has anyone had to re-litigate custody?

[Anonymous]

We settled through mediation and now my absolutely insane ex is threatening to go to court to challenge the custody arrangement, which is exactly the arrangement that HE asked for and has only been in place for a few months. It really is just an attempt to harass me and run up legal fees.

My lawyer is telling me that judges do not like to revisit/modify custody orders so soon after a divorce is finalized, and also that custody is very unlikely to be modified at all based on our specific circumstances.

Just wondering if anyone has had to go through this and how it went. I would like to nip this in the bud before I spend a lot of money unnecessarily.

[Anonymous]

What is he upset over?

[Anonymous]

Family law legal secretary here. Probably about a third of the time, but generally it's when there have been big life changes, or one party couldn't afford an attorney when the divorce first happened and now it's years later.

Your ex would have to prove he was like, mentally ill (complete with hospital stays and being under the care of a psychiatrist or something) or his job status has changed.

But the phrase "in the best interest of the children" is kept at the forefront of peoples minds in custody cases, and changing the schedule so soon after it was put in place wouldn't be best for the kids since it's already going to change naturally in a couple of months once school is out.

[Anonymous]

If it is what he asked for and only recent, what is his reason for wanting to make a change?

[Anonymous]

We had a family member who revisited custody 10 months after the original agreement, although they ended up settling, because the other parent was taking almost non of their parenting. On the days when they were supposed to pick up from school, they simply wouldn't show.

They ended up settling out of court, because the parent who wasn't parenting's lawyer said they were going to lose.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We had a family member who revisited custody 10 months after the original agreement, although they ended up settling, because the other parent was taking almost non of their parenting. On the days when they were supposed to pick up from school, they simply wouldn't show.

They ended up settling out of court, because the parent who wasn't parenting's lawyer said they were going to lose.

Parents working cannot pick up directly after school. There is clearly more to this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We had a family member who revisited custody 10 months after the original agreement, although they ended up settling, because the other parent was taking almost non of their parenting. On the days when they were supposed to pick up from school, they simply wouldn't show.

They ended up settling out of court, because the parent who wasn't parenting's lawyer said they were going to lose.

Parents working cannot pick up directly after school. There is clearly more to this.

In this case, the working parent was the one who was picking up.

But even if you are a working parent, if your custody agreement says your parenting time starts at dismissal on Tuesday, then you need to make a plan for your kids starting at dismissal on Tuesday. It can be aftercare, or a babysitter, or kids go to a school where they ride the bus or walk home. It might even be ask your ex to pick up the kids. But the plan can’t be don’t show, ignore calls from the school, and let the school eventually call the other parent and then refuse to pay the late fees.

There were other things too but they added up to the kids never being with the other parent to the point that their own lawyer advised them to sign away custody.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We had a family member who revisited custody 10 months after the original agreement, although they ended up settling, because the other parent was taking almost non of their parenting. On the days when they were supposed to pick up from school, they simply wouldn't show.

They ended up settling out of court, because the parent who wasn't parenting's lawyer said they were going to lose.

Parents working cannot pick up directly after school. There is clearly more to this.

In this case, the working parent was the one who was picking up.

But even if you are a working parent, if your custody agreement says your parenting time starts at dismissal on Tuesday, then you need to make a plan for your kids starting at dismissal on Tuesday. It can be aftercare, or a babysitter, or kids go to a school where they ride the bus or walk home. It might even be ask your ex to pick up the kids. But the plan can’t be don’t show, ignore calls from the school, and let the school eventually call the other parent and then refuse to pay the late fees.

There were other things too but they added up to the kids never being with the other parent to the point that their own lawyer advised them to sign away custody.

It is very difficult to get care only a few days a week. Pick up your kid and let the other parent have them after work. You are being difficult.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We had a family member who revisited custody 10 months after the original agreement, although they ended up settling, because the other parent was taking almost non of their parenting. On the days when they were supposed to pick up from school, they simply wouldn't show.

They ended up settling out of court, because the parent who wasn't parenting's lawyer said they were going to lose.

Parents working cannot pick up directly after school. There is clearly more to this.

In this case, the working parent was the one who was picking up.

