Writing my Will

[Anonymous]

So my wife and I have Wills but they are amost 17 years old. Our oldest is now 18 and youngest 16. The Wills were written before our 2nd kid was even born so we wanted to rewrite them now that we know we will only have these two children and we know our extended families better (nieces and nephews, etc.) We know what we want to do in case either me or my wife dies. The money goes to the other. We know what we want to do if we both die. The money goes to the two kids equally. But in reading my Will, I don't remember going over the following scenarios but we did. If only one child is alive and the other child has passed but has a family. Half goes to the child that's alive and half goes to the deceased child's family. Is this what most people do? It's hard to give half to people that don't even exist yet. What if it's just a wife that we don't like and she get's remarried, etc. etc. Any thoughts? And what if all 4 of us die together and the kids do not have any family. It would go to our siblings and nieces and nephews. But what if my wife and I don't see eye to eye on who gets what? She'd like to give a larger portion to her brother's son because she doesn't like the others, where I would rather give a larger portion to my sister's kids. Have any of you had this issue? How do you resolve it without getting into an argument with your spouse? Thanks. How many different crazy scenarios do you plan for? Thanks.

[Anonymous]

You can write a will now and always rewrite it again if a child gets married. I wouldn’t try and plan now for future spouses/children while your kids are 16/18.

[Anonymous]

For the first scenario, the inheritance should be split evenly between the 2 children. If one is deceased, his portion should go to his descendants- so not a wife. The money will go to your grandchildren.

For the second scenario, it should be split evenly between the siblings, or between the nieces & nephews. Writing up specific amounts for different people is a nightmare. With luck, this will won’t be in play for another 20-30 years, so much can change with your or her favorite nieces & nephews- don’t go down that path. Just split evenly, knowing that most likely that situation will never arise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So my wife and I have Wills but they are amost 17 years old. Our oldest is now 18 and youngest 16. The Wills were written before our 2nd kid was even born so we wanted to rewrite them now that we know we will only have these two children and we know our extended families better (nieces and nephews, etc.) We know what we want to do in case either me or my wife dies. The money goes to the other. We know what we want to do if we both die. The money goes to the two kids equally. But in reading my Will, I don't remember going over the following scenarios but we did. If only one child is alive and the other child has passed but has a family. Half goes to the child that's alive and half goes to the deceased child's family. Is this what most people do? It's hard to give half to people that don't even exist yet. What if it's just a wife that we don't like and she get's remarried, etc. etc. Any thoughts? And what if all 4 of us die together and the kids do not have any family. It would go to our siblings and nieces and nephews. But what if my wife and I don't see eye to eye on who gets what? She'd like to give a larger portion to her brother's son because she doesn't like the others, where I would rather give a larger portion to my sister's kids. Have any of you had this issue? How do you resolve it without getting into an argument with your spouse? Thanks. How many different crazy scenarios do you plan for? Thanks.

This is actually pretty easy/common, and any trusts/estates attorney can walk you through it in no time at all. The what-if-my-wife-and-I-don't-agree part is harder.

[Anonymous]

If one child has died then pass it 1/2 to surviving child and 1/2 split equally among deceased child's children (not spouse).

[Anonymous]

We planned out lots of scenarios, down the family line.

But are you working w a professional? If not, I wouldn’t bother. My parent had a crappy lawyer, who got disbarred, and so now it’s a crappy situation. His wishes won’t be heeded. If you really care, spend the $$ on a good lawyer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If one child has died then pass it 1/2 to surviving child and 1/2 split equally among deceased child's children (not spouse).

In a trust for the surviving grand children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If one child has died then pass it 1/2 to surviving child and 1/2 split equally among deceased child's children (not spouse).

In a trust for the surviving grand children.

This^^^

You typically want to avoid giving it to your kid's spouse/partner, in case they remarry and direct the money to themselves and kids in the new marriage.

[Anonymous]

Yes, we had an estate attorney write our original Will. We will work with her again (or someone else) but first, my wife and I are trying to get on the same page with some of the things that were written in our original Will before we meet with an attorney.

[Anonymous]

It’s fine and responsible to do estate planning but you can’t get that obsessive about the what ifs.

I mean we have a trust that can last for 1,000 years or something insane. I’m sure ghost me won’t approve of all those grandchildren, but I’m not going to sweat it. Make the terms broad and reasonable and prioritize the people who are alive over the people who are dead.

Trying to tie up all of your what ifs and whosits is much more likely to harm the people you love than anything else.

[Anonymous]

I would split evenly. Remember if you die first, the spouse can change the will completely. You’ll be dead, so you won’t know. There’s only so much you can control.

[Anonymous]

"Half goes to the child that's alive and half goes to the deceased child's family. Is this what most people do?" YES. this is normal. do not inherit one child's kids just because they had the misfortune of losing their parent young.

"It's hard to give half to people that don't even exist yet. What if it's just a wife that we don't like and she get's remarried, etc." - If inheritor is under a certain age, leave it in trust and have the trustee be someone you like.

as for if all four of you die, that's unlikely to happen. use generic language your lawyer can give leaving to everyone equally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Half goes to the child that's alive and half goes to the deceased child's family. Is this what most people do?" YES. this is normal. do not disinherit one child's kids just because they had the misfortune of losing their parent young.

"It's hard to give half to people that don't even exist yet. What if it's just a wife that we don't like and she get's remarried, etc." - If inheritor is under a certain age, leave it in trust and have the trustee be someone you like.

as for if all four of you die, that's unlikely to happen. use generic language your lawyer can give leaving to everyone equally.

*do not disinherit one child's kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would split evenly. Remember if you die first, the spouse can change the will completely. You’ll be dead, so you won’t know. There’s only so much you can control.

not if they leave it in trust with the children as remainder men.