Being a Parent for a GK

[Anonymous]

My nine year old wants to be in goal; up until now, she's actively avoided it.

As a parent-spectator, it's worse than I imagined and she hasn't even allowed a goal (thanks in large part to the low number of shots on goal).

[Anonymous]

How so?

My kid thrives in the goal and I love to watch him there.

[Anonymous]

Just wait until a tournament is on the line in a PK shootout. Just finishing third year as GK parent and it’s still excruciating to watch shootouts.

[Anonymous]

Just know you will have higher blood pressure than the other parents 😂.

Gks are a different breed. They need to have the shortest memory but the thickest skin. Also they have to have a little cray cray in them to play that position.

They get blamed all the time. Every other player can make multiple mistakes a game, but it only takes one for the gk to give up a goal.

[Anonymous]

It's nerve-wracking. I usually found myself pacing and holding my breath any time the ball was near him. He thrived on the action, and was a smart player: knew where the ball would go, and didn't jump at the fake stuff.

And when they lost, he felt the weight on his shoulders (even though we reminded him it got through 10 other players before it got through you), when they won, felt great, and when he had a clean sheet, he was estatic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My nine year old wants to be in goal; up until now, she's actively avoided it.

As a parent-spectator, it's worse than I imagined and she hasn't even allowed a goal (thanks in large part to the low number of shots on goal).

Do you have a question or issue or what?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just wait until a tournament is on the line in a PK shootout. Just finishing third year as GK parent and it’s still excruciating to watch shootouts.[/]

The worst! My DC had to do that when they were younger, back when they rotated more. I am so glad GK didn’t “stick”.

[Anonymous]

It is hard. I never enjoyed soccer again once my kid switched to GK. It is all highs and lows. You also find yourself irrationally mad at defenders and other players when they make mistakes.

[Anonymous]

We are coming up on the end of DD's soccer career (GK since U10) and I am going to miss it like hell. She has welcomed the burden of backstopping a lot of offensively inept teams. She learned early a lot of what has been said above (short memory, recognizing that others get to skate by anonymously with multiple mistakes, but everyone knows if she makes one). It all started when her coach left her for all 16 goals of a 16-0 loss when she was a U11 playing up with the U12s.

As for me, I welcomed her taking on the burden and responsibility of the position. I only enforced one rule: you get 1 hour to sulk or feel bad, then move on to the next training or game. And yes, I have bitten my tongue (a lot) in frustration when a mistake (or series of mistakes) by her teammates has left all the clueless parents looking at her after a tough goal or loss.

There have been plenty of tears (almost always after PK losses) but I wouldn't give up the last 10 years for anything and (if you can't tell) I am proud as hell of her.

[Anonymous]

It’s hard as a GK mom. DS started to specialize at u10 and went all in at u11. He’s now u17. Sometimes I have to close my eyes because I can’t bear to watch. It’s stressful! But my GK loves it. The key is to find a supportive team where coaches, teammates and parents don’t point fingers. DS has been lucky in that respect because he can be so hard on himself. I encourage all GK parents to join the FB group Soccer Goalkeeper Parent Life. It’s a very supportive online community where I have learned a lot.

[Anonymous]

It took my DS until U11 (U14 now) to really get the emotional control part of playing goal in place.

I will say that the best thing we ever did was be part of teams that had two keepers and rotated them both in the field and goal through U12s. Not only did it build my son's ball skills (immensely helpful in many respects) but it also gave him an outlet to help with the emotional part of the position when he was younger.

The worst feeling (as a player and parent) is making a mistake in goal as a U-Little and having to stay there the rest of the game. Being able to play in the field gave my son an outlet to start fresh and enjoy the game.

And yes, as a GK-parent, PKs and dead ball plays are the absolute worst to watch from the sidelines.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The key is to find a supportive team where coaches, teammates and parents don’t point fingers.

I second this statement. Very hard to find, but incredibly great when you find it.

[Anonymous]

Oh God I wake up in the middle of the night sometimes thinking about PK shoot outs! It's so hard to be the GK parent. But also so rewarding. I appreciate the mental toughness my son has developed. And me too. I have at times had to talk to parents separately to say "hey your kid gave mine a hard time and that's really not cool", especially at the u littles when they dont understand the full picture and its so easy to blame the goalie. A team with multiple goalies so they all fewl.the burden is useful when starting out. Find a supportive team. And consider outside training because most clubs don't give it during the normal course of practice. Other parents get to watch the game to see what their kid does right and they shrug off the mistakes. Its the opposite for goalie.

[Anonymous]

Get a coach to show your kid how to protect self- they will get run over and kicked and there are ways to protect and most teams do NOT do goalie training.