But even if you are a working parent, if your custody agreement says your parenting time starts at dismissal on Tuesday, then you need to make a plan for your kids starting at dismissal on Tuesday. It can be aftercare, or a babysitter, or kids go to a school where they ride the bus or walk home. It might even be ask your ex to pick up the kids. But the plan can’t be don’t show, ignore calls from the school, and let the school eventually call the other parent and then refuse to pay the late fees.

There were other things too but they added up to the kids never being with the other parent to the point that their own lawyer advised them to sign away custody.

It is very difficult to get care only a few days a week. Pick up your kid and let the other parent have them after work. You are being difficult.

That’s not how it works dude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We had a family member who revisited custody 10 months after the original agreement, although they ended up settling, because the other parent was taking almost non of their parenting. On the days when they were supposed to pick up from school, they simply wouldn't show.

They ended up settling out of court, because the parent who wasn't parenting's lawyer said they were going to lose.

Parents working cannot pick up directly after school. There is clearly more to this.

In this case, the working parent was the one who was picking up.

But even if you are a working parent, if your custody agreement says your parenting time starts at dismissal on Tuesday, then you need to make a plan for your kids starting at dismissal on Tuesday. It can be aftercare, or a babysitter, or kids go to a school where they ride the bus or walk home. It might even be ask your ex to pick up the kids. But the plan can’t be don’t show, ignore calls from the school, and let the school eventually call the other parent and then refuse to pay the late fees.

There were other things too but they added up to the kids never being with the other parent to the point that their own lawyer advised them to sign away custody.

It is very difficult to get care only a few days a week. Pick up your kid and let the other parent have them after work. You are being difficult.

First of all, the working parent was the one who was picking up.

But are you really arguing that a parent with a 50/50 custody agreement that they agreed to, has no obligation to pick up their kids or arrange childcare or notify the other parent that they are working then and won’t make it? Just not showing up is a valid parenting choice?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We had a family member who revisited custody 10 months after the original agreement, although they ended up settling, because the other parent was taking almost non of their parenting. On the days when they were supposed to pick up from school, they simply wouldn't show.

They ended up settling out of court, because the parent who wasn't parenting's lawyer said they were going to lose.

Parents working cannot pick up directly after school. There is clearly more to this.

In this case, the working parent was the one who was picking up.

But even if you are a working parent, if your custody agreement says your parenting time starts at dismissal on Tuesday, then you need to make a plan for your kids starting at dismissal on Tuesday. It can be aftercare, or a babysitter, or kids go to a school where they ride the bus or walk home. It might even be ask your ex to pick up the kids. But the plan can’t be don’t show, ignore calls from the school, and let the school eventually call the other parent and then refuse to pay the late fees.

There were other things too but they added up to the kids never being with the other parent to the point that their own lawyer advised them to sign away custody.

It is very difficult to get care only a few days a week. Pick up your kid and let the other parent have them after work. You are being difficult.

First of all, the working parent was the one who was picking up.

But are you really arguing that a parent with a 50/50 custody agreement that they agreed to, has no obligation to pick up their kids or arrange childcare or notify the other parent that they are working then and won’t make it? Just not showing up is a valid parenting choice?

Why not be decent for your child and work it out for the. You are very difficult and hurting your kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We had a family member who revisited custody 10 months after the original agreement, although they ended up settling, because the other parent was taking almost non of their parenting. On the days when they were supposed to pick up from school, they simply wouldn't show.

They ended up settling out of court, because the parent who wasn't parenting's lawyer said they were going to lose.

Parents working cannot pick up directly after school. There is clearly more to this.

In this case, the working parent was the one who was picking up.

But even if you are a working parent, if your custody agreement says your parenting time starts at dismissal on Tuesday, then you need to make a plan for your kids starting at dismissal on Tuesday. It can be aftercare, or a babysitter, or kids go to a school where they ride the bus or walk home. It might even be ask your ex to pick up the kids. But the plan can’t be don’t show, ignore calls from the school, and let the school eventually call the other parent and then refuse to pay the late fees.

There were other things too but they added up to the kids never being with the other parent to the point that their own lawyer advised them to sign away custody.

It is very difficult to get care only a few days a week. Pick up your kid and let the other parent have them after work. You are being difficult.

That’s not how it works dude.

