FCPS high school party culture?

[bbb863]

I went to a "top" public high ​school in a wealthy part of Florida. The party culture was insane. Kids from my AP classes were blacking out every weekend, smoking whatever they could find, hooking up with multiple partners, etc. It wasn't fringe behavior; that was the prevailing culture.

I’m really hoping FCPS is different. I know teen drinking and smoking rates are down nationwide, but I’m also hoping that the high school culture here is less hedonistic and reckless than what I grew up with. Not just the same mess with better college outcomes.

Would love a reality check from those who’ve been through the high school years here.

[Anonymous]

bbb863 wrote:I went to a "top" public high ​school in a wealthy part of Florida. The party culture was insane. Kids from my AP classes were blacking out every weekend, smoking whatever they could find, hooking up with multiple partners, etc. It wasn't fringe behavior; that was the prevailing culture.

I’m really hoping FCPS is different. I know teen drinking and smoking rates are down nationwide, but I’m also hoping that the high school culture here is less hedonistic and reckless than what I grew up with. Not just the same mess with better college outcomes.

Would love a reality check from those who’ve been through the high school years here.

Seriously? Is this some kind of bait for a weird tell all? GTFO

[bbb863]

Relax. I'm an elementary parent asking for a read on the culture before we get there.

[Anonymous]

Yes, the prevailing culture in FCPS schools is generally not as out of control as the experience you describe in Florida, but kids do party, parents may or may not know the extent of it, and it's going to depend on your kids' peer groups.

[Anonymous]

some popular kids have tons of parties, but my dd isn't popular so she never attends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:some popular kids have tons of parties, but my dd isn't popular so she never attends.

This.

Your kid can find kids who party and kids who just hang out without partying.

One of mine was not a partier, but almost all of their friends were, except for the 2 mormon kids.

They would still go to the parties and hang out with their partying friends, leaving when the party got too wild or when kids started puking.

The partying kids generally have at least a few parents in the group that are happy to either look the other way, or actually provide the booze.

One in our area was notorious for this. Every weekend, their house and yard looked like a 1980s teen movie, with kids passed out on the lawn and sidewalk, alcohol bottles left in front of neighbors houses, kids getting stoned in the backyard and woods behind the houses.

The girl was a popular cheerleader, and the parents liked being the cool parents. Their house was notorious, and neighbors were always complaining behind their back.

They were the exception though. Usually, it is not that bad.

[Anonymous]

From what I’ve seen, teens are way less crazy than we were in the 90s (I am comparing FCPS to FCPS.) I don’t know if it’s just my kids, or I’m not in the loop or what, but it’s a lot less wild.

[Anonymous]

Fairfax County native here. Over 20 years in “nice” Fairfax County neighborhood. Raised 4DC - now college graduates and students.

Most shocking are parents who buy booze, host coed sleepovers, host or organize happy hours and or tailgate ahead of youth sports games.

Several years ago EMTs extricated both a drunk mom AND a HS student from the stadium bathroom and had to triage/prioritize the student and transport her first - both were vomiting.

The parents throw huge parties for themselves early on and so this grows to involve their preteens so by middle school the partying parents have socially engineered, set expectations and paved the way to have a party house for DC!

What’s changed since DH and I were Fairfax County teenagers: parents are home for the parties. They buy and supply it all.

The whole mindset of HS social life equivalent to a Tailgate State college experience! Parents fully invested in this and drive the narrative; tailgating, pre-partying, after-parties, etc.

Can think of a few HS students who had DWI charges by senior year.

Or, parents take a vacation and leave the teens home alone and low key encouraging DC to have a few friends over, no questions asked.

[Anonymous]

When does the partying start?

--9th grader has zero interest in that scene but wondering if that will change.

Kids are very scheduled these days compared to the 90s.

[Anonymous]

PP back to say, get to know your DC’s friends and their parents. It can be done. Drive carpool - my mom hint for intelligence gathering. Volunteer at/for student activities, especially in MS so you can see for yourself and observe peers in action. I worked the snack bar, set up/clean up post events, chaperoned/drove/attended games, etc.

There are definitely parent-run cliques. Typically falls along the lines of youth sports, then specific HS teams.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When does the partying start?

--9th grader has zero interest in that scene but wondering if that will change.

Kids are very scheduled these days compared to the 90s.

PP and hate to tell you this but 6th grade can begin but early partying hits stride in 7th/8th.
Something to consider as some FCPS have 6/7/8 in middle school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When does the partying start?

--9th grader has zero interest in that scene but wondering if that will change.

Kids are very scheduled these days compared to the 90s.

PP and hate to tell you this but 6th grade can begin but early partying hits stride in 7th/8th.
Something to consider as some FCPS have 6/7/8 in middle school.

Also - to your point of being very scheduled-this can work towards your advantage. My DC got really into health and personal fitness and wanted to keep their positions on their HS sports teams. Lots of time spent on conditioning, learning about nutrition, even meal planning and prep. No place for drugs and alcohol. I’d say 3/4 are social drinkers and one is an avowed teetotaler due to a chronic health condition.

Very fortunate that one DC made friends with a group of classmates in ES and that solid group of friends added a few more nice kids - and they are still friends and some roommates all through college.

I see the opposite in a close family member whose DC has no activities and entirely too much free time and money.

[Anonymous]

Sports helps for sure. I always hear parents sneer at those of us who have our kiddos enrolled in sports but those kids for the most part are typically late to the party (hehe) since they have so many sporting commitments.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Fairfax County native here. Over 20 years in “nice” Fairfax County neighborhood. Raised 4DC - now college graduates and students.

Most shocking are parents who buy booze, host coed sleepovers, host or organize happy hours and or tailgate ahead of youth sports games.

Several years ago EMTs extricated both a drunk mom AND a HS student from the stadium bathroom and had to triage/prioritize the student and transport her first - both were vomiting.

The parents throw huge parties for themselves early on and so this grows to involve their preteens so by middle school the partying parents have socially engineered, set expectations and paved the way to have a party house for DC!

What’s changed since DH and I were Fairfax County teenagers: parents are home for the parties. They buy and supply it all.

The whole mindset of HS social life equivalent to a Tailgate State college experience! Parents fully invested in this and drive the narrative; tailgating, pre-partying, after-parties, etc.

Can think of a few HS students who had DWI charges by senior year.

Or, parents take a vacation and leave the teens home alone and low key encouraging DC to have a few friends over, no questions asked.

When I was at TJ in the early 00s there was a family that was notorious for enabling the biggest parties at the school. I don't think parents being involved is that new.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sports helps for sure. I always hear parents sneer at those of us who have our kiddos enrolled in sports but those kids for the most part are typically late to the party (hehe) since they have so many sporting commitments.

The athletes are the biggest partiers out of all the students, particularly sports like football, lacrosse, baseball, cheerleading and swimming.

The distance runners seem to be the exception.

But, honestly, having a high school athlete in those 5 sports listed above significantly increases the likelihood of having a kid who parties, drinks and experiments with drugs.