On a slippery slope at work?

[Anonymous]

I'm a married woman, with a husband who travels a lot. We don't have a lot of physical or emotional intimacy, but we are very good friends. At work, I tend to have "work husbands" but would never cross a line. I recoil at the idea of affairs.

I have a harmless crush on my most recent work husband. He is divorced. He and I work closely and support each other a lot. We have lunch often -- we greatly enjoy each other's company. To avoid unnecessary gossip, we are discreet when we have lunch together.

My best friend at work (a woman) has noticed. The other day, out of the blue she warned me about whether I might be on a slippery slope. I didn't appreciate her unsolicited advice, but it got me thinking: perhaps he might be getting the wrong idea? Am I, indeed, on a slippery slope? Again, I have no interest on anything physical due to all possible complications. I just love his company.

[Anonymous]

If you tell your husband about it, no.
If you aren’t telling your husband about it, yes.

[Anonymous]

THe fact that you are being discreet is a problem. You need to be inviting others to join you.
and if your friend asked, i am wondering if he has a history.

[Anonymous]

Perception is sometimes the actual killer, not the deed itself, OP. Even though there's nothing happening between you two, some people, like this woman, are the type to think that it might. I have been on the receiving end of this and it sucks to have people at work thinking nasty things about you. I would encourage you to make it less discreet, and to not always do things as a couple. Be part of a group. Mention your husband positively in other people's hearing while he's present. Protect yourself from the rumor mill.

[Anonymous]

If tongues are starting to wag then yes, you’re on the slippery slope.

[Anonymous]

I think you should have a conversation with your work husband where you set the tone. Use the phrase "like a brother to me." That should do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you tell your husband about it, no.
If you aren’t telling your husband about it, yes.

I've told my husband I have lunch with him, but not about the frequency or the discretion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:THe fact that you are being discreet is a problem. You need to be inviting others to join you.
and if your friend asked, i am wondering if he has a history.

Thank you. I see the point and will invite others sometimes. I just greatly enjoy the one-on-one interaction.

[Anonymous]

You have not been as discreet as you think. Find your 1 on 1 interaction somewhere else.

[Anonymous]

Avoid the one on one meetings with this man. Only have group lunches.

The fact you call this man a work husband is telling.

[Anonymous]

Others have noticed iat your workplace.

[Anonymous]

"Don't sh!t where you eat."

[Anonymous]

Yes.
You’re straddling the fence with this work husband.

[Anonymous]

The fact that you sneak around to have lunch together is questionable.

[Anonymous]

-sneak around
-when people here suggest you invite others, you note how much you enjoy the 1:1 time
-you have acknowledged your crush at to yourself
-annoyed at a friend who appears to suggest you quash your fun


Yes, you are on a slippery slope.