. It makes me Wonder if I should shut him down, or foster this. |
Anonymous
The information itself isn't the problem, and you can encourage that without encouraging the interpersonally rude part of treating other people as objects -- just vessels for him to talk at and dump information into without any regard for their desires, needs, and feelings. Information is cool. Treat other people well, and let them make their own decisions about how they spend their time. Two different things. |
Anonymous
Thanks. |
Anonymous
| Infodumping is how neurodivergent folks connect. Don't correct it! If you really can't listen at a particular time, you can tell him that, but do your best to listen (or at least pretend to listen). Find books or shows about his special interests that you can read/watch together. Help him find a community of others with that interest so they can infodump together. |
Anonymous
I agree with this. I don't think it's seeing another person as a "vessel" it's just a way of connecting that's a little odd if you're not autistic. Lots of my friends are autistic adults, and I always see it as an expression of friendship, because that's what it is. |
Anonymous
| My son told me infodumping with me makes him really happy so I’m fine with it! I think the key is to maybe try to steer him towards a different subject that might be a tiny more engaging. (My son is really into B movies so that’s actually fun to talk about, to a point.) |
Anonymous
This. Plenty of people like to “geek out” over their interests. Autistic kids just tend to have interests more obscure and more intense. |
Anonymous
|
In the moment though you can try a verbal interruption procedure to redirect. (Look this up). Big picture though Id ask myself if he can make a career with this knowledge? If so then help expand it rather than shut it down. I’d say something like wow this is so interesting. What do you think about X, Y, and Z? Can you go find out for me? Make these X, Y, Z questions things he doesn’t know. Maybe check out some realtor education books, landscaping design, city planning, etc. Take him to the library and see what interests him.
Maybe you can meet with a realtor and ask about some ways to expand and evolve the knowledge he has. Or take him to home shows and open houses and let him work on his social skills and info dump to someone new. Take him to the zoning and planning committee meetings and let him ask a question. Is he high functioning enough to get a job? He can help a landscaper or builder or developer. What about volunteering for habitat for humanity? Job at a local hardware store? All of this won’t stop him but it might give you new info to listen to and spark a potential career path and help social skills. I’d also work on reciprocal communication skills. |
Anonymous
|
I’d be honest, because he’s old enough to learn how his actions affect others. I have an NT partner who does this somewhat, and it’s annoying. Explain to him that most people have reciprocal conversations and that brings enjoyment to both people. Ask him if he would be interested in hearing every fact you know about some topic you know would bore him. Explain that so he understands your point of view and then acknowledge that you get that his talking makes him happy, but you have limited time for it and establish a consistent way to signal to him that this isn’t the time.
Can he record his thoughts on camera? Would that make him as happy? Can you set a timer for listening? While you can accommodate him at home, be sure he understands that others will not be as kind, as you want to prepare him for adult life in small increments. He sounds very smart! |
Anonymous
|
Ask him to put it into a homemade book or a PowerPoint slideshow.
This will help him present it better. And for when you can sit in the couch and are in a good mood to hear it. Not at like 5:30 while you are trying to start dinner. 
Over time you can use this as a way for him to learn to put some stuff into the slide and not *everything* has to be verbally spoken during the presentation. So some stuff as a reference for reading, some stuff spoken. This might help him develop a filter for more pleasant conversations. My 10yo is like this. My 13yo is not, but makes slides for different stuff. This is what made me think of it. |
Anonymous
| He needs his own YouTube channel where he can info dump to his fellow housing nerds. Will be super successful! Congratulations on having a son with a viable professional specialty. Sign him up for some urban planning classes online. This stuff matters and he can really make a difference in the world this way. |
Anonymous
When you can tell that he wants to stop, I would ask him about that. Does he want your help in stopping? What can you do to assist him to stop if that what he really wants to do? |
Anonymous
| Tell me 5 cool things about history of housing types each day. No more. |