Tip for husbands (spin-off Mother's Day)

[Anonymous]

First: It's incredibly sad that women need to wait for Mother's Day to sleep or have someone else cook and clean. And one of those posters said "my birthday is the month before" so doesn't expect anything mother's day because of it!! Every mom/wife/woman deserves to have a husband who actively participates in home life ALL THE TIME. Mother's Day isn't a big deal if you feel respected all year. Women get upset because it's never about Mother's Day - it's about feeling taken advantage of. Try giving her one day/week ALL YEAR where she doesn't need to wake up, where breakfast is handled, the kids are fed and dressed, the house is picked up. It will change your marriage.

Second: Husbands - if you do have the type of home where mom only gets to sleep on Mother's Day - you need to tell your mom and your mother-in-law that Mother's Day is for active mothers of young kids and you're prioritizing your wife. Your mom hasn't had to wake up all night long feeding or working ft while raising kids for DECADES. Of course she should get flowers and a nice brunch or whatever, but that can happen on Saturday or the following weekend. Stand up for your wife and actually make her feel loved and seen.

[Anonymous]

I’m a woman, and I ask for what I need. I need to sleep in? I tell my husband I need to sleep in, and he lets me sleep in.

Use your words. Know the man you are married to before you choose to procreate with him.

[Anonymous]

Too many words, OP.

Husbands: Mother's Day is now about the mother of your children, not your mom. She can have the Sunday after, or literally any other day, and should, provided she didn't suck as a mother. But do NOT prioritize your mom over your kid's mom. This one is for the woman who birthed your kid(s), not the woman who birthed you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a woman, and I ask for what I need. I need to sleep in? I tell my husband I need to sleep in, and he lets me sleep in.

Use your words. Know the man you are married to before you choose to procreate with him.

You often don't know how they'll be until it happens, or they get worse as the years go by, etc. Don't make this the fault of the woman, which is exactly what men would have you do to deflect any sort of accountability. This is an issue with the majority of married moms. You also shouldn't have to ask - part of being a partner is being kind and loving ON YOUR OWN. They should do this because they want to, not because of a holiday or you specifically asking. "Hey - you do so much for us and I know it's exhausting. I'll have the kids on Saturday mornings so you can rest without worrying or feeling guilty. I love you. You are an amazing mom and wife" Why is that too much to ask?

[Anonymous]

You shouldn't have to ask. The cultural norms unfortunately are still such that young women are the last ones in the pecking order. The older women don't help with this at all. They're happy they're not the last ones in the pecking order any more and take advantage of this as much as they can. The men behave the way they do, because this is what has been modeled to them.