How easy is it to get car 1-2 days a week?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We had a family member who revisited custody 10 months after the original agreement, although they ended up settling, because the other parent was taking almost non of their parenting. On the days when they were supposed to pick up from school, they simply wouldn't show.

They ended up settling out of court, because the parent who wasn't parenting's lawyer said they were going to lose.

Parents working cannot pick up directly after school. There is clearly more to this.

In this case, the working parent was the one who was picking up.

But even if you are a working parent, if your custody agreement says your parenting time starts at dismissal on Tuesday, then you need to make a plan for your kids starting at dismissal on Tuesday. It can be aftercare, or a babysitter, or kids go to a school where they ride the bus or walk home. It might even be ask your ex to pick up the kids. But the plan can’t be don’t show, ignore calls from the school, and let the school eventually call the other parent and then refuse to pay the late fees.

There were other things too but they added up to the kids never being with the other parent to the point that their own lawyer advised them to sign away custody.

It is very difficult to get care only a few days a week. Pick up your kid and let the other parent have them after work. You are being difficult.

First of all, the working parent was the one who was picking up.

But are you really arguing that a parent with a 50/50 custody agreement that they agreed to, has no obligation to pick up their kids or arrange childcare or notify the other parent that they are working then and won’t make it? Just not showing up is a valid parenting choice?

Why not be decent for your child and work it out for the. You are very difficult and hurting your kid.

They aren’t my children. But how can you work it out with someone who doesn’t want to see the kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We had a family member who revisited custody 10 months after the original agreement, although they ended up settling, because the other parent was taking almost non of their parenting. On the days when they were supposed to pick up from school, they simply wouldn't show.

They ended up settling out of court, because the parent who wasn't parenting's lawyer said they were going to lose.

Parents working cannot pick up directly after school. There is clearly more to this.

In this case, the working parent was the one who was picking up.

But even if you are a working parent, if your custody agreement says your parenting time starts at dismissal on Tuesday, then you need to make a plan for your kids starting at dismissal on Tuesday. It can be aftercare, or a babysitter, or kids go to a school where they ride the bus or walk home. It might even be ask your ex to pick up the kids. But the plan can’t be don’t show, ignore calls from the school, and let the school eventually call the other parent and then refuse to pay the late fees.

There were other things too but they added up to the kids never being with the other parent to the point that their own lawyer advised them to sign away custody.

It is very difficult to get care only a few days a week. Pick up your kid and let the other parent have them after work. You are being difficult.

That’s not how it works dude.

How easy is it to get car 1-2 days a week?

For this family the kids were at a school with aftercare that you can enroll in for a few days a week. She could also have called her ex and asked him to pick up the kids. Or, since she wasn’t working she could have picked up the kids herself. Any of these options are better than simply not showing up for visitation, and leaving your kids sitting in the front office of school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We had a family member who revisited custody 10 months after the original agreement, although they ended up settling, because the other parent was taking almost non of their parenting. On the days when they were supposed to pick up from school, they simply wouldn't show.

They ended up settling out of court, because the parent who wasn't parenting's lawyer said they were going to lose.

Parents working cannot pick up directly after school. There is clearly more to this.

In this case, the working parent was the one who was picking up.

But even if you are a working parent, if your custody agreement says your parenting time starts at dismissal on Tuesday, then you need to make a plan for your kids starting at dismissal on Tuesday. It can be aftercare, or a babysitter, or kids go to a school where they ride the bus or walk home. It might even be ask your ex to pick up the kids. But the plan can’t be don’t show, ignore calls from the school, and let the school eventually call the other parent and then refuse to pay the late fees.

There were other things too but they added up to the kids never being with the other parent to the point that their own lawyer advised them to sign away custody.

It is very difficult to get care only a few days a week. Pick up your kid and let the other parent have them after work. You are being difficult.

First of all, the working parent was the one who was picking up.

But are you really arguing that a parent with a 50/50 custody agreement that they agreed to, has no obligation to pick up their kids or arrange childcare or notify the other parent that they are working then and won’t make it? Just not showing up is a valid parenting choice?

Why not be decent for your child and work it out for the. You are very difficult and hurting your kid.

They aren’t my children. But how can you work it out with someone who doesn’t want to see the kids?

Then what are you talking about? Just making up stuff.